Should I say something?

LegacyUser

Just looking for opinions here, I was seeing a guy around xmas time who I had known a long time. He was very full on, hinting about moving in, saying all the right things and calling me his girlfriend etc. I fell for it and thought he wanted a relationship but bascially he used me and after our first night together I was immediately dumped and blocked off facebook. Wasnt too much of an issue for me although I found his behaviour very hurtful and told him as much.

Now I see he as taken up with one of my facebook friends, someone who is very vunerable and a lovely person. I don't think she has any idea what he did on me. She is telling all the world about how much in love she is (after one night out with him) and is planning their future and babies etc all wrote out on facebook. While I am not close friends with this girl, I would hate to see her hurt as she has been though a lot. Should I say something? mention in passing that he is not as nice as he appears and to be careful or should I just leave her to it? Ive not commented on the lots of status about her happiness and I guess she is now wondering why?

LegacyUser

doItellher? wrote: »

She is telling all the world about how much in love she is (after one night out with him) and is planning their future and babies etc all wrote out on facebook.

Oh my God. How embarassing. No don't say anything OP. She will just think it's sour grapes and won't listen anyway. Do you have any mutual friends who could have a word with her and gently help her to see she is humiliating herself?

I doubt there is anything you can say to help her. Talking about babies and marriage. The poor thing. Does she have MH problems?

But how very embarassing for the poor girl. Maybe hide her feeds for now.

Aishae

mutual friend sounds like a good idea as the other poster said, if you tell her she wont listen. but someone neutral might have better luck. the bloke sounds like a right t*^% to go all out leading you on to bed you - sounds a bit like his MO. maybe he only did that in your case and its different with this girl but it's a bit risky to just let it lie if she's so vulnrable.

the only other option i can see is to wait and see how things are go

LegacyUser

I had a similar experience but fortunately for me I was given a heads up. Had a guy quite full on but a neighbour told me what he had been like with a friend of hers, basically a complete asshole to her friend who would blank her everytime after that. So I could have thought OK maybe he just didn't like her and that doesnt mean he would be like that with me but my gut said walk away. Anyway because I would not meet up with him, he blanked me very obviously infront of friends after that! Very childish behaviour!

Told him last weekend what I thougth of his childish behaviour by text as he wouldnt talk to me. Got a sorry text back but thank god I never dated that loser! If you have any mutal friend maybe just tell them what happened. She does seem a little naive though if she is declaring all on Facebook. Maybe she would rather bury her head in the sand. Surely she has met some of his friends or people who know him and they have mentioned his past behaviour. I know afew friends of the guy I mentioned gave me quite large hints this guy had treated girls badly before. Suppose it all comes down to if you want to listen or not!! Would you have listened if it was the other way round now?? Some do, some dont!!

LegacyUser

I really think you should say something even if she chooses to ignore it.

I wish someone had been able to warn me about my sociopathic ex who swept me off my feet several times, until I finally smelled the coffee..
Within a couple of dates he was turning my head with talk of exotic wedding locations and calling me his Miss Right. Unfortunately like this guy's latest victim I was vulnerable and my ex took full advantage of this. It has taken me months to come to terms with exactly how evil he is and I struggle every day to remember all the sh*t, and not remember what I thought were the good times.

I keep telling myself he's someone else's nightmare now.

Please tell this woman how this man treated you, keep it factual and let her take it from there.

LegacyUser

Unfortunately she seems to have found out for herself. She has hidden her relationship status, and changed her profile pic and gone all quiet.

I'm feeling gulity now that I knew what he was like and allowed the same thing to happen to her.

Maybe I will wait a bit and ask her how she is. She is a really nice person.

Why the hell do men to this..... I was blocked from his page the minute he finished using me.

MissOphelia

I doubt there is anything you can say to help her. Talking about babies and marriage. The poor thing. Does she have MH problems?

Mental Health problems because she's vulnerable and a lovely person who fell for this d*ckhead's sweet talk?? He's the one with problems.

OP Its good she found out sooner rather than later. Do send her a message, it would help her to know the problem is with him and not her, she did nothing wrong except fall his sh*t.
You sound like a caring person and she will appreciate your kind words.

LegacyUser

Ok so I bit the bullet and sent her a message, was straight to the point. She appreciated being told but confessed that she was still seeing him and that she would take what I have said on board and see how it goes.

I'm happy I told her and sure you never know he might actully treat her better than he did me but at least she knows now that he is not a knight in shining armour by any means and to be careful.

I was afraid of being the messenger that gets shot but nope she was very mature about what I said and was glad I told her.

Thanks everyone for your advice