Friend, Pregnancy and Illness

edellc

I've had this friend for nearly 10years bit of background she likes to think of herself as going against the grain, can be aloof and condescending but has a very black sense of humour, she has also been quite obese and suffered from a number of illness over the years

I have a baby which obviously has changed my life -for the better i might add, anyway I was always the one going in to meet my friend where it was convenient to her, listened to her bitch and moan about various people and illness and when she was house bound offered to come down to her and fetch essentials if required

Since having the baby I have been diagnosed with a life long illness the medication takes time to find the correct dose and one of the major side effects is that you put on weight and literally havent an ounce of energy in your body to do anything

I am very upset with my friend as I had continued to go out of my way to meet her up until January this year when i just hit a brick wall and my body just wouldnt do what i wanted it to do anymore since then i have not seen her she has not offered to come to my home for a tea and a catch up chat, the bus to mine passes right by her house yet she wont come to mine, she has not been in contact bar a few emails and i have explained to her my medical state she has dismissed my illness like it is nothing and has forwarded links to half baked ideas of how to cure it

Not that it makes a difference but she has recently lost a considerable amount of weight and i find that her personality has done a complete 360 too

I suppose i know the answer to my own question but i just want to see if anyone knows how to deal with this situation should i try talk to her again or should i just cut my losses and deal with the fact this friendship is now over and move on

seenitall

It's over, OP. Actions speak louder than words. Now when you need her, you can appreciate your "friend"'s true colours in all their glory. You have had not a friend, but a user. Things were thriving when it was take-take-take time, but now that it is give-back time, you don't see her for dust. Come to your own conclusion.

Take good care of yourself and your baby, now that you are ill you will more than ever need to have your wits about you to know how to surround yourself with people who are good for you, and lose the users. Life's too short.

Best wishes.

Ickle Magoo

edellc wrote: »

...when she was house bound offered to come down to her and fetch essentials if required

edellc wrote: »

...i have not seen her she has not offered to come to my home for a tea and a catch up chat, the bus to mine passes right by her house yet she wont come to mine, she has not been in contact bar a few emails

Hey OP,

These two sentences leaped out at me when I read your post. Even without your illness and needing the extra support and understanding she sounds like a lousy fair weather friend - add to the fact that you haven't been well and could really do with a friend prepared to go the extra yard that you had no problem doing in reverse and she starts looking like a really selfish, self-absorbed drama queen.

Cut your losses and spend what energy you have looking after yourself and your wee one and making some other, hopefully better, friends.

All the best.

greenprincess

she doesnt sound like much of a friend!! Your better off without her.

Best wishes

edellc

thanks so much for the replies I know you are all right and tbh thats what i was thinking too but didnt want to admit it to myself
I dont have a lot of friends and I suppose she was my closest female friend and i just thought she would be there for me like i was for her but suppose not
So going to listen to my heart and your comments and cut my losses feels like im mourning someone very sad but time will heal
thanks again to you all

tinkerbell

Cut your losses - you're better off without a "friend" like her.