Lies your parents told you....

Tayla

When you were a child did your parents ever tell you something that you only found out wasn't true when you were an adult?

I have to say I felt pretty stupid at the age of 21 when I realised that the 'element' in the kettle was not actually called an 'elephant' at all!!:o

orourkeda

That college was useful

ArtSmart

couple of things



1/ There is no Santa. lie

2/ Masticating makes you go blind. another lie

3/ Lies wont do you any harm. yet another

KeithM89_old

'Of course you were planned!'

Superbus

I'm special.

sandra06

my dad used to tell me if you want to catch a rabbit sprinkle some salt on its tail and when it turns round to lick it you be able to catch it ,years i done this

orourkeda

ArtSmart wrote: »

couple of things



1/ There is no Santa. lie

2/ Masticating makes you go blind. another lie

3/ Lies wont do you any harm. yet another

Surely they meant **** not chewing

ArtSmart

orourkeda wrote: »

Surely they meant **** not chewing

sigh.


you think i looked up the spelling of masticating for nothing?


i'm hurt.

mikemac

My best friend when I was young was my dog, I loved that dog.
He was a sheepdog, I'd play outside with Captain for hours and talk to him and tell him everything.

One day I came home from school and he was gone so I went :eek:

"Where's Captain, can't find him", as I freaked out(I'm easily stressed,see username)
"Oh he's gone away to live on a farm" says the Mammy

Never mind we lived on a farm already and he was the sheepdog :rolleyes:
Questioned this and was told he'd gone to live on my uncle's farm which I accepted though upset

Gulp
Seems he was knocked down and they wouldn't tell me

ArtSmart

feelingstressed wrote: »

My best friend when I was young was my dog, I loved that dog.
He was a sheepdog, I'd play outside with Captain for hours and talk to him and tell him everything.

One day I came home from school and he was gone so I went :eek:

"Where's Captain, can't find him", as I freaked out(I'm easily stressed,see username)
"Oh he's gone away to live on a farm" says the Mammy

Never mind we lived on a farm already and he was the sheepdog :rolleyes:
Questioned this and was told he'd gone to live on my uncle's farm which I accepted though upset

Gulp
Seems he was knocked down and they wouldn't tell me

well unless you checked your uncle's farm, you don't actually know that.

pure supposition, that is.

mikemac

No, was told a few years later
He got knocked down

ArtSmart

feelingstressed wrote: »

No, was told a few years later
He got knocked down

em....



fair nuff

orourkeda

ArtSmart wrote: »

em....



fair nuff

fair wuff

couldntthink

When I was a kid I found a golf ball in one of our fields and Dad told me it was a left over ball from when he was a golfer. I now know my dad doesn't even know the rules of golf.

Mint Sauce

Carrots will help you see in the dark. Just wish they could have done something useful and help me see during the day.

Crea

We had a number of pets who went to farms - which we only found out what it was a euphemism for in our 20's.

Donkey Oaty

Hard work never killed anyone.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

inb4"God exists".

AnonoBoy

"We'll be right back."

ArtSmart

AnonoBoy wrote: »

"We'll be right back."

he he. the winner so far.

damn it, i must be tired

Tayla

feelingstressed wrote: »

My best friend when I was young was my dog, I loved that dog.
He was a sheepdog, I'd play outside with Captain for hours and talk to him and tell him everything.

One day I came home from school and he was gone so I went :eek:

"Where's Captain, can't find him", as I freaked out(I'm easily stressed,see username)
"Oh he's gone away to live on a farm" says the Mammy

Never mind we lived on a farm already and he was the sheepdog :rolleyes:
Questioned this and was told he'd gone to live on my uncle's farm which I accepted though upset

Gulp
Seems he was knocked down and they wouldn't tell me

I had a dog I loved too and one day a guard (at least I think it was a guard unless dog wardens have uniforms??) anyway he turned up at the house saying some farmer complained about him or something,

anyway my mother told me to go up to my room and she let him take my dog away without even telling me so I could say goodbye and also i'm pretty sure that he wouldn't have been able to just take the dog anyway.

So basically she didn't let me say goodbye to the dog, then she made me tell anyone that asked where the dog was that he had died after eating poison......pretty traumatising and bizaare at the time.....thanks a lot ma

hogflem

Don't go having anything to do with the sort of girls that drink and smoke and throw themselves at fellas,they're no good for you at all.

vampire of kilmainham

hogflem wrote: »

Don't go having anything to do with the sort of girls that drink and smoke and throw themselves at fellas,they're no good for you at all.

depends what they are smoking when the throw themselves at ya:D

AskMyChocolate

Tayla wrote: »

When you were a child did your parents ever tell you something that you only found out wasn't true when you were an adult?

I have to say I felt pretty stupid at the age of 21 when I realised that the 'element' in the kettle was not actually called an 'elephant' at all!!:o

Not half as stupid as you're going to feel, when you find out that most people call a "kettle", a Zoo. :pac:

seafood dunleavy

That you had to get a man to put semen inside a woman to make a baby.Obviously God comes down from heaven and leaves the baby in the hospital.

AskMyChocolate

feelingstressed wrote: »

No, was told a few years later
He got knocked down

Outside the gates of your uncle's farm.

Tayla

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Not half as stupid as you're going to feel, when you find out that most people call a "kettle", a Zoo. :pac:

Well.......this is awkward

Lady von Purple

<Grew up on a farm> 'Our pig ran away. And we're having porkchops for dinner tonight.' 'Our cow ran away. Beef?'

DaveDaRave

That god wasn't real

zirazira

Tayla wrote: »

When you were a child did your parents ever tell you something that you only found out wasn't true when you were an adult?

I have to say I felt pretty stupid at the age of 21 when I realised that the 'element' in the kettle was not actually called an 'elephant' at all!!:o

you're so cute.

Chips Lovell

They told me my granny had gone to live on a farm.

AskMyChocolate

CheckRaiseIRL wrote: »

My dog that went to the farm was called trigger.

i wondered what really happened but never asked in case it ended ironically.

He had to be put down. He was becoming quite Feral.

Sorry.:o

AskMyChocolate

Me Da used to say,

"If I have to come up those stairs and I'm tellin' ya I'll cut the legs off ya"

And he only cut one of my legs off.

mattjack

I had lots of goldfish that went to live on farms..

kelle

I was told that a woman had to say a special prayer to God and he would place a baby in her tummy!

When I read Dear Linda a few years later, my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I read about a 15-year-old who was pregnant - I begged mum to tell me what the prayer was in case I said it by accident (which I assumed this girl did!). That's when I learned the truth.

I was one of those kids that never got "the talk". My mum thought I was very sensitive. Too sensitive to hear about birth or surgery :rolleyes:

So when I asked what a C-section was, I was told that it was when the baby is taken out of the bellybutton instead of the usual place. I asked what the usual place is. I was told "your bum". Cue one scared child who never wanted to have kids. Although when I found out the truth, I didn't feel much better.

Sanjuro

I was on holiday with my parents when I was about 6 or 7 years old. In the Canary Islands. Near the hotel we were staying in, there were hills. My parents told me the tale of a legendary Robin Hood-type thief named Rodriguez The Bandito. I was fascinated. One night, we were all in a bar and my parents called me over and introduced me to this man whom they told me was Rodriguez. I was speechless. There's even this photo of me shaking his hand, and I look stunned.

Last year, I was talking to my ma about the time and how I was amazed at the whole thing. Then my ma tells me 'here, that was just some builder we bought a round for to play along. There's no such person as Rodriguez the Bandito. We made the whole thing up.' I was devastated. I turned 30 last week.

pebbles21

My Father used to tell me that the Jingle from the Ice cream mans van meant he ran out of ice cream :mad:

Joeyjoejoe83

"mum, what age are you and dad?"
"well im 98 and dad is 99"

This came back to haunt me when my primary school teacher played the what age are your parents game....

BengaLover

When I got a slap they told me 'this hurts me more than it hurts you'..wtf?

ctrl-alt-delete

Joeyjoejoe83 wrote: »

"mum, what age are you and dad?"
"well im 98 and dad is 99"

This came back to haunt me when my primary school teacher played the what age are your parents game....

I was the same but the opposite end of the age spectrum, they told me they were both 18!

Seloth

My Dad told me once he was Santa Cluas,and then showed me his IFA card saying that mean he was santa.Didnt last long as the mother overheard :pac:

He also told me that the Little Red Hen lived in the abandoned Hamlet in one pa:pac:rt of hiss farm and she used to have the mouse and the Rouse down for tea and Jaffa cakes all the time but only if they behaved.And this Fern that lived around the farm was actually the Little Red Hen but she was always in a rush.

We had a goldfish....that turned black.My mam brought me to a pet shop where the shopkeep told me it was "common" for it to happen ><.

To stop me going mad with a disposable camera my mam told me each picture cost 10 euro..well pounds at the time to print :eek:

FatherLen

they told me i was the coolest guy in school

whiteonion

This is not technically a lie because my parents honestly believed in it but they said that I should eat fruit because it's good for me.

Now these days with the internet you can get online and see the nutrient tables of various fruits and realize that they contain mostly sugar and water which means that fruit is not very healthy.

Will I Amnt

whiteonion wrote: »

This is not technically a lie because my parents honestly believed in it but they said that I should eat fruit because it's good for me.

Now these days with the internet you can get online and see the nutrient tables of various fruits and realize that they contain mostly sugar and water which means that fruit is not very healthy.

Well what's the alternative?? Mars bars??

whiteonion

cambo2008 wrote: »

Well what's the alternative?? Mars bars??

Liver is a much better option.

gent9662

My Dad's condoms were for his sore thumbs! (When I asked him what was that thing in his drawer beside his bed)

Later that week, my holy joe Aunt was looking after us and she cut her finger in the kitchen whereupon I went and got her the "thing for sore thumbs".

Still have a laugh when I think about that.

westies4ever

my mum told me that if you put a screwdriver in your belly button and turned it around, your bum would fall off. I have no idea why.

gent9662

Another one was...The Steve Austin Action man I had was the devil incarnate and that if I didn't eat my dinner he would attack me with his magic eye.