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Could you have sex with a tree?

  • 10-04-2011 7:16pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 356 ✭✭hoorsmelt


    Discuss. It's certainly possible from a physiognomical perspective- how about from a psychological perspective. I think it mightn't be the best long term option for those seeking a stable relationship.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 248 ✭✭BizzyLizzie


    Splinters? :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,133 ✭✭✭Sarn


    It would bring a whole new meaning to the term 'got wood'.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 850 ✭✭✭Hookah


    Wooden it be nice to live together...


  • Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Elaina Jealous Somewhere


    Splinters!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 721 ✭✭✭Xivilai


    I'm a necrophiliac so I only shag dead trees; which is why you'll sometimes see me scouting around in the nude after a lightning storm.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,495 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    It'd have to be a pussy willow.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 235 ✭✭TheAnswer


    It's always good to branch out and explore all possibilities.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    hoorsmelt wrote: »
    Discuss. It's certainly possible from a physiognomical perspective- how about from a psychological perspective. I think it mightn't be the best long term option for those seeking a stable relationship.

    Unless you're barking.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,776 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    hoorsmelt wrote: »
    Discuss. It's certainly possible from a physiognomical perspective- how about from a psychological perspective. I think it mightn't be the best long term option for those seeking a stable relationship.

    Could say the same about necrophilia not being psychological. Or beastiality.

    Best way of putting it is that you can have sex with a tree, but not make love to one.

    Oh and splinters? Use lube.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 356 ✭✭hoorsmelt


    Splinters? :eek:

    You could wear a rubber or a female condom: it's called protection for a reason ;)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,778 ✭✭✭Pauleta


    You can have oral sex with a venus fly trap


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,997 ✭✭✭latenia




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 248 ✭✭BizzyLizzie


    hoorsmelt wrote: »
    You could wear a rubber or a female condom: it's called protection for a reason ;)

    http://img.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/condom__oPt.jpg :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 356 ✭✭hoorsmelt


    Ikky Poo2 wrote: »
    Could say the same about necrophilia not being psychological. Or beastiality.

    Best way of putting it is that you can have sex with a tree, but not make love to one.

    Oh and splinters? Use lube.

    Who needs lube when you've got sap?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    Who hasn't?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 463 ✭✭Bog


    Ah, that hoary old chestnut..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    I suppose it's one way of getting your nuts .....Just Like the squirral .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 855 ✭✭✭joshrogan


    You'd want to be barking mad to have sex with a tree!


    edit:with not eith


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 721 ✭✭✭Xivilai


    It always leaves me feeling treemendous


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 383 ✭✭HUNK


    The film 'Evil Dead' comes to mind.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,114 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    You can't beat sex on the beech, can you? Just don't get too attached, or you might find yourself pine-ing away. Using your Palm is probably safer. :o

    You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.

    ―Oscar Wilde predicting Social Media, in The Picture of Dorian Gray



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 160 ✭✭.same.


    Is that not what a treesome is.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,397 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Is hugging not enough these days?

    Bloody nu-hippies!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,597 ✭✭✭WIZE


    well it wood give a new meaning to being part of the furniture


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,674 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    Would make my little stump look inadequate.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    You'd have to consult all the other animals nesting in the tree before doing such a thing.

    Also, it may get a bit messy if the tree was a sap


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    OP, whats the story?

    You started a thread last night on incest, i think there's a massive streak of an auld kink in you.

    Fecking sex mad!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    hoorsmelt wrote: »
    Discuss. It's certainly possible from a physiognomical perspective- how about from a psychological perspective. I think it mightn't be the best long term option for those seeking a stable relationship.

    I seriously hope you can get to the root of your problems.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    A big lump of bark jammed in you knob doesn't sound fun in fairness.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    It would have to have a special branch.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    Sit under one and see if it'll give you a root up the hole.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 356 ✭✭hoorsmelt


    A big lump of bark jammed in you knob doesn't sound fun in fairness.

    There are plenty of nooks and crevices in your average tree trunk. Use your imagination.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 644 ✭✭✭wolf moon


    hoorsmelt wrote: »
    Discuss.
    the above always makes me laugh when connected with an utterly mad subject :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    Yes. I believe I could. Wouldn't be nearly as sexy as the Evil Dead though.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    It's the only treesome you'll ever have:pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 188 ✭✭conormccarthy92


    hoorsmelt wrote: »
    Discuss. It's certainly possible from a physiognomical perspective- how about from a psychological perspective. I think it mightn't be the best long term option for those seeking a stable relationship.



This discussion has been closed.
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