depression

GoldenSlumbers

Hello I’m a 21 year old girl and I’ve been suffering of a depression for a period of about 8 months now. I’ve been reading the book called “Feeling Good” and it has helped me tackle some of the mistakes you make in your thinking when depressed. When you’re not familiar with the book, you might consider looking up a short summary of the book online to see what I’m talking about.

At the source of my depression is:
- feeling lonely, feeling in need of a boyfriend to feel happiness. Feeling defeated, useless, not loved when alone.
- wanting to come up to my own high standards and in failing to so feeling like I’m no good. Wanting to be the best of the best.

Though the book has afforded me great help with realizing that you can feel happiness even when you’re alone and that you can feel proud of yourself even when you’re not perfect in every aspect in life – I still feel a lot of need to find a boyfriend and to be perfect! I wonder if anyone has any tips or exercises I could do?

I’d say most of the time I feel alright (80% of the times), sometimes I feel very joyfull (5%) but sometimes (15%) I feel suicidal and lately I’ve been feeling like screaming out for love, affection and understanding. I feel like hitting people and blaming them for my depression (which is stupid). I can’t stop thinking about this guy I’ve had some sort of a thing with, even though I’m not in love with him. I just liked having him close and I miss it. My mind is in the past and in these memories of him.
I’ve also been suffering from a tension headache for the past weeks and that has made me even more stressed out. I tried meditation, I tried walking, I try to empty my mind and stop seeking for love but it’s very hard for me. When I’m doing things like hanging out with friend or going to a concert I feel great but once I come home and I realize I’m alone I feel depressed again and burst out crying. The crying has been going on for the past two weeks, since the last time I spoke with the guy. We decided to end it, and though I know it was the best thing for us to do, still I miss him. I think now I’ve realized I’m back to being on my own and I can’t stand the thought of that. It keeps me crying.

Please help me out. If anyone knows how to deal with these mood swings, or deal with thoughts of loneliness, or learn to empty your mind, tell me!
Does meditation work for that? Does walking work for that? What exercise in the book helps with this? Should I start doing anti-depressants to control the mood swings? Should I do more things on my own or should I start doing more things with new people? How do I gain self-respect and joy in life?

LegacyUser

op I often find myself feeling just like you described so lonely with mood swings going from a blinding rage over minor frustrations to being nearly brought to tears when I make a simple mistake doing something and I sometimes just cant stop thinking about someone that I care for but would never and could never be with.

It nearly breaks me every day, I often find myself thinking this isn't worth it and I want to scream at how useless I find myself.
Joy comes with the little things or at least I try to take it from the little things, the occasional comedy or fantasy movie that lets me forget my worries for a little while or the nice scenic walks I try to take once or twice a week. Its the little things that make me realize I can with a little hard work on my part improve my life just a little bit at a time.
Self confidence is still a major issue for me it holds me back making it difficult to break out of my comfort zone

Self respect is earned just like any other kind of respect, set yourself a goal and reach it something that depends on only you and your ability's or skills.

Mood altering drugs are something only a health professional should advice you on, if you received advice or recommendations to take some that didn't come from a doctor or therapist than ignore it.