Should I just cut my sister out of my life

Cerocco

I fell out with my sister a little over 2 years ago now. Harsh words were said in the heat of the moment. After they were out I regretted it but decided to leave it a few days B4 apologising. I was in the wrong, when I apologised she accepted it but has been really stand offish ever since. Luckily for me she lives in America with her husband and kids. I used to visit once a year but needless to say that has stopped. My family isn't particularly close. My father died 10 yrs ago and my Mom just doesn't want to get involved.

She came home for a long weekend and just went back to the states today. On saturday she was Ok with me but last night she was just nasty, narky comments and making me feel small. I suffer from depression and am doing well at the moment but last night I just cried. I get really stressed when she does come home or even if i know there is going to be a skype family catch up. To cut her off completely would be a really hostile move but to be honest I just cant cope with this and the complete feeling of sadness and worthlessness she leaves me with. We are the kind of family that brushes things under the carpet so cant talk to them

What to do!!!!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

mano79

Change the habit of a lifetime and start talking!! There is nothing for it only to talk to her about how she makes you feel. Tell her straight up that you regret your falling out in the past and that you WOULD like to keep in touch as a family. Gently point out how she makes you feel when she makes her comments during visits. She might be shocked to realise the impact they are making on you.

Once everything is out in the open and she knows how you feel you should try and arrange to visit her as it will keep things moving and show that you are interested in keeping up contact and werent just calling for an argument.

DO NOT loose contact if you can at all. Your sister cannot be replaced and every family has its differences. As you mention your mother is out of the equation so you need all the family you can get!!

looksee

What mano said. Try and think of how things look to her. You were at fault originally but delayed in apologising. She accepted your apology but probably felt a bit uncomfortable about something that was said. You then didn't keep in touch and stopped visiting.

She came from the states for a long weekend! Se was probably more exhausted than stand offish, presumably she didn't know you were suffering from depression and you might have come over as a bit 'off'.

Just get in touch, make the effort to talk and mend fences. If she brushes you off, well then you might have to reconsider, but at the moment she doesn't really know how you feel.

I am a friend

My last conversation with my only sibling was a row and they passed away unexpectantly 2 months ago. I wish I had your choices ...

Life is short and can end in the blink of an eye. Don't end up in my shoes

thecookingapple

In the long run it will cause you more pain if you do, be patient and most people come around. good luck.

greenprincess

I thnk you should try to make things right between ye. I think you will regret it other wise. I know I have said some truely horrible things to my sisters and they've said some pretty harsh things to but I could never not talk to them!

Firetrap

I am a friend wrote: »

My last conversation with my only sibling was a row and they passed away unexpectantly 2 months ago. I wish I had your choices ...

Life is short and can end in the blink of an eye. Don't end up in my shoes

I think this sums the issue up really (sorry to hear this happened to you, by the way). It's one thing to talk about cutting your sister out of your life but ask yourself how would you feel if you got a phone call in an hour's time saying she'd just died in an accident?

It probably didn't help that you didn't apologise for days after the row and that she's living away from you is ensuring that she's able to keep the row going. Have you ever had a proper chat about what happened? How sincere was your apology at the time? Did you say something really horrible to her? I'm wondering did she feel the apology was a bit insincere. It's not helping either that she's away in the United States so she's got room to stew; you're only really getting to talk to her properly when she's home.

Perhaps the pair of you might not ever get back to the way you were but cutting her out would be a last resort in my book. I think you should at least try to extend the hand of friendship again. If she refutes you, well that's her problem, not yours. Your conscience is clear.

HugoDrax

OP one day you are going to die and the clock is ticking.
Everyone you know and love one day will be dead and if you are last one standing life is going to get very lonely indeed.

BUT your sister is not dead. You are not dead.

You both are alive and all you have to do is talk to your sister and mend things right now.

Do it and however depressed you are now, you will avoid a living death if you bring your sister back into your life.