Memory & Imagination

LegacyUser

Has anyone ever gone for counselling because of something you fear you did but you cant remember exactly doing? I'll be more specific, I fear I used to steal money from a place I worked but I have no specific memory of this just the sense of fear. My counsellor says this is not uncommon I just wanted to see if anyone has similar experiences?

Curry Addict

fear is part of our primal nature as human beings. it can surface in unusual ways.

Pebbles68

Misefresin wrote: »

Has anyone ever gone for counselling because of something you fear you did but you cant remember exactly doing? I'll be more specific, I fear I used to steal money from a place I worked but I have no specific memory of this just the sense of fear. My counsellor says this is not uncommon I just wanted to see if anyone has similar experiences?

Yes. It's called repression (I think) and the theory (as I understand it) is that you repress the memory of something that happened because you simply cannot deal with it. But my experience was different, during therapy the memory of something from years ago came back to me and i was able to see how it had been effecting me as an adult even though I had completely forgotten what had happened.

LegacyUser

Pebbles68 wrote: »

Yes. It's called repression (I think) and the theory (as I understand it) is that you repress the memory of something that happened because you simply cannot deal with it. But my experience was different, during therapy the memory of something from years ago came back to me and i was able to see how it had been effecting me as an adult even though I had completely forgotten what had happened.

Thanks for this. I spoke to my counsellor about regression and hypnotherapy and he's not a fan and thinks it can be too unreliable as if he asks a suggestive question I might remember that but having said that he was more taking in the context. I cant really remember anything specific it was more well it would have been so easy I hope I wasnt tempted as I would have needed the money at the time.

Pebbles68

Misefresin wrote: »

Thanks for this. I spoke to my counsellor about regression and hypnotherapy and he's not a fan and thinks it can be too unreliable as if he asks a suggestive question I might remember that but having said that he was more taking in the context. I cant really remember anything specific it was more well it would have been so easy I hope I wasnt tempted as I would have needed the money at the time.

It was actually a hypnotherapist I had the most success with. Ironically it was a counsellor I went to a few years earlier that constantly asked me leading questions. It was as if he decided he knew the answer and was trying to lead me to the same conclusion. I guess there can be bad therapists in any field of therapy.

LegacyUser

Pebbles68 wrote: »

It was actually a hypnotherapist I had the most success with. Ironically it was a counsellor I went to a few years earlier that constantly asked me leading questions. It was as if he decided he knew the answer and was trying to lead me to the same conclusion. I guess there can be bad therapists in any field of therapy.

Thanks again, and if you dont mind me asking how were you 100% it was a memory and not your imagination. I have been put of hynotherapy a bit because my counsellor who I have a lot of time for is so negative about using it to try and find memories as such, he a bit more like well listen if you dont remember it it didnt happen.

Pebbles68

Misefresin wrote: »

Thanks again, and if you dont mind me asking how were you 100% it was a memory and not your imagination. I have been put of hynotherapy a bit because my counsellor who I have a lot of time for is so negative about using it to try and find memories as such, he a bit more like well listen if you dont remember it it didnt happen.

I know for a fact the event was real. I know it happened and I spoke to my sister about it when i was younger(a teenager). I just hadn't thought about it in years and suddenly out of nowhere in the middle of the session it came flooding back. It was like someone flicked a switch and I was instantly able to understand how the event had shaped my feelings. The hypnotist said it was very common in his experience that a repressed memory wasn't necessarily a completely lost memory and people would often say something like "wow, I hadn't thought about that in years". Funny, because after the session those were my exact words.

Arpa

There is a big section of the psychotherapy world dedicated to this. Study of Freud and what's called "False Memory Syndrome". Interestingly, research found that whilst undergoing psychotherapy sessions some patients became convinced that something had happened in their past which never actually happened or couldn't possibly have happened. For example, abuse by a person who wasn't present at that stage of the persons life.

It was a case of the resolution coming before the problem. The psychotherapists thought they had all the answers and imposed leading questions on patients to induce fitting solutions.

In your case, in this I only suggest and don't know enough about your case but it seems that you may be possibly concocting something to fill a role, otherwise why would it bother you? If you stole money, it is something you would remember as it is not something that would usually be stored in the short term memory and therefore not subject to loss. It would be a long term memory incident and because of its nature, i.e. a crime, would consistently be re-entered into the short term memory. If however you only think you stole money and are not sure, then it is irrelevant. I don't see why your counselling sessions would hinge on something like this anyway. It is not as though you will have a breakthrough whether it happened or not. Lay it aside as a triviality and move on to more important matters with your counsellor.

I know that this isn't precisely what you are looking for, but a look into this research on 'False Memory Syndrome', would yield some interesting thoughts for you I propose. One thing I always remind people is that counsellors and doctors only know what they learn in books and can only apply what they know according to what symptoms with which you present. Apart from that you know yourself best and they can only offer guidance helping you achieve a healthier state.