Nasty rumour at work

LegacyUser

Someone has started spreading a rumour at work that I am gay. Not that I think this is nasty or anything but I've been getting a lot of sniggers and behind my back comments which isn't nice and is unduly stressful. I am very tolerant of homosexuality actually so normally it wouldn't even bother me but what gets to me is that some girl is spreading the rumour out of pure maliciousness (I am a man)

You might think that my co-workers are simple minded and immature... well you'd be right. My workplace is dominated by people of a lower intellectual bar and frankly its beginning to get to me. I'm really tempted to walk out of my job because I'm sick of this stupid attitude and the people who seem to have grudges against me. I don't say boo to a sheep, I just go in and do my days work. I work harder than anyone else, even though I despise my job, but for some reason a small group of women have decided to spread this rumour.

I'm greatly distressed about all of this. I'm straight and single and this is pissing me off. I feel like I am being bullied.

spinandscribble

Any chance one of these women hit on you and since you didn't notice/encourage her she's taking it out on you?
Some people just love to gossip and if they notice something small, like you don't clearly fancy any of them, that MUST mean you fancy none of them.

Happened to me before on a college trip, a ex rubbed my stomach as it was hurting, the next thing I knew I was apparently pregnant and being told by the organiser i was endangering myself and my "baby" by not declaring it to the health and safety officer before the trip... *face palm* the culprit was a woman with an overactive imagination

*rant over*

The was I approached that was to go to the source and ask why would she think that, while laughing. Thats when I found out about the 'suspicious' belly rub, and laughed it off some more.

Now laughing it off might be hard if you really dislike these people plus you're being bullied. If you appear upset or too mad, you might seem like you're hiding something or there's a grain of truth. BUT the truth of all this is your sexuality is none of THEIR business and you shouldn't have to put up with this. They're always using this lie against you, using it to bully you.

I think you should confront (in a unaggressive way) and ask who here has been talking about this rumour behind your back? where did this information came from and why do they find it so interesting? People who bully LOVE to see the 'victim' upset, so don't raise your voice ect. Turn the tables on them if they're still acting the idiot or get worse by going to HR.

johnboysligo

you are being bullied, make a complaint to your superior that rumors have being thrown around about you and its effecting you. Ireland is a litigation friendly nation so any employer with half a brain will take virtually every action necessary to stop this kind of bullying.
the gossiping tarts wont find your sexual preferences very interesting after being told to shut up or face the dole line.

Nothing wrong with telling people you're straight. Just don't let anyone see you're bothered. It only spurs them on.

If it gets seriously bad, speak to your boss.

tawnyowl

true-or-false wrote: »

Nothing wrong with telling people you're straight. Just don't let anyone see you're bothered. It only spurs them on.

Unfortuntately, even saying that may make it seem to to gossips that the OP is bothered.

tawnyowl

nastyrumourvictim wrote: »

Someone has started spreading a rumour at work that I am gay. Not that I think this is nasty or anything but I've been getting a lot of sniggers and behind my back comments which isn't nice and is unduly stressful. I am very tolerant of homosexuality actually so normally it wouldn't even bother me but what gets to me is that some girl is spreading the rumour out of pure maliciousness (I am a man)

You might think that my co-workers are simple minded and immature... well you'd be right. My workplace is dominated by people of a lower intellectual bar and frankly its beginning to get to me. I'm really tempted to walk out of my job because I'm sick of this stupid attitude and the people who seem to have grudges against me. I don't say boo to a sheep, I just go in and do my days work. I work harder than anyone else, even though I despise my job, but for some reason a small group of women have decided to spread this rumour.

I'm greatly distressed about all of this. I'm straight and single and this is pissing me off. I feel like I am being bullied.

You are being bullied. Is there someone in your job that you can speak to, someone in authority that you can trust?

CDfm

OP - being tolerant is a good thing and I posted something on boards over Xmas and someone pm'd me saying fess up you're gay. I am not and it did not really bother me.

If it does not affect your life other than being a bit of an irritation just now I would probably not say anything. I wouldn't walk out of my job.

Low skilled and production line jobs are notorious for this type of behaviour. Cackle central.

You say you are single so and would prefer not to be so a question might be would you date a co-worker ?

Most people do not listen to work gossip.

It sounds to me like you are a bit of a loner and what people think of you is significant to you.

Could it be that you need to make an effort to befriend some of your co-workers as opposed to confront them.

If you are fraustrated by the work -maybe you should ask your supervisor ir manager if there are any opportunities for advancement within the company.

tinkerbell

You should be going to HR / your manager about this.

LegacyUser

To be honest, this is absolutely nothing to be worried about. Whatsoever. Don't take yourself so seriously.

If I was in your position, I would not focus on this at all. Workplace gossip is a horrendous thing at times, but a gay rumour is nothing to worry about and easy to set straight.

Rumours that you hooked up with someone, or broke machinery or are thinking of quitting etc. they are the vicious rumours. If you can't handle a gay rumour, you need a thicker skin. It is not slanderous, it is not going to ruin your career.

tawnyowl

dontworry wrote: »

To be honest, this is absolutely nothing to be worried about. Whatsoever. Don't take yourself so seriously.

If I was in your position, I would not focus on this at all. Workplace gossip is a horrendous thing at times, but a gay rumour is nothing to worry about and easy to set straight.

If the workplace has an air of homophobia, which seems to be the case, it can lead to further victimisation by the rumour-mongers.

Rumours that you hooked up with someone, or broke machinery or are thinking of quitting etc. they are the vicious rumours. If you can't handle a gay rumour, you need a thicker skin. It is not slanderous, it is not going to ruin your career.

I'm not so sure about the comments not being slanderous - that may be a matter for discussing on the Legal section on boards.ie.

LegacyUser

I think I misunderstood the OP's post in hindsight. I apologise. Please ignore what I said (I thought the OP was just asked by someone if he was gay, I did not see the part about the sniggering/behind back comments which is bullying).

generalmental

johnboysligo wrote: »

you are being bullied, make a complaint to your superior that rumors have being thrown around about you and its effecting you. Ireland is a litigation friendly nation so any employer with half a brain will take virtually every action necessary to stop this kind of bullying.
the gossiping tarts wont find your sexual preferences very interesting after being told to shut up or face the dole line.

good advice, but dont do this. firstly it an isolated incident and you will need alot more than a rumor to prove you are being bullied.

secondly it will make your situation worse, you will be known as the rat and that makes it unbearable.

just see how things go try to find out who started the rumor and have a quiet word with them.