Chicken and egg

LegacyUser

I recently fell out with a really good friend because of my friendship with an ex-friend of theirs.
So, am I a bad friend for remaining friends with her former friend, or is she a bad friend for not liking me being friends with the former friend? Or both?
I'm a bit long in the tooth to be having clandestine meetings with people, so I'm assuming the lesser friendship will have to be sacrificed to save the other?

greenprincess

I think it goes back to what it was like when you were five, if your friend was fighting with someone it came down to, 'if your friends with me you cant be friends with them'. Where you friends with the ex for long? Because I am just out of a long relatonship but if my friends stayed friends with my ex I would accept it because he wa s friends with them for a fair few years

Princess I read it to mean as ex friend not ex partner.

OP my two best friends had a falling out and will not speak to each other, they have both declared the friendship over. They also both did their best to make sure I was not caught in the middle, and I am friends with both separately. While the cause of their falling out was a bit , I have even more respect for the care they took not to let it interfere with us.
I think you should explain to each of them that you don't want to be caught in the middle and you will be staying friends with both. Surely they must agree They can't really dictate who you are friends with, and unless their disagreement was about one doing something genuinely nasty to the other, then...

HugoDrax

You can be friends with who you like.

Firetrap

It's an awkward one but neither of them should be dictating who you are friends with. The disagreement is between the two of them and should have nothing to do with you. Be straight with both of them and tell them that you will continue to be friends with both parties

fifofum

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