Alterboys

epgc3fyqirnbsx

It's a fairly religious time of year and whether you are religious or not, I think it is fair to say that most of us have been brought up in the Catholic faith and many of us will have been alter boys/girls

I for one used to love being an alter boy, when you were in 6th class you could get wind of a funeral or wedding that would be on a couple of days later and approach the headmaster with sincere solemnithy informing him that you would be expected to serve that mass for various reasons.
Then you got a few precious hours off from school, one of which would be spent at the church and at least two that would be spent getting there and back from there with a possible tip that would be spent on penny sweets, refresher bars and ice cream

Also got kicked off the later one night because we went serving, mid-week for some reason (I was liing in an east galway viallge where we would be incredibly bored) and one of the lads started 'feeling' me so he got a box and he boxed me back and the priest stopped mass and kicked us off the alter. There was only an audience of a few nuns but I was terrified that the Ma would find out cos she'd be only mortified. Didn't happen but said priest didnt like me after that and I never got to do first gifts or got to carry the thurible (incense smelled lovely)

Any alterboys/ladies out there? Let's not make this smutty either ha

RichieC

I was indeed an alter boy, had some fun too, I was alterboy on my sisters Christening.

Our Parish was lucky to not have a pedrophile in its ranks. We had a very nice priest.

Oranage2

Being church of ireland i nver got the chance to be an alter boy thus not getting off school a few hours early to be molested. sounds fun though!

Aoifey!

I wanted to be one but they already had to many so they skipped over my class in schhol. I was so disappointed.

strobe

Aoifey! wrote: »

I wanted to be one but they already had to many so they skipped over my class in schhol. I was so disappointed.

Do they have alter girls too?

Super-Rush

Andrea Panicky Wrestler wrote: »

It's a fairly religious time of year and whether you are religious or not, I think it is fair to say that most of us have been brought up in the Catholic faith and many of us will have been alter boys/girls

I for one used to love being an alter boy, when you were in 6th class you could get wind of a funeral or wedding that would be on a couple of days later and approach the headmaster with sincere solemnithy informing him that you would be expected to serve that mass for various reasons.
Then you got a few precious hours off from school, one of which would be spent at the church and at least two that would be spent getting there and back from there with a possible tip that would be spent on penny sweets, refresher bars and ice cream

Also got kicked off the later one night because we went serving, mid-week for some reason (I was liing in an east galway viallge where we would be incredibly bored) and one of the lads started 'feeling' me so he got a box and he boxed me back and the priest stopped mass and kicked us off the alter. There was only an audience of a few nuns but I was terrified that the Ma would find out cos she'd be only mortified. Didn't happen but said priest didnt like me after that and I never got to do first gifts or got to carry the thurible (incense smelled lovely)

Any alterboys/ladies out there? Let's not make this smutty either ha

I never served for a wedding but i made some nice money for funerals. We used to rob the inscense and light it back in school in the toilets.

The best part was seeing your name on the parish newsletter when it was your week. I always rang the bell as well.

Good times.

whiteboy

I was also an alter boy for a brief period of time, it wasn't much fun and thinking back it seems like such a pointless thing to do. It's almost like being an extra in a film, you're just part of the scene, the long boring scene that is mass..

mikemac

Andrea Panicky Wrestler wrote: »

and back from there with a possible tip that would be spent on penny sweets, refresher bars and ice cream

People in Galway are cheap!
In the 90's and me in primary school I did a lot of funerals and weddings and 15 to 20 punts was the going rate. Three alter boys so at least 15 each.

Our priest was a legend, realy nice man. Some fiend for missing Mass during the summer when Offaly were playing the hurling :pac:
If you knew Offaly were playing a big game you know he would be gone to the match.

The curate would have to cover for him

strobe wrote: »

Do they have alter girls too?

Yep, since the late 1990's

Little Acorn

I was an alter girl, and any mass I wasn't alter serving I was in the choir. Our priest was pure sound, a lovely man.
I didn't really like serving at the funerals though, because I got teary even at complete strangers funerals. Would try my best to hide it:o

epgc3fyqirnbsx

I served a funeral one time and there was four of us. The man who died was a local publican, very nice man and died young and it was quite sad. The priest came back with three envelopes with £20 each and we were beyond delighted, except yer mano who didn't get anything. So he rocks on out to the mans son and asks him why he got nothing and where his envelope was! Kids have no tact...

Aoifey!

strobe wrote: »

Do they have alter girls too?

Yep, my sister was one.

Killer Pigeon

Andrea Panicky Wrestler wrote: »

I for one used to love being an alter boy

Whatever floats your boat...

pragmatic1

Never was an alter boy but used to be jealous cause they would get off school. However, we did have a pedophile priest so maybe I got off lightly.

TeddyTedson

RichieC wrote: »

I was indeed an alter boy, had some fun too, I was alterboy on my sisters Christening.

Our Parish was lucky to not have a pedrophile in its ranks. We had a very nice priest.

It's only about 5% that are pedrophiles I hear:pac:
..But they get around.
Does Jewish rabbis or Muslim lmams rape the young in their society too or is this an exclusively Catholic/Christian thing?

RichieC

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Does Jewish rabbis or Muslim lmams rape the young in their society too or is this an exclusively Catholic/Christian thing?

I'm sure some do, but they aren't afforded protection from the bosses.

strokemyclover

[Alterboy Singing]
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes,
You might find
You get what you neeeeeeeed!

I went down to the demonstration,
to get my fair share of abuse,
Singing "We're gonna vent our frustration,
And if we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse!"
[/Alterboy Singing]

Standard Toaster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT9xuXQjxMM

You turned out quite well Slasher :pac:


Ah never did it myself. I was asked alright.....I realized at an early age Religion was a load of bollix and it wasn't for me.

Hank_Jones

Is it not altar boy?

I'm not trying to be a grammar nazi,
but the thread has at least 10 replies and I don't think anyone has spelt it right.

Standard Toaster

Ich bin ein Hank_Jones

b.o.m.d.a.s.

Standard Toaster wrote: »

Ich bin ein Hank_Jones

wie bitte?

Hank_Jones

Ich bin ein guter Speller

b.o.m.d.a.s.

ich sprechen sie kein deutsch, oda wat

pragmatic1

TeddyTedson wrote: »

It's only about 5% that are pedrophiles I hear:pac:
..But they get around.
Does Jewish rabbis or Muslim lmams rape the young in their society too or is this an exclusively Catholic/Christian thing?

Apparently more abuse went on in protestant denominations.

dazed+confused

Oranage2 wrote: »

Being church of ireland i nver got the chance to be an alter boy thus not getting off school a few hours early to be molested. sounds fun though!

Ditto, although in hindsight I think I preferred having to go to school on holy days and missing the cash associated with a communion for keeping my anus intact.