More family issues....

LegacyUser

I am hoping for some advice here thanks.

I come from a very large, very old irish rural family. I am female, 34 with one child and single and my brothers and sisters and all in their late 40s/early 50s. Our dad died when I was very young and apparently he beat the crap out of the older kids. I dont remember this and he never touched me, but I do remember growing up in a household with a very bitter mother, brothers and sisters who felt the world owed them a favour and who constantly acted the 'victim' in every part of their lives. They still do this.

Roll on many years and I don't talk to many of them anymore. Most of them are in relationships/married with grown children - my child is still quite young. They all either rent or are in social housing. I bought my own home 3yrs ago - it's an apartment and my mortgage is big and my childcare is big, but I work and do my best to provide for myself and my child. Not one of them seems happy for me - it's like they assume I'm loaded and they are poor...I think they begrudge every aspect of my life and the funny thing is, I struggle daily with money.

Here and there, there will be events - xmas, birthdays etc and I do my best to see those I still talk to, drop in xmas pressies, maybe stop by for a cuppa, buy a bday card etc. At these times, when I'm in their homes, all seems quite normal.

But not one of them has set foot in my home unless they want something. Not one of them has ever rang me to see how I am, if I need anything - particularly when my child was quite young and they knew I was alone. They offered me no support whatsoever. I constantly try to reach out to them, but never get anything in return. I dont mean material stuff, just a phone call, even a text message to see how myself or my child are doing.

Last year, I traced some relatives of ours from the states and they are in ireland next month, so I have invited them to my home...I have contacted 3 of my sisters and 2 brothers and none of them are interested in the slightest in meeting our first cousin. I don't even remember this woman - they do, as some of them grew up together in my grannys. My sister told me I was 'too nostalgic' and wondered what on earth I was doing wanting to meet someone I didn't even know...my brother said 'Sure what would I talk to her about...' etc.

I just don't get any of them. This is our mothers sisters eldest daughter who has very fond memories of all of them growing up...and yet I'm the only one who has any interest in meeting her. I must add that none of them are close to each other...I am the only one who keeps in contact with a few of them - none of them keep in contact with each other.

I have some wonderful friendships and honestly would not have gotten through some of the tougher times in my life without them. I have seen how the average irish family operates - I understand that not every family is close but at least any of the ones I know make an effort.

Mine are so selfish and I often wonder how I am so different from all of them. I 'want' a family and it appears they don't and that they are happy to ignore each other for the rest of their lives. On the one hand, I sometimes try to stay away from them because inevitably, when I try to make contact or raise a bit of enthusiasm about something, they look at me like I'm mad.

I'm quite upset here this morning as my cousin assumes she'll be meeting up with the older crowd when she arrives..and it will just be me and my child as none of the rest of them are interested....what will I do?