I think I maybe a repessed homosexual..

goodomens

Please take the time to read this and just tell me what you think. Growing up, I was always homophobic (I didn't hurt anyone, it's just my upbringing). I never knew why, then in recent years I gave the dating girls thing a try, but never felt comfortable in a relationship. Though I do find girls attractive, yet I still fantasize from time to time of having a relationship with a man, I've watched gay porn and was definitely turned on.

I don't know what's going on, I've always been very unhappy, and cannot really find the reason, maybe it's because I'm repressed or something? I am so unhappy, I have thought about suicide many times, and used prescription drugs to get away from the pain. One time, there was one guy I fancied, but he did look like a girl. I don't know.

What do you think?

One option open to you is to try and explore the gay "scene" and get to know gay people. Not for sex or anything like that... but just to get to know people who are gay, the culture, the people and so on.

It certainly can not hurt and it would do much to help you explore many of the questions you must be asking yourself... and maybe even talk to people who have asked those questions themselves too.

baby and crumble

Well first off fair play for coming here and trying to figure it out, that takes a lot of courage!

All i can say is maybe you're gay, maybe you're bi, maybe you're straight- only you will be able to figure that out. but from what you're saying, it does seem like you are attracted to men, one way or another.

The above advice is useful, just maybe put out some feelers and see what being gay is all about- have a read of some of the threads here, maybe come along to the Beers that are being organised...

One thing you will need is support, and that can be online, somewhere like here, or in real life. Do you have any friends or family you could talk to? I find just talking the best way to work things out in your head. Everyone's different though.

best of luck!

Aard

Just give yourself time to be open to the possibility that you might fall in love with a man, and that it's not all doom and gloom.

hare05

I know this may be frustrating to hear when you're looking for a definite answer, but for now don't worry about the labels. Get some support, any lgbt group will do, or anyone willing to help you explore the scene and the bars.

Just go as far as you're comfortable. Don't feel ashamed of the outcome. Love is a beautiful thing no matter what form it takes. Don't feel you've wasted a group's time if you are straight. As long as you've made friends, they'll stick with you.

And have a great time, gay bars are awesome

TylerIE

goodomens wrote: »

I don't know what's going on, I've always been very unhappy, and cannot really find the reason, maybe it's because I'm repressed or something? I am so unhappy, I have thought about suicide many times, and used prescription drugs to get away from the pain. One time, there was one guy I fancied, but he did look like a girl. I don't know.

What do you think?

Perhaps talking it through with a professional who is an expert in LGBT issues may help.

When you are that unhappy and have needed to get away from the pain it really may help to take a step back and explore the issue objectively.

The Gay Mens Health Service offer free counselling services through Outhouse. They also offer a Personal Development Programme for Gay Men and Workshops on "living a healthy gay life". The workshops are given by Professionals with particular experience of LGBT issues. The counselling would be one to one, but if you did the workshops would be group sessions so you could get to meet other people who may be in a similar position.

You can contact outhouse on 01 873 4999 and ask for the GMHS if you wish to seek the counselling service or for further information on the workshops. Even if it turns out your straight the service is there for those who are questioning also.

Finally as almost everybody on the forum will agree with - It gets better... Coming to terms with your sexuality or questioning it can be tough but so many people here on the LGBT forum and across Ireland have wondered how can it possibly work out to find themselves happier than they ever imagined....

Il even include a favourite "It gets Better" video... its been posted here before but really is good for a bit of hope. If in a rush start at 4:25. Theres more it gets better videos on youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4

Annasopra

Maybe ring one of the helplines at www.lgbt.ie