I think I'm in love with her :(

LegacyUser

I've known this girl properly for about 2 years and we're both in our late teens, she's my only close friend and when I first got to know her I had a massive crush on her. After a while I came to the conclusion that it was never going to happen because she was really straight but just confused about the whole thing. She's done a lot of not very nice things to me, but I can maybe write off as accidents or being terrified of coming into contact with someone who knew they were gay. Overall, I've a bit of a love/hate friendship with her.

Now recently I ended up living with her for a week or two and our relationship became a lot more affectionate than it used to be, in the sense that I always used to worry about hugging her or anything in case she took it the wrong way but now thats sort of gone completely. We had this massive talk about how confused and torn up she was about her sexuality, that she had no sexual attraction to men but still liked them in some ways that she worried were just down to social conditioning and other stuff. She then kind of dropped the bombshell that she did really like girls but was really afraid of it so kind of turned it off in her head. It was like talking to myself before I accepted I was gay and I hadn't realized how upset she was about all of it. Then she said that there were friends in her life that were girls who she wanted to explore the whole thing with but was worried about the consequences.

After whatever time we spent together, my feelings for her are all back with a vengeance and now that there is the possibility she likes me too I'm worried about forcing her into things, scaring her and ruining our friendship but I really want this to happen. What now?

Aishae

id be in two minds about that one. on the one hand its romantic to explore things together and to help someone adjust. on the other hand id ask myself if i felt that strongly for someone do i really want to put my heart on the line with someone who doesnt really know who or what they are, who may well end up saying 'yes, im definitely straight'?

she's admitted she likes girls, it doesn't say she's definitely bi but it definitely shows how she needs to sort her head out for her own sake.

if it were me i would definitely be there for her as a friend - not only as a friend but as someone who has been exactly where she has. but i'd be inclined to just let the romantic thing slide until she feels more sure of herself. Or at least expressed a clear desire to explore the potential with me. Because i cant shake the feeling that she would have said you were one of the people she'd like to explore things with when she mentioned it. Of course she could have just been talking hypothetically and wasn't ready to act on it in any way yet. Which brings us back to being there until she's ready.

I hope she's feeling clearer - and you too - soon!

bitter_lemon

she might only want a bit of a tiddle. it might suit you both. don't be looking too much into it!