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Lost faith

  • 14-04-2011 10:50pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I've lost my boyfriend of 5years and now my best friend of 8 years.
    Feel like such a failure, having invested so much time and energy into relationships where the other person just bails out.
    I'm quite independant, but just disheartened that the people I had the most trust and faith in, have left/are leaving my life without so much as a backwards glance.
    I'm seriously doubting my judgement of peoples' character- my own included.
    How do you KNOW when a relationship is going to last? Or is it just a mixture of pot luck and hard work?


Comments

  • #2
    Judes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 776 ✭✭✭Judes


    I believe that you have friends/relationships for all your life - and for occasions in your life. What I mean is some people will be in your life always - be it at the forefront on an every day basis or background, where you can pick up a phone having not spoken for months and catch up on everything - they will always be there for you and you for them.

    Other friends come into your life at a certain point - and some turn into serious relationships/friendships - but they are only for that time. Either way, they all become part of your memories and help create the person you are now and will become.

    I've had some "disastrous" relationships and friendships where I felt totally betrayed. I may have cried at the time or wondered about my judgement - and I've had a lot of nicknames in the past including "Bridget" aka Bridget Jones and "Ally" aka Ally McBeal. But some of my experiences/stories create fun dinner party conversation, you will laugh about these things in time. I am the first person my friends and family come to for advice or a moan - so I can't be that bad of a judge of character. And my friends and family have been so supportive to me for years throughout my ups and downs. But when I feel betrayed - by friend, or lover - then I let them go from my life - if you can't trust somebody - why would you want them in your life.

    Don't beat yourself up about it - have faith in yourself. You did share your life with people for 5 and 8 years - both long relationships. But move on - take up a new hobby, do some voluntary work - get out there and meet more people. Everyone doesn't have to be your new best friend - but they can be fun friends and aquaintences. Life really is a roller coaster - and partners - I think it's easier to win the lottery then to choose the correct one. But when you do get the right one - you'll know!!! Take care.


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