Re-registering a BirthCert?

LegacyUser

have any of you had your children's birthcerts re-registered to include the fathers name? I am currently going through this process, and got a letter today from the Registers office...my child's dad will have gotten the same letter and I just know he's going to start trouble again.

I only found out recently that I could get my child's fathers name put onto her birthcert, once I had a court order referring to him as the 'other parent' or the 'father'. So I sent off the forms. And today, I got a letter from them saying I have to go into them and sign the register again - my daughters dad will have gotten the same letter, but he will ignore it and won't show up. That won't matter because they will still put his name on her birthcert. But tonight, I am full of anxiety and stress and I'm just waiting for him to knock or to ring, and start the name-calling and the abuse again.

I feel that my child deserves to have her dads name on her birthcert, not only for her, but for any children she may have. She deserves to know his name and other information about him.
The fact that I believe he's a horrible man who treated me really badly when i found out i was pregnant, and who hasn't seen his daughter since the day she was born, is not part of this as far as I am concerned.

Has anyone else done this and how did you deal with the fall-out, if that's the right expression to use?

metrovelvet

Do it before guardianship becomes automatic. The window is closing on this one.

If you think it will stir up interest in getting this difficult man to start making demands etc regarding the child, then let it go.

If he's just going to throw a temper tantrum and then move on then do it. Dont answer the door and if he calls hang up on him.

K-9

If he is going to be like that, just ignore it as best you can. It's his problem if he is like that, cut all contact as much as possible. If you feel scared ring the Guards and don't answer the phone.

metrovelvet wrote: »

Do it before guardianship becomes automatic. The window is closing on this one.

How is that relevant to the OP, the child is already born?

metrovelvet

K-9 wrote: »

If he is going to be like that, just ignore it as best you can. It's his problem if he is like that, cut all contact as much as possible. If you feel scared ring the Guards and don't answer the phone.



How is that relevant to the OP, the child is already born?

Because it may affect CHANGES to a birthcert after the legislation goes through [this mysterious legislation I keep hearing about.]

Orion

Having his name on the birth cert just identifies him as the father. It does not grant guardianship. It does not grant custody. It does not force maintenance. It does nothing but identify the father. I agree that the child should have a record of who her father is. If you do speak to him try to point this out. It may get rid of him. But as mentioned already if you are in fear then call the police. Better safe than sorry.

Orion

metrovelvet wrote: »

Because it may affect CHANGES to a birthcert after the legislation goes through [this mysterious legislation I keep hearing about.]

This is the legislation that has not even been drafted yet yes? Let's stick to actual existing documents rather than our government's version of Duke Nukem Forever.

K-9

metrovelvet wrote: »

Because it may affect CHANGES to a birthcert after the legislation goes through [this mysterious legislation I keep hearing about.]

Well can we stop referring to mysterious legislation and please deal with the current situation? The OP seems scared enough without adding doom mongering fears, it doesn't help the OP.

I'd reiterate to the OP, the father appears to have shown no interest during the pregnancy and since the birth, don't answer his calls, reply to texts etc. I'd advise putting the phone on silent and deleting texts from him, don't even read them. He hasn't been around and he doesn't deserve you worrying about him.

smelltheglove

Fair play to you OP for sticking to your guns. If you feel threatened by him call the gards straight away.

Just a query, this 'legislation' if it comes in does this mean you cannot include the dads name? My eldest girls dad isnt on her birth cert, something happened on the day and he didnt show, me being none the wiser I went ahead and got it, anyway I did say I would put his name on it but just wondering, I guess, is it a case sooner rather than later as I may not be able to after this new legislation?

Orion

There is no new legislation and it will be a long time before there is. Even if there is then there will be a period before it being activated when you can operate under the current legislation. No new legislation is going to prevent a father being named on a birth cert anyway.

Now if everyone doesn't mind let's leave discussion of unwritten legislation to another time and get back to the OP.

LegacyUser

Op here, thanks for getting back to me. i knew nothing about this legislation and to be honest, I'm only doing this for my childs sake. Last year, i did some family research of my own and came across a grandad on my mothers side, who had no father on his birthcert so my search ended there. Someone pointed out to me that this is what could happen to my own childs grandkids in years to come, which is why I decided to follow through and do this.

her dad left me after a 4yr relationship when I was pregnant and has never shown any interest in her from that day to this. I have a maintenance order, but I'm well aware that his name on her birthcert is completely irrelevant in so many ways, as we were never married.

It's not that he's violent - not physically anyway. But when we went to court for maintenance in the past, he began texting me abuse before the court dates...he's a bully however and of course, never followed through on any of his threats.

i did have a rethink about doing this because I really don't want to bring trouble to my door, but apart from the above reason for adding his name to the birthcert, I genuinely believe my daughter deserves to have his name on it.

I contacted the gro about this some years back, and was told that yes, it could be done, and a stamp would be put on her birthcert, beside his name stating 'By Court Order'. At that time, I thought no name was better than a name with that beside it (which would make it obvious to her that it was something that was forced by a Court).
They have done away with this now however...

No texts from him just yet, but maybe I was wrong, but thanks again.

metrovelvet

I totally agree with you on how important this is for legacy and future generations. They deserve to know who they are and where they came from.