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Struggling through a break up

  • 28-04-2011 10:50am
    #1
    Dublin25
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 123 ✭✭


    I'm looking for advice on how to begin to cope with a breakup. I know there has been other threads on this but can't find a similar situation.

    Myself and the bf have/had been together 5 yrs. 4 of these where spend doing long distance from Dublin to the country and in some cases abroad. Jobs dictated alot of the distance and the ecomony got worse. We'd always had plans for living together, how it would be etc.
    Things looked up last year when finally a job came up in Dublin and we were both so happy. Rented a place, built a home. He went up and down most weekends to see his family. I admit this annoyed me esp when it became nearly everyweekend. I did go down when i could as I adore his family.

    This week my world has come crashing down around me. The realisation has hit us that he can't settle up here and can't see himself here for the rest of his life. Before anyone suggests, yes we did talk before the move that he was happy to do this and that it was what we wanted. It was best for us at the time. Due to him not being able to settle and wanting to be near his family he can't stay here forever. (Hope i'm making sense and not babbling).

    My situation is similar, I don't want to be so far away from my family in the future, esp if i ever have kids, i need to have my family and mam around me. Not to even go into friends, jobs, hobbies.

    Its catch 22, We want the same things as a life together but in different locations. We still love each other soooooo much but know that in future it won't work and know that its best to find out now than 5yrs down the line or if mortgages and babies came along.

    This is tearing me up inside. Thoughts of my life without him is hurting soooo much and thoughts of him finding someone else later down the line is worse to the point that i can't catch my breath. I never thought i would become so dependant on someone than i have him, without even realising it.

    Any advice that anyone can perhaps give in this situtation would be grately welcome. I'm preparing to move back in with the folks, but not a clue how to piece back together whats left of me.

    Sorry for rambling on but I not sure i can sort this on my own.


Comments

  • #2
    greenprincess
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 309 ✭✭greenprincess


    I dont know if I have any advice. But I'm in the same boat. With the BF for 4 yrs and we have broken up due to distance.

    I do think it gets easier. Its been a few weeks now for me and the constant crying seems to have subsided!! So I guess just hang in there.

    Or is there anyway ye could live in the middle? Or is he from really far from Dublin?


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