Falling in love with an american

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Ill try make this short and sweet! So in November I met a girl in a pub over here when she was doing a bit of traveling, we spoke and kissed and really hit it off. She left her number in my phone so I found her on Facebook and we have been pretty much talking non stop since. Its as close to "love at first sight" as you can get! The problem is she lives in California and I live in Dublin!

Im 25 by the way, have already had 2 quite long and serious relationships, both the wrong girls, this one I know is different though, 3rd time lucky eh?

Im not jumping the gun here or anything but I just was looking for advice from people who found themselves in a similar situation, Im not into long distance relationships, its too frustrating but at the same time, this girl, to me, is one in a million! Are there any stories or situations like mine working? Is it essentially one person has to bite the bullet, pack up, and begin a new life and that is the sacrifice that has to be made? I suppose I'm looking for advice as to how this sort of thing works!?

I'm sort of lucky in the way that im coming to the end of my education next year and there is a possible route to allow me work over there. Likewise she is almost finished an accounting degree (next year) and I assume there may be opportunities for her here too. Like I said, its only been a few short months, Im not jumping the gun but at the same time, things are going quite well so its no harm to explore future options right??

All stories/advice appreciated!

LegacyUser

have you seen her since you first met her, or have you been communicating solely through facebook?
I'd say try and meet her in real life before deciding to move your life over to be with her, you might not have the same chemistry once you meet,
best of luck

Wisco

Perhaps you should try spending more time together to make sure you still feel the same way. I think you're eligible for the J1 visa and there's a new 12 month working visa for the US as well now (I think). But moving country can be a lot more stressful than you think- there's the constant stress of getting/renewing visa, costs to travel home for family events, unexpected differences in lifestyle, homesickness, etc.
I'd say the best thing to do is try things out for a couple months before you try to move full time. As far as I know, getting permanent residency in the US can be pretty tough (and expensive).

MiniSquish

Your post sounds so similar to whats happening with a friend of mine at the moment too. He met a Canadian girl in a pub and like you is planning on going over having only met her once and kissed her. Like I told him, if I were you I'd either talk to her for a bit longer before considering changing my whole life for them or if I had the money I'd consider going over and visiting her first!

LegacyUser

Hi guys, thanks for the replies,

I tried to stress in my first post that I'm not just going to move over there, far from it in fact. After all, I have over a year of college left and so does she. Unfortunately Ive just met her the once, and its been facebook and phone ever since!

Of course before moving over I would go visit for a while etc etc, I was just interested to hear from people who have done it and their experience of it! Im not going to pack up and run over just yet!

teaholic

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2055912714

Check out that thread... (hope it worked!)

Its a bit of a read but might help you?

[-0-]

Well since you asked...I fell in love with an American who is moving back there in 4 weeks. I've decided to follow suit and have convinced work to transfer me to their office which is about a 1.5 hour flight from her, so we will be doing the long distance thing until she moves up to where I am when she finishes her last 2 semesters at college. I've feck all to stay for in this country as lots of my mates have already left the country because of the state it is in.

The way I see it... it's better to give it a go than to always wonder what might have been. I love this girl more than I have ever loved anyone, and I was even engaged to be married before so I've been in serious relationships, but this is different, in so many ways. We're going to get engaged soon, once I know we can cope with the long distance thing for a while, and then get married within 3 years from now.

All the best, whatever you decide to do.

LegacyUser

I know how uncertain you must be feeling because I was put in the exact same situation! I am from Australia and lived in Dublin for 5 months earlier this year and fell in love with an irish boy. I left Dublin, backpacked around Europe and he came and visited me whenever he could get time off work. We had a really rough summer where I doubted whether it could work, as I knew I was heading back home (and to a disfunctional old relationship I wasn't sure had run its course yet). Yet, literally as soon as I touched down in Australia I felt sick at the thought that I had possibly ruined any hope of a relationship with the most wonderful man ever. So.... a month later I flew back to Dublin for 2 weeks. And 4 months after that, Dublin boy is here in Australia on a two year working visa while I finish up university. And then maybe we'll give London a go. ANYWAY, what I am trying to say is that it CAN and it DOES work, it just takes a lot of faith, and a lot of courage (but that's what life is all about eh?) I say go for it. Move over after college. If it works out then brilliant (and a great story for the grandkids) and if it doesn't, then you've just experienced the exciting, frightening, exhilirating ride that is life! You've had an adventure, you've taken a chance, and you've given it all you've got. So... good luck, may the force be with you, and have fun!