Guy has been texting for over a month and no mention of meeting up

LegacyUser

This is just a quick question. Met a guy over a month ago and he took my number and we have been texting ever since. Contact has been fairly regular, usually about twice a week. When we text we seem to get on really well and would be texting over the course of a few hours. He requested me as a friend on Facebook as well. The confusing part is that he has never mentioned meeting up once. At this stage i dont know what to think because he is going on holidays next week and its unlikely we will meet up before then. He has texted first most of the time, except for maybe four times. I suppose i am just confused as to why someone would keep texting but never mention meeting up. If anyone could enlighten me on why he might be doing this it would be great. As i suspect he might be seeing someone else and i am an option 2.

I am a friend

Its impossible to say. He could like the attention when you reply, he could have a gf or he could be shy.

Dont read anything in to it. Reply if you feel like it and dont if you dont and see if he asks to meet up.

What happened the night you met him? Did you have a fling with him?

I would not be putting any eggs in this basket to be honest, from experience, if they want to go out with you - they ask....

seenitall

Ego boost, or plan B (boils down to the same thing).

Move on - plenty more where he came from...

S23

It could be many things. You don't exactly expand on what happend the night he took your number.

He could already have a gf. You could be plan B. He could be shy. Or even, shock horror, he might just like you but have no sexual designs on you and be keeping in touch with someone he sees as a friend/potential friend.

If you really want to know one way or another you could always ask him out. It doesn't always have to be the lad who does the asking you know. That said, after a month of nothing, I wouldn't be overly hopeful.

Also it's possible he doesn't want to get involved in anything before his holiday that you say he's going on. He might be one of these lads that's into sun/sea/sex/drink/drunks (tick or delete where appropriate) type holidays. Maybe he doesn't want to have any attachments before he heads off on holiday to get his end away for a couple of weeks.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the quick replies. The night we met i was walking somewhere in the club and he came over to me. We were chatting for ages and had a great laugh. We kissed a few times and i thought there was a spark there. When i said i was going back to my friends he asked for my number and said he knew there was a distance between us but he would be in touch. He was in touch and has been ever since. Like everytime he texts i think thats the last i will hear from him as there is no mention of meeting up but then he texts again a few days later. Its just confusing because i was showing some messages to a few of my friends and they are really chatty always asking questions like with a bit of flirting over and back and my friends said give it time because he wouldnt be texting if he didnt like me.

Emme

Bite the bullet and ask him when you're going to meet. It's over a month now, you should have met him AT LEAST once if he was genuinely interested. If he doesn't give a definite answer about meeting up forget him, don't answer his texts and delete his number if necessary. Don't let him waste your time. There are too many jokers like this around, it sounds like he's already in a relationship.

Why don't you mention meeting up?

ash23

Suggest meeting up. If he doesn't or puts it off indefinitely then you know he's a flake and just cut him off.

I am a friend

I have an eejit (late 30's) at the same craic since last July... Met him a couple of times but knew he was only out for oen thing. He still texts and I reply if I feel like it but my gut from the start was right...

Beruthiel

anonandconfused wrote: »

I suppose i am just confused as to why someone would keep texting but never mention meeting up. If anyone could enlighten me on why he might be doing this it would be great. As i suspect he might be seeing someone else and i am an option 2.

Yup. You're the fall back.
If he was actually interested in anything real happening between ye, he would not keep you hanging for a month.
Cut him off, you're not that desperate.

mood

I had a guy I meet on a dating site text like this. I got feed up. What's the point!

LegacyUser

So if I am to go about asking him to meet up how do I go about it? To be honest I am getting tired of it at this stage coz in spite of myself I find myself liking him as we do seem to get on well. So I guess the only way to find out is to ask him myself but I have never done it before and I have a feeling that when it comes down to it I will chicken out! The holiday he is going on is a sun holiday for a week alright but I dont see how this is stopping him to ask me to meet up because obviously he will be with a few girls over there and even if we got on brilliantly on a date I wouldn't have any reason to be mad about it after only one date.

S23

anonandconfused wrote: »

When i said i was going back to my friends he asked for my number and said he knew there was a distance between us but he would be in touch.

It wouldn't nessicarily change my opinions on the matter totally but how big a distance are we talking here? I mean if you live a massive distance apart it is very possible that he doesn't want to come on too strong by travelling from Malin Head to Mizen Head within a few days of chatting to some girl in a nightclub

_Whimsical_

Ask him if he wants to meet and see what he says.

He might have a perfectly good reason for not making any arrangements yet. You've already said he lives a distance away. Lack of money, or a myriad of other understandable factors might mean that he hasn't been free in the past 4 weeks to travel. Also, he might be just seeing how it goes and getting to know you. Personally I'd prefer to get to know someone and see what kind of connection we had before I embarked on a long distance thing with them. I'd certainly prefer it to spending a weekend with someone and getting close to them only for them to decide it was nothing special afterwards.

I wouldn't take it too seriously or have huge expectations here, you may end up with someone special or you might gain a friend you can text the odd time. Be casual about it in your own mind and don't go getting too involved unless you think there's something amazing between you. I certainly wouldn't agree with advice to delete his number or that he's wasting your time intentionally on the basis of not organising to meet in the space of a few weeks if he lives at a distance.

LegacyUser

He would be about an hour and a half away from my home house and just over two hours away from where I live during work.

Blusher

Sure an hour and a half is nothing really, suggest a meet up!

I meet a guy a a few months back and we kissed and he wanted my number, i was shocked when he asked because he lives three hours away, but he texted regualarly and said when he was going to be down and suggested a meet up and eventually we did, then it happened that he was going away and then next thing i was going away so we didnt speak for like a month because we both ended up being out of the country,( til me being the ejet sent a drunk text, although he did text back within 10 min of my drunk text which was kinda nice!:eek:) Anyway he text again during the week to say he was around but i wasnt around and when i did come up he was on his way home and apologised twice for not giving enough notice to me for a meet up. There is rumblings of another meet up and and this guy lives aggggeees away so i wouldnt give up hope!

S23

It's not nothing. Jaysus I can get from here (Dublin) to Belfast, Galway or Waterford within 90 mins - 2 hours and I wouldn't consider any of those places close.

So, to sum up, I wouldn't write him off for not having suggested a meet up within a month of getting your number given the distance that could be involved. If you really want to meet up feel free to suggest it and then you should, hopefully, have your answer.

dixiefly

Say something like "we'll have to meet up before you go on holidays or we will forget what the other looks like" or the next time he texts you you could say "hey, where is this really going between us, we are such a distance and havent met up yet".

LegacyUser

I'm a guy and I know we all differ hugely but If he's anything like me he's probably afraid to ask in fear of you saying no. I used to be the opposite but since I got a no (in a weird long winded way)and just one, I've not liked asking things like this.

Saying that, If I was out with a girl I'd let her know I'm having a good time and what not but I'd still be very wary of saying 'do you wanna go for dinner tomorrow night?' obviously once we've over come the first few times of meeting up I'm happy to then ask her to places and stuff.

I think it's just that I'm afraid of messing up the new friendship/relationship that we've been building, and If I come here for advice I'll always get the 'you've got nothing to lose line' which at the time I would strongly disagree with, but then a few months down the line it's very true.

I recently asked for help and got the same line, I really didn't want to risk it though, and didn't but the girl asked me out, Now that we're getting along even better than before I would of been annoyed with myself If I didn't ask her and then nothing happened.

And well If I got a no, then that's that. There's is always the whole staying friends thing which rarely works out and a few weeks later I've probably forgotten about the girl. But I can never think like that at the time.

Soldie

There could be any number of reasons why he has not suggested to meet up yet, and there's not really much point speculating as to what those reasons may be since you don't know him. Bite the bullet and bring it up yourself.

Firetrap

Some people will happily text, text, text til the cows come home. Then text some more. At this stage, I think you have no choice really but to bite the bullet and try to organise some sort of definite time/place for a meet-up. Set a definite date and location and see what happens. My instinct would tell me that he's a time waster but perhaps he is just shy and afraid to bite the bullet. Either way, it's time that things made some sort of progression. Or not.

newbee22

I had an eejit texting me too for ages, never suggested meeting up so I stopped replying to the texts. Some men are such time wasters! You should bite the bullet and suggest meeting up, whats the worse that can happen!:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the comments everybody. We were texting the other night and i mentioned that i had passed a sign post for where he is from. He said then in a joking way why didnt i pass through it and i should have told him i was passing. I was with friends so we wouldnt have been able to meet up anyway. So he is on holidays now and i buckled when it came to asking him to meet up so don't think I will be hearing from him again. At least when he is on holidays I won't be expecting to hear from him!!