Public farting in the 21st Century

cosmicfart

Is this still exceptable in todays modern society? Spontaneous combustion, if we take heed of the tales of South Park, means that it is or else we would all implode resulting in zombie non farting type people, who dont fart, and therefore cant laugh or enjoy their food properly. I saw Ben Hur again there over christmas and belching was deemed the norm back in hollywood bibical times so I guess whats good for the soul back can only mean smelly holes in the 21st century are a good thing, something for all to enjoy?

Captain Darling

Probably more acceptable in the company of good friends. Wouldnt go cracking one off at the board meeting however or on a first date.

amacachi

Captain Darling wrote: »

Wouldnt go cracking one off at the board meeting however or on a first date.

If she was hot enough I doubt I could stop myself.

cosmicfart

Captain Darling wrote: »

Wouldnt go cracking one off at the board meeting however or on a first date.

not even to 'break the ice' ?

Sergeant

A well-timed fart joke is always hilarious. Where the delivery of the joke is also the punchline.

Captain Darling

cosmicfart wrote: »

not even to 'break the ice' ?

Shart your pants and you're in big trouble. Apparently skiddy jocks are a turn off.

Daegerty

Why would it be any more or less acceptable than it was 100 years ago?

Its not like they have updated the design of the human body so that they don't need to fart as much anymore

bryaner

A lad in my local who drinks a lot of Guinness will just flap his cheeks and then just say "ah jaysus sorry lad", he sends people scattering for a smoke or to the jacks.

Fcuking red rotten..

Sergeant

Better out than the gable end of a house.

cosmicfart

Daegerty wrote: »

Why would it be any more or less acceptable than it was 100 years ago?

Its not like they have updated the design of the human body so that they don't need to fart as much anymore

Interesting point you make. looking at big fat Americans today on utube and ones feels that lack of farting is having an adverse affect on modern society, we need to staring farting more and now. beans are a good place to start in the AM!

Captain Darling

There is a serious dichotomy in the manner it is delivered.

The two things that have to be considered:

1. Loudness

2. Smell.

The delivery and appreciation of a good fart by others is dependent on noise to smell ratio. The funnier the noise the less the fart should smell.

To invert this theory, the smellier the fart the least funny the noise. Nobody likes a smelly fcuker, however a good trumpet of a fart usually is met with mirth in the right company. Its all about the correct ratio of noise to smell. I feel about 7:1 should be just right and can be applied to both ends of the scale.

Stop a while and reflect on this, as i feel this is an important issue.

Sergeant

Captain Darling wrote: »

Stop a while and reflect on this, as i feel this is an important issue.

By gosh old bean, you're right! My monocle dropped out and landed in my brandy snifter, such was my surprise at the uncovering of this new theory.

W.Shakes-Beer

Ah sure who doesn't like letting out a fetid, Guinness hazed, "FWAAAAAARP" toned air biscuit.

Captain Darling

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

Ah sure who doesn't like letting out a fetid, Guinness hazed, "FWAAAAAARP" toned air biscuit.

I actually think farting in public is less acceptable since the smoking ban. At least back then the smell of smoke used to over ride the smell of fart.

I remember it came in around Paddys Day back in the early noughties. I walked into the pub around nine in the evening and the pong of fcuking guinness fart was fcuking rotten.

baldbear

My gf farts in her sleep. The dirty bitch.:p

CL32

baldbear wrote: »

My gf farts in her sleep. The dirty bitch.:p

High resolution thermal imaging pics or GTFO.

baldbear

CL32 wrote: »

High resolution thermal imaging pics or GTFO.

I'll try and get some audio for you! I notice alot in bookies men fart really loud and don't give a sh*ite, fair play to them!

Son Of A Vidic

Captain Darling wrote: »

I walked into the pub around nine in the evening and the pong of fcuking guinness fart was fcuking rotten.

Don't knock it till you've tried it. It's a great way of getting rid of fcukwits from a pub.

kfallon

Nothing like letting off a big loud fart, tis like the guy playing the trumpet to announce the cavalry is on the way

fakearms123

I'm sorry but there's nothing better than walking down the road and letting one rip and being instantly impressed with the distance you've carried your fart with each pressure filled step then looking back at the starting point with a cheeky grin :pac:

kfallon

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm sorry but there's nothing better than walking down the road and letting one rip and being instantly impressed with the distance you've carried your fart with each pressure filled step then looking back at the starting point with a cheeky grin :pac:

Or, for comedic effect, instead of doing one big loud fart you keep squeezing your cheeks in and out to turn it into 7 or 8 mini loud farts!

Scanlas The 2nd

Captain Darling wrote: »

I actually think farting in public is less acceptable since the smoking ban. At least back then the smell of smoke used to over ride the smell of fart.

I remember it came in around Paddys Day back in the early noughties. I walked into the pub around nine in the evening and the pong of fcuking guinness fart was fcuking rotten.

It's not the noughties. It's the zeros. Now we are in the tens. Then the twenties and so on.

fakearms123

kfallon wrote: »

Or, for comedic effect, instead of doing one big loud fart you keep squeezing your cheeks in and out to turn it into 7 or 8 mini loud farts!

Perfection!

kfallon

fakearms123 wrote: »

Perfection!

Fun size farts, more 'bang' for your buck!

admiralofthefleet

i had a lovely pub dinner on sunday that left me baking some serious brown holemeal loaves in the cinema afterwards but i had to 'traff' them. afterwards we went for a couple of pints where it was safe to let go. they were seriously bad farts that nearly choked my poor missus

FlutterinBantam

kfallon wrote: »

Or, for comedic effect, instead of doing one big loud fart you keep squeezing your cheeks in and out to turn it into 7 or 8 mini loud farts!

That's the 'String of pearls' lad.

Took on a large brekkie of rashers/saussies/hash brown/black pud and eggs in the Montclare Hotel recently.


Was sashaying down to an early morning meeting afterwards when a build up in the 'bilges' was very apparent.

Tried to control the rifts but just as I strode past a gaggle of 13 something schoolgirls I unloaded a fucking enormous sonorous rasper which rattled the palings and brought the ladies to a shuddering halt with

'OMG:eek:did you loike hear that' 'Focking gross man'


Loreto on the Green girls I believe.


I felt much better after it ,in fairness.

Archeron

My best yet was one which sounded like the man with the biggest hands in the world making one huge "CLAP"
It was in a silent study room and the memory of the look on peoples faces still makes me laugh today. The fact that i managed to blame someone else really was the icing on the cake.