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Is it love or just infatuation

  • 21-04-2011 10:06AM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    K going unreg for this one.

    I knew a guy going back years ago and haven't had contact with him at all really since. I developed a bit of a crush on him to the point where I actually think I was in love with him. Thing is I never really forgot about him and it's been playing on my mind a lot recently, where I actually feel I miss him. How can you miss someone you haven't seen in so long? If it was just a teenage crush wouldn't it be forgotten about by now? Is the missing maybe because this was a happier time in my life and that's what I miss? This is doing my head in and it's not healthy. Any advice please?


Comments

  • #2
    MitchKoobski
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,101 ✭✭✭MitchKoobski


    Sounds like infatuation OP, I miss girls that I had crushes on when I was younger but I know I wasn't in love with em.


    I always say that you have to actually be with someone or even hang around with them to be able to say you're in love with them.


  • #3
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,652 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Thanks for wrecking my buzz!
    Missinghim wrote: »
    If it was just a teenage crush wouldn't it be forgotten about by now?
    Not necessarily. Twenty years later, I look back at some of the girls I met in college rather fondly. In other cases its "What was I thinking?".

    It really does depend on the relationship though (as I try to justify myself and restore the buzz). If it is just someone that you fancied from afar that you had no ongoing relationship (I'm thinking of the girl in the red glasses, that I only ever really spoke to once for a few hours on the train), then you didn't really love them. However, if it is someone that you spent time with, did things together, talked, but never had a physical / formal romantic relationship with, then something closer to love is possible.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP why dont you contact him? what have you to lose? if you miss him so much contact him and see if he still feels the same. lifes to short to be wondering about things like this. maybe if he says no it will finally put you at ease


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Nah, i'm pretty sure he's not interested. I did give him the opportunity before, number etc and nothing. Plus we're both in relationships. And he'd probably think I was mental.


  • #6
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    I think you've probably idealised him a bit too. I know where you're coming from but realistically you're better off looking at it as a nice memory which belongs in the past. As you've said yourself, you're both in relationships and he never took your offer up when you left him your number.


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  • #7
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Missinghim wrote: »
    Nah, i'm pretty sure he's not interested. I did give him the opportunity before, number etc and nothing. Plus we're both in relationships. And he'd probably think I was mental.

    Which would you prefer / be able to live with ?

    1) Not contacting him and always wondering
    2) Contacting him and finding out one way or the other for one and for all ?

    To me, #2 has more possibilities for some company and some fun, even if it's only in the short-term.

    No-brainer to me.

    Mind you, all that advice would apply were it not for the "we're both in relationships"; even if he did have a passing interest in you, he's not going to throw that away based on a vague maybe.


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