He stood me up

LegacyUser

I have been single for a couple of years - happily single. I have been stung quite badly in love in the past and dating and relationshis is something that I dont go to any more. I am female.

A few weeks ago I met a guy at a concert. I thought what the heck, when he asked for my number. Thought nothing of it until he made contact. And we arranged a date for two weekends ago. On the morning of the night of the date he cancelled.

He made contact with me a few days later. And he asked me out again. I was slow to accept but he kept asking me, so i agreed earlier in the week to date. We made arrangements for last night. And for the first time in years I actually began to feel excited. I sent a message to him yesterday to remind him and spent the whole day getting ready. I ironed clothes and had a lovely pampering day with a bubble bath and candles. Off I went to the date and he stood me up. He was a no show. No call, no text. Absolutely nothing.

Why am I feeling so sh1te this morning?

mood

Count your self lucky. You found out what he is like before you got involved. just put it behind you.

MitchKoobski

Suppose you could at least ask for an explanation.

He had to cancel the original one for whatever reason, so why would he keep asking for another chance if he couldnt be arsed?

How long did you wait around for, and where was the date?

IrishEyes19

Run, OP, and keep running. I dont care what the situation is now. Once bitten twice shy applies here, and you gave him a second chance. A text, an email, a phone call, just one can clarify if someone doesnt think they can make it. He's let you down twice now. Count yourself lucky and move on.

LegacyUser

He orginally wanted me to meet him in his own town but thankfully I was assertive and said half way. We agreed on meeting in the bar of a hotel because it would have been quite, and all going well head off to a pub or for dinner.

I would not mind so much except for the fact that he was the one who was eager for a date and also I kept the night free to meet him.

I turned up for the agreed time, ordered a drink and thankfully had my ipod with me to keep me occupied, and waited for half an hour. I ended up heading of to a club on my own, and drank all around me. Something I haven't done in years. When I go out, I go out to have fun and that usually means not getting drunk but having a few drinks all the same to lighten up. Have the mother of all hangovers today.

LegacyUser

unfortunately that's the dating scene, don't take it personally - it happens to everyone at some stage...please don't let this damage your confidence, just cos some guy turned out to be a jerk, how were you to know...you didn't know him well, only a brief meeting so don't beat yourself up that you got 'sucked in' or fooled or whatever. Not everyone is like this, so don't be put off from trying again- like with everything in life, some people are d.cks

chin up, get back out there and you'll see the law of averages applies - sometimes u meet a good one, often u meet a bad one. keep at it

Miss Fluff

I wouldn't let this ar$ewipe put you off taking those first tentative steps back onto the dating scene again. You're lucky you didn't actually waste an entire evening of your time with him (or more!) so just put it down to a bad experience, it's natural to feel a little disappointed, but I wouldn't give it any more thought.

fghijkl

unfortunately that's the dating scene, don't take it personally - it happens to everyone at some stage..

Really? Jesus i'm single and have never heard it happen to anyone!! I honestly thought it was just one of those things that happened in films! I never thought anyone would be so pathetic as to actually do it to someone in real life!

Fair play for going to a club after OP, you're a stronger woman than i am

Christ if you don't want to meet someone you make an excuse, any excuse but standing them up is something only an utter scumbag would do!

Please don't let this put you off future dates Op, You were just incredibly unfortunate to find such a lowlife.

Suppose you could at least ask for an explanation.

I really wouldn't bother contacting him and asking for an explanation, you're only feeding into whatever twisted, warped ego he has. He's clearly devoid of any kind of moral compass at all.

MitchKoobski

fghijkl wrote: »

any excuse but standing them up is something only an utter scumbag would do!

You were just incredibly unfortunate to find such a lowlife.


I really wouldn't bother contacting him and asking for an explanation, you're only feeding into whatever twisted, warped ego he has. He's clearly devoid of any kind of moral compass at all.

Jesus christ its after turning into a feckin witchunt here on this guy!

I seriously doubt someone with a "twisted, warped ego" would contact her the morning of the original date to let her know he couldnt make it?

Nearly ever response says "before anything happened you found out exactly what he was like". No she didnt. She spoke to him at the concert and clearly got on well enough to give him her number when he asked for it.

For whatever reason he didn't show up OP, I wouldn't bother contacting him. Chalk it down to experience and get back out there!

Firetrap

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Jesus christ its after turning into a feckin witchunt here on this guy!

I seriously doubt someone with a "twisted, warped ego" would contact her the morning of the original date to let her know he couldnt make it?

Nearly ever response says "before anything happened you found out exactly what he was like". No she didnt. She spoke to him at the concert and clearly got on well enough to give him her number when he asked for it.

For whatever reason he didn't show up OP, I wouldn't bother contacting him. Chalk it down to experience and get back out there!

It was pretty low what he did. Especially seeing as the OP wasn't so sure about accepting the rearranged date but he kept asking her. All he had to do was send her a text and that would have been the end of that. Instead, the OP was led to believe she was going on a date with with him. Unless you think it's OK to leave a woman sitting by herself in a hotel bar, possibly feeling pretty self-conscious about it

OP, I don't blame you for feeling like shyte. Nobody likes to be made a fool of Better luck next time.

fghijkl

I seriously doubt someone with a "twisted, warped ego" would contact her the morning of the original date to let her know he couldnt make it?

yeah he rescheduled instead, wow what a considerate guy he is! oh but wait... then he just didn't bother his a*se showing up the next time when he knew she was sitting there on her own waiting for him..what a lovely guy :rolleyes:

Nearly ever response says "before anything happened you found out exactly what he was like". No she didnt. She spoke to him at the concert and clearly got on well enough to give him her number when he asked for it.

Well clearly she's found out he's an idiot who doesn't have the decency to let someone know he's not going to make it to a prearranged appointment, she's found out he has absolutely no word, he's undependable, he's a liar, he has no consideration for others, he's selfish. What more does she need to know?! Anyone with a shred of self respect knows these aren't the traits of someone you want in your life.

For whatever reason he didn't show up OP, I wouldn't bother contacting him. Chalk it down to experience and get back out there!

For whatever reason? The mind boggles...it takes 2 seconds to send a text. It's so disrespectful to knowingly leave someone sitting there waiting after going to the effort of getting ready, and going to another town. He's an ass, who does that to someone?

Emme

hestoodmeup wrote: »

He orginally wanted me to meet him in his own town but thankfully I was assertive and said half way. We agreed on meeting in the bar of a hotel because it would have been quite, and all going well head off to a pub or for dinner.

I would not mind so much except for the fact that he was the one who was eager for a date and also I kept the night free to meet him.

That's a bad sign but pretty common. Maybe he was hoping you'd meet him in his own town and stay the night after. He could also have a few jars if he didn't have to travel and you did. When that was off the cards he probably decided to bail out. forget him, don't call, text, nothing, no second chances. Welcome to the dating scene in Ireland.:rolleyes:

ando

That's so out of order. Nowadays with so many ways to communicate, there is no excuse. Leaving the poor girl sitting there???? I've never heard of this happening in real life, something dysfunctional bout this dude! Boggles the mind

bubbaloo

Until you said he suggested meeting in his town I was thinking he was probably married, but maybe not - inviting you to his town would not be a good idea if that was the case.
Anyway, I think you've had a lucky escape. You did nothing wrong - you have no reason to feel bad.
I'd be interested to know if you texted him yesterday and if he replied - he's a cowardly little mouse if he didn't!
Not all men are like him so don't let it put you off. Good luck.

Judes

You poor darling - I felt so angry reading what he did to you. There is no excuse - (well, we'll allow death, huh?). But seriously, you travelled to meet him half way, you sat there waiting - "if" he lost your number, lost his phone, lost his voice - then he or a friend could have phoned the hotel bar and left a message/spoken with you. What he did to you was just plain selfish. There really is no excuse to be so rude. Dating can be so crap at times. You deserve the best and you will get it. But if he makes contact with you and he's full of apologies - just tell him to go to hell. You're better than him.

MrMojoRising

Maybe he was in an accident?

mood

MrMojoRising wrote: »

Maybe he was in an accident?

Possibly but not very, very likely. When someone doesn't call, text or stands you up it is most likely because they couldn't be bothered and have no respect for you etc.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, the same thing happened to me last month only we met on a dating website so I have never actually clapped eyes on him.

he text and rang me a good few times to arrange the original date but the calcelled with 24hours to go. No biggie. So then I just let him off as I had a feeling he could be flaky and wasnt interested in that. Then a week later he text to see what was up and if I wanted to meet up. I reluctantely said yes. With 2 hours to go to date time he called, actually called, to say he was detained at work so would be 30minutes late. Grand. he said he would text me when he was leaving work. he did this. He then text me to say he was home, going to have a shower. I said just text me when you are leaving so I am not waiting at the place. Never heard anything after!!! lol!! WTF.

In my mind he was either sitting around with a gaggle of his friends seeing how far the could push the idiot girl (not far, I never contacted him back) or he was married and when he get home after work or whatever he realised he couldnt get back out to see me!

better off without him OP, if he is like this now you would always just be chasing after him...not worth it.

I'd pay money to see how this thread would have went if it was a guy who got stood up. The difference would be hilarious so I'm going to answer as if you're a guy.

Forget about it, he obviously doesn't like you.

seenitall

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd pay money to see how this thread would have went if it was a guy who got stood up. The difference would be hilarious so I'm going to answer as if you're a guy.

Forget about it, he obviously doesn't like you.

This is completly unfounded in reality, you would know that if you took the time to read the kind of advice that the regular posters on these threads (including myself) give to men and women alike.

Doesn't like her?? He liked her well enough to chase her for meeting up twice! Typical head-wrecking behaviour with a big dollop of rudeness on top. Guy's got issues. Good riddance to that.

Distorted

OP, cheer up, all the best people have good stories about being stood up. You will laugh at this in time and see him for the flaky guy he is. I was stood up once but the guy actually turned up on the date (he had asked for my phone number while working at the gym I used), we had arranged to go cycling. We chatted and then set off together. To be honest, it didn't seem to be going great, but I thought I'd just treat it like a training session. Anyway, we got to a long steep hill and he got gradually further ahead, only to disappear over the summit, never to be seen again.

So that was that I thought. Except about a year later a good friend of mine mentioned he had been drinking with him and he'd mentioned he knew me and would like to ask me out for a drink, and what did I think? Told him I couldn't be less interested! What on earth goes through their minds?!

ilovesleep

Thats weird. I got the exact same treatment from a guy i met online. He cancelled the orginal date, got back in touch and never showed up for the second. Wouldn't it be strange if it was the same fella @SameHereBoo.

@The op,
That man wants his ego massaged so please if he gets in touch with you don't contact him.

LegacyUser

ilovesleep wrote: »

Thats weird. I got the exact same treatment from a guy i met online. He cancelled the orginal date, got back in touch and never showed up for the second. Wouldn't it be strange if it was the same fella

I doubt it, unless he has moved from Irl to the USA or visa versa. Just shows you that there are arasholes in every country!!!