First Poem. Any thoughts?

mahoney1

Never one for the writing (since english teacher said I was the worst student ever taught) but thought i'd put this up to hear other peoples views.
Any thoughts greatly appreciated, good or bad.


autumns hold


the foggy morning greets us
darkness begins to fade
deafness of silence disrupted
as shops prepare to trade

fallen leaves get trodden flat
amid the morning race
death the hurried run too
when its life, they should chase

the daily grind has commenced
people work and ponder
who what where and why
is the grass greener yonder?

another day another dollar
the race is on again
the time to think of home comforts
and getting out of the rain

welcomed dinner consumed
eyes fixed on the fire
bad news from the weatherman
a frost to freeze a mire

a starry sky tells the tale
as bed calls once more
jack will be out tonight
he'll be waiting at the door

the fresh days are here again
when a crispness fills the air
the autumn breeze is biting numb
to the eye it brings a tear

the winter snow's not far away
when children jump with glee
not everyones that happy
they dream of sun and sea

embrace or be broken
enjoy this time of year
autumns hold can grip you tight
so wear the proper gear

f3qh5g0z6vc7ob

I quite like it, I think your english teacher was wrong.

mcrdotcom

Actually think it is a lovely poem. I think it captures autumn quite nicely!

Your English teacher could be write of course, although I would assume everyone she teaches is Stephen King :P

Good job! Keep writing if you enjoy it, because you are good.