Cyber sex?

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

came home drunk a few nights ago after a fight with my OH. She decided it was OK for her to talk about certain personal things about me to her mates and I found out about it that night and was very angry. That same night I came hme afterward and decided to go online to watch porn and go to sleep as a lot of guys do. I rarely watch porn and am satisfied with my OH in a sexual sense completely. She is by far the best girl I've ever been with in that sense (and we generally get on very, very well - this night being an exception).

Anyway, I ended up going onto that site where you see someone's webcam and they see yours. Heard it was a laugh and went onto it cause i heard some girls give porn shows (i know, i'm a bit ashamed but i was very drunk!!) but ended up gettin a bit aroused by it (maybe i'm a bit of an exhibistionist). And ended up showin my member to a random girl (she didn't ask and we didn't engage - i just did it!).

I did it for a minute or two and played around with myself and then suddenly I was like to meself WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT!? I didn't show me face or anything - just the lad himself. I told my GF the next day i was on it and flashed someone and she thought the story was funny but I still feel guilty. I don't she gets that i was playing with myself and was turned on by it.

My lady is going on J1 in a month's time and we are probably going to breakup. I'm also upset about that as I have suffered from depression since an early age and finally found someone I completely connect with. I'm very worried that this will get me into depression.

Do you guys think what I did was wrong? She says she thought it was funny and was a bit shocked but I didn't go into details with her (I said i flashed when i was a bit turned on by it and then turned it off). Hmm... I feel like an utter loser and I'm very guilty. I have me own fantasies about sex and i think this is just another one that she can't do for me... I like being watched? I dunno... it's weird.

Anyone have any suggestions? I told my brother (as embararasing as that was!) and he said it was a silly thing to do but to leave it and forget about it and not do it again. I just don't think that this solves it.

LegacyUser

I don't think you've done anything wrong. Well, it's maybe a little unfaithful but you didn't actually get together with someone else and you told your gf about it (although you might have underplayed it). We all have sexual fetishes that we need to give in to every now and again, ideally with our partner, but you were angry, you did something you regret. Stop beating yourself up about it. We're all human.

LegacyUser

whatislove? wrote: »

I don't think you've done anything wrong. Well, it's maybe a little unfaithful but you didn't actually get together with someone else and you told your gf about it (although you might have underplayed it). We all have sexual fetishes that we need to give in to every now and again, ideally with our partner, but you were angry, you did something you regret. Stop beating yourself up about it. We're all human.

Yeah, i think it was a bit unfaithful too... I did tell her about it but said it was more for a laugh (which it was at the start - it just turned into something else for a minute or two). I have some sexual fetishes and i feel bit ashamed about em. None of em are dangerous or out there - just silly ones like wantin to have my way with her in a toilet or her tying me up or havin a threesome with her and a bloke (i think im a bit bi, ya see). Thing is i'd love to go on that site with her too but dont think shed be into it. I know when i was younger i used to go onto those teen chat rooms and have cyber sex and that but that was me just being a little teenager.. ha!

guess im more upset that i did this knowing were breaking up soon. i dont know how im going to cope and get over her. i honestly would marry her. im sure ya can tell im a young guy from how im goin on (im in my early 20s), but i honestly would do anything for her. i dont have loads of money but saved a good bit of my dole just in case she needs me in america over the summer.. if she doesnt im going to save it anyway for a ring. i dont think she feels like that tbh but i want her to and if she decides against bein with me when she comes back im going to just have to find a different lady. i kno im a good bloke. i treat her like a feckin queen. i pay for everything, make her dinner nearly every night and take her places. she doesnt take advantage tho - she does say how im great and that. maybe at times i feel bit underappreciated - but i supose i am more upset that i did somethign wrong.

thing is i suppose i got even more annoyed because this bloke she met on holidays a few months ago is now on her FB. she was visitin her mate in france and she told me he was into her but she told him where to go. now he is on her FB and comments on things. im not the jealous type but that's gettin to me too.

sorry, just venting at this stage! thanks for the advice there. feel better already