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Flawed

  • 20-04-2011 4:32am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I do not know why I am writing this at 5 a.m, just to let off steam I suppose.

    I am 24, I have no friends and never have. I have left the house once this year. I have no job and never have had one. I have a degree thats all. I have no social life and never have. I have no girlfriend and never have, never kissed or even touched another human being. I am anxious, house bound and depressed and always have been. Everything seems pointless really. I feel as though my life is one massive rollercoaster of emotions and anxiety, slowly passing by each torchorous step at a time.

    By reading the above you might be forgiven for thinking I am a complete sociopath but that is far from the truth. I crave connection with people so badly but I am completely unable to achieve that in any form. People confuse the **** out of me, make me anxious, make me feel inferior and I just don't even no where to start.

    I feel like I am a shell of a person just walking around slowly dying and with absolutely nothing to live for or look forward to. There really is no hope for me and there never was.


Comments

  • #2
    thecookingapple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 130 ✭✭thecookingapple


    Firstly i will not give your mental health advice on anxiety etc, you need to visit a Gp for him/her to give you medical advice.

    I will give you practical advice, do not in your mind complicate the the world and people, we all have the same fears, anxieties, hopes, dreams etc, most people are able to multi task these feelings most of the time and some like yourself have a harder way of dealing with them, this is not a weakness just something that develops, do not feel there is no hope and do not look at things in the short term, you are young and you have plenty of time to have a fantastic life.

    My advice would be and i know this can be tough to take the first step, but get in to a new routine, use this time in doors to make a rota of small steps.

    Monday......go to the park for a walk, see whats goings on around you, how other people interact

    Tuesday.... get on the train or bus, get used to the public

    wednesday..... go to a shopping center, go in to shops and browse, ask shop attendents for sizes in clothes, its the first step human contact.

    thursday....walk around where you come from, say hello to people in a friendly manner.

    friday.....spend some time at home and think about all the things you have seen and the people you have spoken with.

    saturday......join a gym, there are plenty of inexpensive council run ones if your stuck for cash,

    sunday......see how you feel.


    these are just ideas, take them how you would like, but one thing is for sure, sitting at home, alone and in despair will not change you, you want a better life? you need to go out and get one, we make people scary, they usually are not.

    Good luck.


  • #3
    thefeatheredcat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,282 ✭✭✭thefeatheredcat


    *hug* i can relate a bit to what you feel. are you getting treated for your depression?

    get outside and take walks to wherever - it doesn't matter where, it is just important that you get out and about and get exercise. After a while you'll see familiar faces in people that you can say hello or smile in time through the familiarity of them.

    get comfortable in yourself and find confidence through passions that you have where you can flourish and show your confidence.

    surround yourself with positive things, read positive things, look up positive quotes that make you feel better in yourself.

    you have lots to look forward to - but only if you truly want to change - like meeting new people, feeling new things, having new experiences, going to new places.
    I'll admit I find people confusing too, but often people that behave in a confusing manner that effects me negatively are not the type of people I like in my life. So find people that don't act confusing that add value to your life.

    look up google's "jolly good fellow" Chang-Meng, just reading a few things of his actually made me feel a lot lighter the other day when I was stuck in a negative mindset for a few days that did actually prevent me from falling back into depression.

    i don't know if any of that really helps, but I really hope there's some comfort in that and that things start looking brighter for you :)


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