My Girlfriend....

jive

She went to take a pee when we were watching Wagons Den, she was gone 5 minutes and I just knew something was up. So I wandered to the bathroom and knocked and asked if everything is ok, she said "yes i'll be right out"...her voice was laboured and immediately I became overwhelmed with suspicion...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!" and she screamed "no!" but there was no stopping this, I smashed through the door like a randy bronco and I see her sitting on the toilet seat...........







I told her to get the fúck up, she didnt so I threw her off. I looked into the bowl.........

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My suspicions were confirmed. A god damn log. A brown monstrosity. Bitch you better pray this isn't yours. I looked around and nobody else was there, I KNOW THIS IS YOUR POOP YA HORE. Then she had the AUDACITY to scream at me that I'm crazy and that she's going to call the guards, all the while with god damn toilet paper right there in her hands. I told her no need to call them....
I'm breaking up with you. You some kinda poop hore.

And that was that. I feel like a new man and you know what? I'm going to find a wench who doesn't poop.

Silverfish

Banned for a month, before you post the second half of this.