Help this single man out!

LegacyUser

Hi all
Here's one for ye...

Im a 28yo male living and working in Dublin.

Over the past few years, I've had a few short relationships...nothing too serious...just fizzled out as they sometimes do..

Anyway, I've been having real trouble meeting women that are actually mature and not just up for "the shift" (can't believe I used that word...anyway....)

To give you a bit of background. I play alot of music in my life and I find that when girls find this out about me, they're all interested..intruiged...whatever you want to call it! I think this might have something to do with the problem, and that why I'm mentioning it.

Over the last 2 years, I got "involved" with 2 different girls at work (not at the same time of course)...
In both cases, we would hang out alot....call in the evenings maybe...having a good giggle...a bit of a physical relationship starting to develop but nothing serious.. that type thing.
Anyway, in both cases, both girls - as soon as we got to a situation where we're getting into bed, they completely back off and cut contact....everything...it's most unusual

At the moment, I'm kinda thinking it's a thing where they're going "ohh yeah he plays music woww, thats so exciting", and then I'm suddenly a "goal" to kiss me or something..and once the goal is hit...move on

I think I'm at the age where I can look at the situations objectively so I 'm not all cut-up about it all or anything like that, but still it bothers me from time to time....
i mean...what the HELL am i doing wrong!!!???
Not to be bigheaded, but I don't think at all that the girls suddenly "went off" or something like that.... I'm generally good craic...always in good form and up for a laugh, and I think I'm fairly attractive although I'm no Wayne Rooney

anyway....id love to hear what ye think
cheerz

Fentdog84

I dont know perhaps an anatomy problem? Only kiddin. I know there is a lot girls who wouldnt sleep with a guy on the first date but I do think it is pretty important for it to happen pretty quickly otherwise she'll just see you as a friend and lose the attraction factor and she might get scared off when the moment does arrive. But dont make it too obvious that you are looking for it. Make sure you are both relaxed(but not pissed!).

Witchie

how youuuu doin???

ash23

if they are bolting when the time comes to take the relationship to a more physical level (in your opinion) perhaps you are getting to that stage before they are ready to and scaring them off?
Nothing worse than a pushy bloke trying to go faster than you want.

I'm not saying thats whats happened. Just giving you an opinion from a 28 year old single woman. most of my single friends are up for more than "just the shift" and want relationships with the right person. But in my experience, men our age assume sex is on the agenda and are a bit agressive about it. Not saying threatening or anything but they can get a bit handsy and pushy and seem a bit put out when you don't just hop into the leaba with them.

Did you discuss taking things to the next step or whether you were an item? Some girls prefer to wait until a relationship has been established before sleeping with someone.

seamus

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Thanks

Witchie

Sorry, its just when i have been down sometimes someone being a little flirty has made me smile and helped me through and that was the intention there. Sorry again.