Can't meet anyone I like

LegacyUser

It's a fundamental problem and it's my problem.
I'm not very good looking, I'm no prime catch per say and I'm not the one who has ended every contact I've had with women in the past but I haven't met anyone I really like.

About every month or two usually, I start seeing a girl, meeting up, kissing ,sleeping and chatting. But most of the time, one day I just can't be bothered responding to a txt or a call, then forget she even exists and before long it's another one out of my life and then I realise that in all the conversations we had I was distracted and not actually interested. This is a recurring theme, a few weeks later I'm back trying again with someone else.

I've no relationship experience. I do have experience of using someone, being a **** buddy and feeling a bit heart broken(once, but this is a girl that cannot be returned to) and then all of these 3 week things and a couple of drunk ONS a few years ago.

I'm cynical but I'm lonely. If I think I like a girl and might have a chance but figure I won't get any within 2 weeks, I won't even try. Which tells me I obviously don't really like her at all.

I've actually turned into a bit of a recluse, I'm quite good at having fun with people and I go to the gym and fulfill obligations to meet people.
In reality though I hate when people interrupt me from following my plan. I get really impatient when people waste time in general,in any process. I've somehow turned into an angry bastard. It's now apparent why my anger problems boss is a minted workaholic bachelor.

Anyway, on topic, I know what I want to find and it's a feeling but I can't feel it with anyone. I have all these vices sneaking into my life making it even harder to find I guess.

thecookingapple

Its quite apparent that you actually just do not like yourself, your not really impatient or uninterested in people, just yourself, until you resolve these feelings you can not possibly connect with another human being, i would stay away from ladies for now, get to know yourself, whats important to you and what you want from life, learn to like yourself and go forth from there, goals and plans are great but money wont keep you warm at night and being isolated and lonely longterm is a miserble existence.

Good Luck.

dixiefly

sunflower27 wrote: »

Sounds as if you are making hook-ups with women purely to get your leg over and choose women on the basis of whether they will put out early enough for you.

Is it any wonder that you then tire of these women when you have got what you want when there is no foundation there in terms of mutual interests, etc.

Do you ever wonder how these women are left feeling if you come on all strong and then just dump them by refusing to answer a text? (If you actually do that. it is not clear from your post if you do that or just think it).

My advice would be to take a good look at yourself and make changes in your life to improve your outlook. No woman can be expected to fix your loneliness problem. Also, you may have very unrealistic ideals of women. You may well want the perfect woman, but look at what you are offering them - an angry bastard (your words).

Take some time out to work on yourself and let things happen gradually. That, or keep repeating past mistakes and end up even more bitter.

Very well written response.

Next time try to develop a relationship gradually as stated above.