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Will he ever trust me again?

  • 17-04-2011 6:38pm
    #1
    Indiego
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭


    ok, this is kind of complicated, but ill try my best to explain it, so first, just to tell you, im 15, so this scenario is probably a bit different.
    So im in the scouts, and last summer one of my best guy friends in the group asked me out, and we were going out for the guts of 10 months when everything went upside down,,, I was at a disco and i ended up meeting another lad, and im not really sure why i did it, i was really stressed at the time, and i had just had a fight with my friend, and it just kinda happened, and i felt aweful, and some of my boyfriends friends were there and they told him, and i had been planning to tell him the next day i saw him, in 3 days time, because i didnt want to tell him by text, and on valentines day we had fight by text because he had texted me asking me if it was true, and he broke up with me. for a while it was realllllyyy awkward whenever i saw him, but were after becoming friends again, and this weekend we kind of 'recconected' and the awkwardness is gone,and he said to me before that he still reallylikes me, but he doesnt think he can trust me... soooo the point of this long essay is, do you think there is anyway i can regain his trust? its slowly killing me inside because i know i could have prevented all this..


Comments

  • #2
    HugoDrax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭HugoDrax


    Indiego wrote: »
    ok, this is kind of complicated, but ill try my best to explain it, so first, just to tell you, im 15, so this scenario is probably a bit different.
    So im in the scouts, and last summer one of my best guy friends in the group asked me out, and we were going out for the guts of 10 months when everything went upside down,,, I was at a disco and i ended up meeting another lad, and im not really sure why i did it, i was really stressed at the time, and i had just had a fight with my friend, and it just kinda happened, and i felt aweful, and some of my boyfriends friends were there and they told him, and i had been planning to tell him the next day i saw him, in 3 days time, because i didnt want to tell him by text, and on valentines day we had fight by text because he had texted me asking me if it was true, and he broke up with me. for a while it was realllllyyy awkward whenever i saw him, but were after becoming friends again, and this weekend we kind of 'recconected' and the awkwardness is gone,and he said to me before that he still reallylikes me, but he doesnt think he can trust me... soooo the point of this long essay is, do you think there is anyway i can regain his trust? its slowly killing me inside because i know i could have prevented all this..

    You were attracted to this other guy at the disco so if you don't want to end up with other guys try avoiding those places.
    He will only be able to trust you again if in future you don't cheat with other guys.


  • #3
    Indiego
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Indiego


    HugoDrax wrote: »
    You were attracted to this other guy at the disco so if you don't want to end up with other guys try avoiding those places.
    He will only be able to trust you again if in future you don't cheat with other guys.

    i wasnt really even that attracted to the other guy, i just needed to like, do something to take my mine off everything..
    and i cant ever imagine myself doing anything like this again, i think i thought that deep down i could get away with it, i know different now...


  • #4
    HugoDrax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭HugoDrax


    Indiego wrote: »
    i wasnt really even that attracted to the other guy, i just needed to like, do something to take my mine off everything..
    and i cant ever imagine myself doing anything like this again, i think i thought that deep down i could get away with it, i know different now...

    Well maybe you don't really like this first guy either?
    There are probably lots of guys you like so maybe before you decide which one you want maybe you should go out with them all and have fun and then make up your mind later?


  • #5
    Indiego
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Indiego


    HugoDrax wrote: »
    Well maybe you don't really like this first guy either?
    There are probably lots of guys you like so maybe before you decide which one you want maybe you should go out with them all and have fun and then make up your mind later?

    i dont know... i do really like him.. it one of those 'you dont know what youve got till its gone' type situations... and im not really one of those girls that have a million and one lads willing to go out with them either..


  • #6
    HugoDrax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭HugoDrax


    Indiego wrote: »
    i dont know... i do really like him.. it one of those 'you dont know what youve got till its gone' type situations... and im not really one of those girls that have a million and one lads willing to go out with them either..

    Well then all I can say is don't cheat on him any more as long as you are together.


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  • #7
    Indiego
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Indiego


    HugoDrax wrote: »
    Well then all I can say is don't cheat on him any more as long as you are together.

    but we arent together anymore, thats the problem:/


  • #8
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    I had to read that three times before I could understand the story. It's written confusingly.

    Unfortunately from your point of view, there is nothing you can do. You broke the lad's trust by cheating on him. Worse still, he found out from his friends! Stress or no stress, you knew what you were doing and you'll have to live with the consequences of your actions. If you are very lucky, he will have a change of heart and learn to trust you again but don't bank on it. Breaking a person's trust is a big thing. Learn from this mistake and never do something like that again.


  • #9
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    HugoDrax wrote: »
    You were attracted to this other guy at the disco so if you don't want to end up with other guys try avoiding those places.
    He will only be able to trust you again if in future you don't cheat with other guys.

    Hi OP, I'd suggest that you completely ignore this. Being 15 and never going to a disco is not realistic. You also go to them to meet friends I'm sure. Be 15, go to discos, talk to other people, enjoy every bit of it. If you're single, meet boys if you want, if you're not, meet friends whether they're boys or girls.

    Sadly, it's unlikely that he'll trust you again. That's just my experience and I'm at an age where I have seen this happen to a lot of people. I think your best bet is to accept that and just learn a lesson from it. It might hurt to lose him as a boyfriend and you have my sympathies, but it's a bit of growth if you learn from it. No matter how much it hurts now, you're 15, you will do lots more with your life, some of it will hurt, more of it will be fantastic and what happened that night in the disco will become a distant memory of a mistake.

    Best of luck.


  • #10
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP - you are just 15 and at 15 huge changes happen & things change quickly.

    I would be a liitle less harsh than others. My 17 yo daughter has recenly gotten back with her guy after around a year. Whatever happened was forgotten about.

    If you remember back to 13 & 14 its like you were a different person and maybe something will happen.

    Shutting yourself off like a martyr and not going to disco's is unrealistic.

    At 15 your job is to make mistakes as part of growing up & hopefully they make you a better person.


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