Post emergency - how do I talk to the family?

LegacyUser

Going unreg to post this.

Here is the long and short of it. There was an accident and I ended up using first aid/cpr on a person till the ambulance arrived. The good news is they lived. I am ever grateful that they lived.

I am having issues since it happened, flashbacks etc. I am also worried about all the people in my life that something could happen to them. I've never seen a person in that situation, and it really shook me. I have also been going over and over in my head the little things that I could have done differently.

The issue I am having is that the persons family have been trying to get in touch with me. I really really don't know what to say to them. It isn't that I don't want to talk to them but I have no clue what to say.

howdoitalktothem

howdoitalktothem wrote: »

The issue I am having is that the persons family have been trying to get in touch with me. I really really don't know what to say to them. It isn't that I don't want to talk to them but I have no clue what to say.

In this situation it's not a matter of what you should say to them - I would guarantee they want to contact you to have something to say to you. They almost certainly want to thank you.
Personally I would let them contact you and just be prepared to listen and leave it at that.

ElleEm

bluewolf wrote: »

In this situation it's not a matter of what you should say to them - I would guarantee they want to contact you to have something to say to you. They almost certainly want to thank you.
Personally I would let them contact you and just be prepared to listen and leave it at that.

+1

They most likely want to express their gratitude towards you.
Accept it. Most people would panic in that sort of situation.
Well done for what you did x

dilallio

++1

You went through a very traumatic experience which accounts for your feelings now. You are to be highly commended. It's one thing to do a first-aid course and / or be aware of the theory behind CPR. It's another thing altogether to jump in and actually do it.

I've been in the same situation twice, and the first time I froze up and couldn't act until another bystander jumped in and began mouth to mouth, and then I helped. Unfortunately in my case, both recuscitation attempts were unsuccessfull.

I'm sure that the family only want to express their gratitude, and maybe listening to them will help you deal with the experience.

cantdecide

I was in a bad motorbike accident recently. My friend was traveling behind on his bike and he came to my aid. Lots of my family contacted my mate to touch base and thank him for his efforts. I can assure you, you won't have to worry. Just let one word borrow another. They already think the sun shines out of your ***. I'm sure this is just a reaction to the trauma you suffered. I think it will help you heal.

encore1

wow!

i actually got butterflies in my tummy reading that OP!

fair play to you x 1000000!!!

as a previous poster said - it's one thing knowing the basics of cpr etc, but to actually man (or woman) up and jump in when the situation is right there in front of you is very very commendable and although it was a traumatic experience for you (as it would be for most people, i'm sure!), you should be extremely proud of what you did - not doubt the family feel forever indebted to you and i honestly couldn't imagine them wanting to talk to you for any other reason than to tell you how brillo you are to them!

you're great!!!

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I've recently been in a very similar situation as yourself, and it really isn't like anything i could have imagined before. What your going through at the moment is very normal, flashbacks and sleepless nights are par for the course after bearing witness to trauma. All I can tell you is what i've been told myself-talk about it. Don't bottle it up inside because it really won't help. If you have a nightmare or flashbacks confide in a friend, even if you think that your repeating yourself, because the more you can verbalise what your going through the easier you can deal with it.

It does get better, and you will learn to deal with it. In my case its been nearly 2 months and its not constantly at the forefront of my mind all day, and i've stopped waking at night in a sweat. It does cross my mind when reminded by somethign but its certainly not as graphic as it was.

As for the persons family, let them talk to you, all they need to do is tell you how incredibly thankful they are for you being there. If it had been someone else who could not do CPR they might be in a very different place right now. All they want to tell you is how grateful they are, let them.

Best of luck OP, it will get easier!

howdoitalktothem

howdoitalktothem wrote: »

Going unreg to post this.

Here is the long and short of it. There was an accident and I ended up using first aid/cpr on a person till the ambulance arrived. The good news is they lived. I am ever grateful that they lived.

I am having issues since it happened, flashbacks etc. I am also worried about all the people in my life that something could happen to them. I've never seen a person in that situation, and it really shook me. I have also been going over and over in my head the little things that I could have done differently.

The issue I am having is that the persons family have been trying to get in touch with me. I really really don't know what to say to them. It isn't that I don't want to talk to them but I have no clue what to say.

Maybe you should try to talk to someone about your flashbacks and your worries. You've been in a traumatic situation and it's understandable that it'll cause a shock to your system. I think it's better to talk about how you're feeling rather than waiting to see if things will settle down by themselves.

It's up to you to decide if you'd like to speak to the person's family. I have a feeling you don't really believe you deserve credit for what happened (where you mention the things you could have done differently). But I think you DO deserve credit. Someone was in trouble, and you didn't hang back or walk away - you stayed with them and did your best for them. So you did something good and courageous, and you really deserve to give yourself credit for that.

All the best.

pickarooney

At the risk of speaking out of turn, Makikomi described a similar incident and reaction on a post in AH the other day. He's usually very approachable, maybe you could talk to one another?

arybvtcw0eolkf

pickarooney wrote: »

At the risk of speaking out of turn, Makikomi described a similar incident and reaction on a post in AH the other day. He's usually very approachable, maybe you could talk to one another?

The OP initiated contact, thanks that was very helpful of you.

deisemum

OP well done.

Whenever I've done my occupational first aid courses the tutors have always told us that if we're ever in a situation like you were irrespective of the outcome and if we're having flashbacks or going over the what ifs that we can speak with them or with the ambulance crew who will go through things with us.

Well done again.

bridal

That must have been a very traumatic experience for you, like OP have said they probably just want to say thank you for saving this persons life, im sure when you meet them the words will flow, prob more them than you good luck and well done

tbh

Something very similar happened to me, except the person sadly died later in hospital. Initially I didn't think it had affected me, but then I started getting the same symptoms you describe, flashbacks, cold sweats, second guessing myself, shaking etc. The persons family also wanted to talk to me and I DID NOT WANT to talk to them, I don't know why, I just really didn't. The company the poor man worked for insisted that I talked to a councillor and although I resisted, eventually I did and I'm glad I did. Also did talk to the family - they just wanted to know what happened. The company he worked for told me that they got great comfort from that fact that I had held his hand as we waited for the ambulance and wanted to thank me for giving them the chance to say goodbye. Funny, I thought it was behind me but I have to admit, the more I type here, the more panicky I feel - weird one. Anyway - my advice would be to talk to your GP and maybe see if there are services than can help. If you fancy a chat, just let me know.

Netanya

pickarooney wrote: »

At the risk of speaking out of turn, Makikomi described a similar incident and reaction on a post in AH the other day. He's usually very approachable, maybe you could talk to one another?

Hi all,

Thank you to pickarooney for putting me in touch with Makikomi. And thank you to Makikomi for reassuring me.

I know I went unreg to post at first but now that time has passed, I feel a lot better about what happened and I don't feel the need to.

I wanted to update those who replied on the outcome.

The lady and her family were so nice and made me feel very welcome. I am so grateful to them for making me feel practically like part of the family when I went to meet them.

The lady is coming out of hospital this week and her son who was born the first day this all happened shall not be staying in hospital much longer either.

I want to ask everyone who reads this to please please go out and learn cpr. It's scary but know it could mean saving someone you love or a complete stranger who has children or a partner who loves them.

As her mother said a part of my life will live on in the lady and her child. What greater gift can you think of.