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I told him that i love him,but he asid,

  • 20-04-2011 9:49pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 33


    I told him that i love him,but he said,"recently, i have started going out with my gf".

    OK, "recently"... WTF of recently?

    what shall I do now? Just give up?


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 33 375200272


    Huh?

    You were seeing someone that has a girlfriend and didn't know?

    Bad sign, whatever the situation if he is seeing someone else.

    What a catch though if he kept the gf quiet and was seeing you both :rolleyes:

    yea, he is keeping his gf quiet,
    and no one knows he has a gf even his firends.
    If I known he has a gf,
    I won't chase after him```


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 830 ✭✭✭mrpink6789


    Op leave him be and ignore any approach by him. Count yourself lucky you dodged a bullet. Plenty more out there etc. He defo wasnt worth it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 934 ✭✭✭C-J


    You posted here a few days ago with a similar question (wording, ''' etc the same) so it must be still playing on your mind. My advice is forget about him, either he really does have a girlfriend or he's telling you he does because he's not interested.


  • Posts: 3,505 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Hey, could you fill us in on what happened since your last post?

    Last you said, if I remember correctly, you were unsure as to whether or not he had a girlfriend, and you had texted him about bringing his girlfriend out, and then you were freaked out because he said "great". You said you were going to take the advice of asking him if he had a gf or not.

    So did you ask him?

    It seems strange that two days ago you didn't know if he was interested, and now you've said you love him. It might again be a language issue, as saying love is something you would usually only do in an already established relationship. Has he actually led you on or do you think maybe it's been a bit of a mistake?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 33 375200272


    Hey, could you fill us in on what happened since your last post?

    Last you said, if I remember correctly, you were unsure as to whether or not he had a girlfriend, and you had texted him about bringing his girlfriend out, and then you were freaked out because he said "great". You said you were going to take the advice of asking him if he had a gf or not.

    So did you ask him?

    It seems strange that two days ago you didn't know if he was interested, and now you've said you love him. It might again be a language issue, as saying love is something you would usually only do in an already established relationship. Has he actually led you on or do you think maybe it's been a bit of a mistake?

    About my last post, you remembered correctly. And I talked with him.

    This time, I told him how I feel about him since I like him for a long time. Unrequited love though.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    There's nothing to think about.

    Cut contact with him and forget about him.

    He has a girlfriend. Whether he was using you or just not sure who he wanted more is irrelevant - he's chosen her not you. That's it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP a few things

    Well done on having the courage to approach this guy. I know it was hard for you.

    However, and this is a big one - telling him you love him really was a no no.
    Why?
    Well firstly, if a woman I was friends with or maybe even attracted to blurted out she loved me without me getting to really know her first, well I would (and have) run a mile... In my case while I still remember the girl fondly a part of me thinks she was a bit of a nutter, as we barely knew each other and she had a boyfriend in the RA - not a good combination.

    Please learn from this, try to take things a bit slower next time. Telling someone you have not been involved with for a while is a huge huge risk, I have never seen that work out actually - but that is just me and my friends I guess.

    Also I don't doubt for one moment that you are deeply deeply attracted to this fella, but without really getting to know him I have to ask you sincerely how can you really be in love with him?
    > I mean do you know what his childhood dreams were? Do you know if he is grumpy in the morning when he first wakes up or is it just when he is out of the bed? Do you know what his biggest fear is and what to say to make it all alright again?

    Now - don't let this knock back put you off trying again. Keep meeting different people, but don't let your emotions build so high before acting on them - otherwise if it fails for whatever reason you will hurt like hell. Still think you are a star for approaching him in the first place though - that takes guts and much better to have tried than to live with the regrets for years to come. Take your time - go have fun - but most importantly here - try not to act odd around him when you meet up again, I know it will be hard but trust me - there is logic behind what I am saying ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 33 375200272


    Taltos wrote: »
    OP a few things

    Well done on having the courage to approach this guy. I know it was hard for you.

    However, and this is a big one - telling him you love him really was a no no.
    Why?
    Well firstly, if a woman I was friends with or maybe even attracted to blurted out she loved me without me getting to really know her first, well I would (and have) run a mile... In my case while I still remember the girl fondly a part of me thinks she was a bit of a nutter, as we barely knew each other and she had a boyfriend in the RA - not a good combination.

    Please learn from this, try to take things a bit slower next time. Telling someone you have not been involved with for a while is a huge huge risk, I have never seen that work out actually - but that is just me and my friends I guess.

    Also I don't doubt for one moment that you are deeply deeply attracted to this fella, but without really getting to know him I have to ask you sincerely how can you really be in love with him?
    > I mean do you know what his childhood dreams were? Do you know if he is grumpy in the morning when he first wakes up or is it just when he is out of the bed? Do you know what his biggest fear is and what to say to make it all alright again?

    Now - don't let this knock back put you off trying again. Keep meeting different people, but don't let your emotions build so high before acting on them - otherwise if it fails for whatever reason you will hurt like hell. Still think you are a star for approaching him in the first place though - that takes guts and much better to have tried than to live with the regrets for years to come. Take your time - go have fun - but most importantly here - try not to act odd around him when you meet up again, I know it will be hard but trust me - there is logic behind what I am saying ;)


    Taltos, thank you so much.
    Read your post, I'm much better now,
    and I learned a lot.
    All of this are experience,
    I'm young and keeping making mistakes,
    This way, I can be mature and find someone who truly loves me.
    Maybe next time, I'll post a new problem with another guy. :P

    Actually, I have my final exams in college recently,
    I had a crush on him the first time I saw him,
    so more than a month,
    I was not myself, was keeping think about him.

    I'm so hurry to tell him my feeling,
    One of the reasons is whether he likes me or not,
    I can finally calm down and prepare for my exam.

    Another thing is that I'm not in Ireland for the summer,
    about 3 month, no facebook, no vodafone.
    He probably forget me, who knows ~


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    Yep, nothing to do but move on.

    I guess the bit where you said you were 200% sure he didnt have a gf was the problem then. :)

    Fair play to you for trying, you did the right thing to go for it. Now can move on.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 33 375200272


    fungun wrote: »
    Yep, nothing to do but move on.

    I guess the bit where you said you were 200% sure he didnt have a gf was the problem then. :)

    Fair play to you for trying, you did the right thing to go for it. Now can move on.

    the wrong and misleading information :(
    anyway, i learned from it.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Still think you are an absolute star for trying OP.
    So many people don't and regrets are one thing that one you have them are hard to shift. :)

    Well done - sorry it did not work out (this time) - but well done.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 130 ✭✭thecookingapple


    no words, just a simple virtual hug :) your time will come.


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