Problems with food

LegacyUser

Hi, im 21 girl and i'm bulimic..i dont know when my problem first began..i think i have been trying to lose weight for quite a while then i succeeded and one day had alot of food to the point of feeling like i was going to get sick..then i thought ok this way i can eat what i want, get sick, and not put back on the weight. it started out once every week or two when i felt like it.

I almost had it under control.fast forward one year and it controls me. i am no longer able to eat a big amount of food or it just triggers an enormous binge.even a taste of tiny bit of choc, and 10 bars later (plus alot more of anything else) and i am puking up again. every day i say..ok this is going to be the day to stop.i start out great, by lunchtime I am back in the bathroom.

I have looked up the bodywhys website, but have not told anyone. I could not take the guilt alone of knowing that anyone else knows of this problem would cause stress which would continue and further the problem.nobody knows, and it will stay this way. I have to do this on my own.

I am just looking for guidance from anyone who has gone through this and come out the other side..what is it that helped them? what was the final straw?how are you dealing with this? is this a lifelong struggle? I am so envious of people who can eat what they want, whenever they want. You guys dont know how lucky you are to not constantly have an inner argument everytime you see a piece of food. Going into any shop is like mental torture. It's horrible, i have to change before it beats me.
Thanks so much for reading this.

LegacyUser

Hi hun,

Ok well first of all give yourself credit for admitting you have a problem. Thats a big step but in my opinion you really need to tell someone. Don't make yourself feel bad for having this problem, its not your fault. I'm a 26 year old girl who has been suffering from eating distress for years and am still recovering. This will not go away on its own. I really would advise you to get help. The Marino Clinic in Dublin is the best, trust me. Go onto the website and start helping yourself today
You can get better, but it will take time and work. Good luck

greenprincess

You need to talk to someone. Your parents, sibling, good friend? Your doctor can help to if you dont feel you can talk to someone you know.

My friend had it, but the best thing for her was letting most people know. When we went on a girls holiday if we though she was going to make herself sick one of us would follow her to the bathroom and not let her.

It sounds awful and you really need to get some help. Because long term it can really affect your body.

x

LegacyUser

How did your friend do it, does she avoid eating much food?im finding it hard to get the balance right. yep i looked up that clinic, but cannot afford to do anything or go to councelling. i actually cannot tell anyone, i just would not have the words. im serious when i say id rather die than tell someone of this problem. because i created the problem, it is my fault i am this way. i think its quite a selfish thing really. i want al the cake, and then just puke it up. its sickening, literally. how does one convince themselves only to eat a normal amount without stopping? i ate a whole box of cereal there.my stomach doesnt even feel full after that.i know its not right. i cannot avoid food, thats why its so hard. the thoughts of this being a life long struggle is a horrifying thought. i feel like so pathethic when i look in the mirror in the bathroom after doing what i do. it was twice today. thank you for your replies girls x

thefeatheredcat

foodhelp wrote: »

I could not take the guilt alone of knowing that anyone else knows of this problem would cause stress which would continue and further the problem.nobody knows, and it will stay this way. I have to do this on my own.

you sound a bit like myself in dealing with life stuff... I'll save you some stress in life and say, talk to someone. Keeping something like this buried and hidden from others will not help you in the long run as it can manifest itself in other ways, and believe me with some of the things I have finally opened up about it has been a huge relief not to carry those burdens alone.

I have had many friends down through the years that suffered from anorexia who eventually got treated for the eating disorders and the problems it stemmed from. I would recommend getting help because I have seen first hand what long term anorexia can do to a person, how the control takes over everything else. Friends that did get help went to specialist clinics that dealt with eating disorders that set them on a program to gradually eat more but in small amounts (like using small spoons and increasing the side of the spoon over time) and gradually increasing it while dealing with the psychological and emotional side related to it.

If you are feeling that it is taking control of you, now is the time to get yourself help before it consumes your life and stops you from living life. From those that I have known with anorexia it certainly can be a long term thing, if left untreated and can effect daily life to an extreme because of the effects on both body and mind.

So I would say, be upfront and open about it, even if it's just to your GP at first, as that is one of the first steps, and get help with it.

Maple

OP, you need more specific and personal help than you can get here. Of course posters can post their own experiences, but in reality, you need to get yourself to proper help. This is too big a deal for you to try and self fix, I think.

I suggest you contact http://www.bodywhys.ie/ or talk to your gp for further help and advice. Do not be embarrassed to discuss this, you are not alone, it is an illness like any other. Many, many people have suffered like you and overcome the illness.

Im afraid I do have to close this thread as you require medical advice and help, and we cannot provide that here. I wish you well in your recovery, which, by posting here, you have already begun.