Chuck Norris for president, would you vote for him?

Daegerty

I would. Out of fear.

Chris P. Bacon

I rather vote for David Norris.

Daegerty

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

I rather vote for David Norris.

But if someone tried to invade Ireland Chuck would be the man to deliver the roundhouse kicks

admiralofthefleet

i fucking hate all this crap chuck norris joke shit. its not funny

Bloody Nipples

Is this your first time on the internet?

Biggins

No, it would be a wasted vote - he wouldn't even qualify to run.

pragmatic1

Hes a right wing douchebag and the Chuck Norris jokes stopped being even remotley funny years ago. Bruce Lee would batter him.

Saruman

http://files.sharenator.com/His_own_country_100_Chuck_Norris_Facts-s500x415-27994-580.jpg

Sinfonia

2004 called, it wants its joke back

Sinfonia

Sinfonia wrote: »

2004 called, it wants its joke back

Incidentally, the 90s called, they want this joke back

wildefalcon

Aside from the fact he's not called Mary, and thus illegible, I'd vote for him.

Whos going to win? Chuck or SarKozy?

funk-you

Fuck you deputy Norris, fuck you.

-Funk

ejmaztec

Daegerty wrote: »

I would. Out of fear.

Even half of Jedward, with a flick of the hair, could put that old tool in intensive care.

argosy2006

Chuck Norris is a 71 year old pensioner,
this thread is 40 years to late :P

Sinfonia

wildefalcon wrote: »

Aside from the fact he's not called Mary, and thus illegible, I'd vote for him.

Yes, people named Mary ARE notoriously easy to read...

Warper

Chuck Norris jokes never get old:

"Chuck Norris has a website, its called the internet"

Chris P. Bacon

Warper wrote: »

Chuck Norris jokes never get old:

"Chuck Norris has a website, its called the internet"

Chuck Norris jokes got old 10 years ago,now they are just sad.

Warper

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

Chuck Norris jokes got old 10 years ago,now they are just sad.

Never

Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.



The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.



When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.



Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.



When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.




Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.



Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"



Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord



Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.



Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times



China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.



Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about



If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.



Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.



When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.



Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Sinfonia

Warper wrote: »

Chuck Norris jokes never get old:

"Chuck Norris has a website, its called the internet"

"Chuck Norris has an acting career, it's reasonably prolific, but of questionable quality"

Diabhal Beag

Chuck Norris jokes are made by the most unfunny people in society

Wolflikeme

Sinfonia wrote: »

Incidentally, the 90s called, they want this joke back

Go again. Try the 70's.

Saruman

I have a T-Shirt that is not a Chuck Norris T-Short but it's in similar vain. Kiefer Sutherland the next Chuck Norris? fans?

admiralofthefleet

Warper wrote: »

Never

Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.



The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.



When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.



Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.



When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.




Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.



Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"



Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord



Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.



Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times



China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.



Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about



If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.



Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.



When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.



Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

an hero

RichieC

He's a right wing religious crackpot.

Saruman

RichieC wrote: »

He's a right wing religious crackpot.

The best ones are

wildefalcon

RichieC wrote: »

He's a right wing religious crackpot.

Perfect for president in Ireland, then?

Freddie59

Daegerty wrote: »

I would. Out of fear.

Oh yeah! All the way!:D Quick - add a poll!

Freddie59

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

Chuck Norris jokes got old 10 years ago,now they are just sad.

Ah no way. I'm in the stitches reading them here!:D