question for any women who broke up with their boyfriend

taking things easy

this might be a stupid question but my girlfriend (well ex now) broke up with me the reason saying she no longer loved me (which i didnt see coming at all.in my eyes we were going good) but while she was breaking up with me she was crying her eyes out and did so over the next few times she saw me on my own.i do love her and would take her back if she asked.

thing i just dont get is if breaking up with your boyfriend hurts you so much then why break up in the 1st place!!!!!!!

thank you for any answers.

ElleEm

If she said she no longer loved you, it's clear that at some point she actually did love you.
It's hard to finish a relationship with someone you care about, even if it wasn't working out.
I wouldn't read too much into it though. Girls can often be more outwardly emotional than boys.

Wompa1

taking things easy wrote: »

this might be a stupid question but my girlfriend (well ex now) broke up with me the reason saying she no longer loved me (which i didnt see coming at all.in my eyes we were going good) but while she was breaking up with me she was crying her eyes out and did so over the next few times she saw me on my own.i do love her and would take her back if she asked.

thing i just dont get is if breaking up with your boyfriend hurts you so much then why break up in the 1st place!!!!!!!

thank you for any answers.

I don't get it either. I'd say maybe the excitement was gone rather than the love. She probably has some idealogical view that love should be something that ensures you always get those butterflies and are constantly courting them. Either that or maybe like me you were too nice and she needs a bad guy to be excited or some drama or crap. In the long run you're probably better off and she'll be worse off when she spends the rest of her life with a dead beat loser

MiniSquish

She could also be crying because while she may not be "in love" with you she may still love you as a friend and it might upset her to have to hurt you when you clearly still have those feelings for her.

Kevin Duffy

It looks like it hurts her to hurt you. You never really stop caring about someone you loved or where in love with.

SheRa

She can know its the right thing, but it still hurts her to cause you pain (and her too). Just because its her decsion doesnt make it painless for her.

Sorry, but I wouldnt read into it that she is regretting it.

Wibbs

MiniSquish wrote:

She could also be crying because while she may not be "in love" with you she may still love you as a friend and it might upset her to have to hurt you when you clearly still have those feelings for her.

This I'd reckon. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" = "I love you, but am not romantically/sexually attracted to you as much as I was/anymore/as much as someone else". Delete as applicable. Reductive in the extreme? Maybe, but my experience has confirmed this over the years.

Of course this is upsetting. It may have been building up over time(usually is) and she wondered why if she loved you she wasn't feeling it as much as before or had started to look around at other men. She also doesnt want to see someone she remembers loving like that(as ElleEm said) being upset.

Just one thing OP and this is just my opinion so...

This line;

taking things easy wrote:

which i didnt see coming at all.in my eyes we were going good

I'd pretty much guarantee it's been coming for a while. Depending on the length of the relationship of course. If it was 6 months it could be a couple of weeks, if it's three years or so(and it so often is) then this has been coming for months. You just didn't see it. This is a really common one for blokes. "It happened out of the blue" Very very rarely does. Try and figure out what that was and it will really help you avoid that pitfall in future relationships. Think on arguments you had that you thought were "fixed" because the raised voices stopped. In there's usually where you'll find the actual issue. Like I say just my take.

Firetrap

Your girlfriend won't have taken the decision to dump you lightly. As well as still caring for you though not as a life partner, she's grieving for the life you once had.

LegacyUser

As a girl - it's the fact that you know you're hurting someone that you shared a large part of yourself with. The fact that maybe you don't want to feel how you're feeling, and making them feel. And just the fact that it's an emotional thing.

Without going into details, myself and the boyfriend had a "wobble" last year. I ended up in hysterics. And the tears were more to do with the fact that I felt I'd "have" to break up with him, how much that would hurt him, and the incredible pain it would cause me, than anything that he actually did.

We're funny creatures, us women!!!

Wompa1

welll..... wrote: »

As a girl - it's the fact that you know you're hurting someone that you shared a large part of yourself with. The fact that maybe you don't want to feel how you're feeling, and making them feel. And just the fact that it's an emotional thing.

Without going into details, myself and the boyfriend had a "wobble" last year. I ended up in hysterics. And the tears were more to do with the fact that I felt I'd "have" to break up with him, how much that would hurt him, and the incredible pain it would cause me, than anything that he actually did.

We're funny creatures, us women!!!

What if they cheat on you and still cry? pathetic I say!

Rebel Boy

welll..... wrote: »

We're funny creatures, us women!!!

Us men already know that. You don't have to tell us

seamus

Some people will cry during any time of emotional stress, whether they're attending someone's funeral or some passer-by just shouted at them in the street.

Breaking up is emotionally stressful, and in turn causes some people to cry.

But from your description, I'd say MiniSquish is spot on. She is/was crying because she knows she has hurt you and she still cares for you, just not in the same way.