Trying Vs Preparing for a Natural Birth

SanFran07

Interesting article for any Mums who are preparing for a natural birth.

http://www.birthresourcenetwork.org/blog/94-why-you-shouldnt-try-to-have-an-unmedicated-birth




Things to do to stack the odds in your favour of having a natural birth.


http://birth-smart.com/2011/04/21/chance-or-choice/

cbyrd

While it's great to hear stories like these, you'll notice they're all American. It's a lot harder to have a home birth in Ireland as you have to be accepted by the HSE as being low risk and be within a certain distance from a hospital.

I've had 3 very uneventful and straightforward births i have allergies and this alone means i can't even get onto the MLU scheme.
While i have the confidence to go through my labour and birth with just gas and air, i don't know if i'd have the confidence that if anything went wrong that we'd get help quick enough. . just my opinion. .

Squiggler

Make sure you get your dates right first time, and give yourself breathing room if necessary. Once you pass week 41 there is huge pressure exerted in this country.

We had to report for scan and CTG every two days, deal with heavy pressure to agree to an induction and when we refused induction (there was no medical evidence that it was necessary) were subjected to a campaign of constant telephone calls from the maternity hospital and pressure from the HSE. The stress of all of that successfully stopped my labour on three occasions and in the end it was all too much for our perfect little baby.

The way women in the late stages of pregnancy are treated by some consultants/hospitals is appalling. And all the planning in the world is useless if they once get an excuse to pull you into their net.

Shelli2

I think the pressure to be a super mum and go natural is worse tbh, I had people all along telling me how much better it would be for my baby to come into this world drug free and we would bond better if I wasn't 'spaced' and that so much bad chemicals would pass into my baby and all this other bullsh*t....scared the living daylights out of me.

I wound myself up about it so much and was so determind in the end to have a 'natual' birth, that when I came to the crunch and I really couldn't handle the pain that I was hysterical asking for an epidural...imo the stress of that was prob much worse for me and baby. I had enormous guilt during the 10 following hours, couldnt stop apologising to my partner and was very worried about my baby. I had a 12lb baby boy, the biggest born in Holles St for 10 years, and was told that had they have known how big he really was it would have been c-section.

Well I'll tell you honestly right now...I'm booking an epidural well in advance for my next baby! I'm not saying epidural is ideal, but it saved me, I really was in a proper state. Obviously natural is better, as with all things in life, but sometimes it's just not an option and people shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that, or be scared to admit that they need a little 'un-natural' help!

SanFran07

Shelli - I agree that there is huge pressure on new Mothers to be supermums but I don't see where the pressure is on any Mother to have a natural birth. Was it something that you came across often?

What I took away from the first article in particular is that if you do some preparation and research before hand (like you would for any big event in your life) and stay flexible (in case something comes up that nobody could predict like a 12lb baby) then why would you feel guilty or beat yourself up over it?

Cybrd - it's not just harder to have a homebirth here it's harder to have a natural birth unless you're with an MLU or Community Midwife scheme. These options are not widely available so the deck is stacked against first time mothers having natural births in our hospitals for example the lack of hydrotherapy/baths/pools, time limits on birth, routine active management of labour, not knowing your Midwife ahead of time, birth partner restrictions etc etc.. If a Mum can have a natural birth with all of these obstacles ahead of her never mind the fear and new sensations of the birth process then she does deserve a medal!:D

Moonbeam

I had both my girls in Holles St both natural drug free births as I intended.1st labour was 3 hours 2nd was 45 minutes,the pain was so bad the 2nd time I considered the epi but it was only so bad because everything was going so quickly.
I like the idea of a home birth but would blame myself far too much if anything went wrong and we live 1/2 hour from the hospital.
I have also been lucky to have 2 straight forward births but I am in my 20s,not over weight,sort of fit,no major health issues so things have been stacked in my favour too.
If and when I have more kids I can't say they will be born in hospital,I can't say it will be a natural birth,I can't say I won't be drugged because I do not know,but my intention would always be drug free and natural and not in the car on the way to hospital!!!

January

SanFran07 wrote: »

Shelli - I agree that there is huge pressure on new Mothers to be supermums but I don't see where the pressure is on any Mother to have a natural birth. Was it something that you came across often?

What I took away from the first article in particular is that if you do some preparation and research before hand (like you would for any big event in your life) and stay flexible (in case something comes up that nobody could predict like a 12lb baby) then why would you feel guilty or beat yourself up over it?

Cybrd - it's not just harder to have a homebirth here it's harder to have a natural birth unless you're with an MLU or Community Midwife scheme. These options are not widely available so the deck is stacked against first time mothers having natural births in our hospitals for example the lack of hydrotherapy/baths/pools, time limits on birth, routine active management of labour, not knowing your Midwife ahead of time, birth partner restrictions etc etc.. If a Mum can have a natural birth with all of these obstacles ahead of her never mind the fear and new sensations of the birth process then she does deserve a medal!:D

All mums, whether they have a natural birth or not deserve a medal. You know it makes me really sad when people push natural birth, sometimes it's just not possible for women, no matter how hard they try.

It's a struggle every day to know that my first birth ended in an emergency c section and the flippant comments some people make (including my own brothers and sisters joking I was "too posh to push") about it upset me, not you SanFran07, just people in general. I still am and think I will be for a long time, a little bit depressed about it and I know some of the other women who's births ended in c section (not planned c sections) on this forum agree with me on that. Even though I had a successful vaginal birth on number 2 (with epidural but that had worn off before the pushing stage) I'll still feel like a failure.

Mothman

January wrote: »

Even though I had a successful vaginal birth on number 2 ... I'll still feel like a failure.

I think that says something about the culture here...dammed if you do and dammed if you don't

Both mine were born at home. I think we went from ignorance is bliss for the first one to knowledge is empowering for the second.

Read nothing before the first as reading just seemed to fill us with what can go wrong....well that's what the midwife is for

Before the 2nd we attended a half day or full day course about birthing. To have all the stages of birthing explained etc was amazing and really helped appreciate the whole process. It took any fear away and was something to look forward to. Of course I've forgotten most of it, but it'll come back to me later this year

Hannibal Smith

January wrote: »

All mums, whether they have a natural birth or not deserve a medal. You know it makes me really sad when people push natural birth, sometimes it's just not possible for women, no matter how hard they try.

It's a struggle every day to know that my first birth ended in an emergency c section and the flippant comments some people make (including my own brothers and sisters joking I was "too posh to push") about it upset me, not you SanFran07, just people in general. I still am and think I will be for a long time, a little bit depressed about it and I know some of the other women who's births ended in c section (not planned c sections) on this forum agree with me on that. Even though I had a successful vaginal birth on number 2 (with epidural but that had worn off before the pushing stage) I'll still feel like a failure.

I feel exactly the same. My mother is one of the main causes...when it comes to birthing stories I get overlooked because I didn't have a 'real' birth. I was induced at 36 weeks because of pre-eclampsia, neither me or my baby were ready for labour, he went into distress and it ended up being a section. Not my fault, but you still feel you're not a 'real' mum because you hear others boasting about pushing baby's out in 3 hours and only needing one stitch and we're like second class mums or something.

SanFran07

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

I feel exactly the same. My mother is one of the main causes...when it comes to birthing stories I get overlooked because I didn't have a 'real' birth.

Of all the people who's support you need.... that must have been (and probably still is) so hard to deal with. Giving her the benefit of the doubt here but did your Mum realise how serious pre-eclampsia is?

NextSteps

Squiggler wrote: »

We had to report for scan and CTG every two days, deal with heavy pressure to agree to an induction and when we refused induction (there was no medical evidence that it was necessary) were subjected to a campaign of constant telephone calls from the maternity hospital and pressure from the HSE. The stress of all of that successfully stopped my labour on three occasions and in the end it was all too much for our perfect little baby .

Is the baby ok?

Squiggler

NextSteps wrote: »

Is the baby ok?

Sadly no, our little baby died during the 4th instance of labour, and was stillborn following induced labour (my 5th).

cynder

Im so sorry for your loss, there are no words i can say, i cant even compehend how you must be suffering. Thoughts are with you.

May i ask what you called your little one?

I am so sorry for your loss, Squiggler. My thoughts are with you and your family. Bless you and your little baby.

Squiggler

Thanks, it's been unbelievably tough.

We called the baby Bun, which is what we called it throughout the pregnancy, it seemed most appropriate.

Ayla

Oh god, Squiggler, I am so sorry to hear of this...I've been thinking about you from another thread and was so hoping to hear all went well for you & your family. My heart's breaking for you right now, I cannot possibly imagine...

I hope you find peace, and may Bun rest peacefully.

angelfire9

Squiggler I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling
Will be thinking of you and keeping you and yours in my prayers,

Angela

Das Kitty

I'm so sorry Squiggler. I can't even begin to comprehend how you must feel.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Xx

NextSteps

I'm so sorry.

lolli

Squiggler,

I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

Hannibal Smith

Squiggler, so sorry to read about little Bun. Hope it gets a bit more bearable soon xxx

Moonbeam

*Huge hugs* to you and your family Squiggler.
Sorry to hear about Bun:(

Edited out of respect for squiggler's loss.

angelfire9

Deleted User wrote: »

Hello all, was reading through this thread and thought I'd chime in with a few things I think mothers to be should bear in mind.
......

James, while I appreciate the thought you put into your post I feel it is EXTREMELY inappropriate to post info of this nature at at time when the regular posters are sympathising with one of our other regulars who has just informed us that her much anticipated baby was still-born

Facts & figures have a time and a place and while you probably did post in the most appropriate thread for the information you gave your timing could not have been any worse if you had tried!

My apologies, I do not mean to antagonise anyone.

Sorry for your loss Squiggler.

angelfire9

Deleted User wrote: »

My apologies, I do not mean to antagonise anyone.

Sorry for your loss Squiggler.

Not antagonistic more inappropriate IMHO

(sorry Mods if I'm sticking my nose in)

Ang

January

In future if anyone has a problem with a post please report it.

Orion

Sorry to hear of your loss Squiggler.

Thanks for being understanding James and editing the post.