Gift for wedding abroad??

missmoo

just wanted to get a few opinions, am heading away to be BM for a family wedding in a couple of months, and was wondering, seeing as we were asked to buy our own dresses/shoes and pay for hair etc the day of the weddding, what would you do re a wedding gift? with flights and everything, the trip will cost almost 1,000 euro, so moneys a bit tight. i'm the only member of my family going so will be bringing gifts from the parents etc, but was wondering if should bring one from just me aswell? even something small? what do people think?? thanks:)

OS119

missmoo wrote: »

just wanted to get a few opinions, am heading away to be BM for a family wedding in a couple of months, and was wondering, seeing as we were asked to buy our own dresses/shoes and pay for hair etc the day of the weddding, what would you do re a wedding gift? with flights and everything, the trip will cost almost 1,000 euro, so moneys a bit tight. i'm the only member of my family going so will be bringing gifts from the parents etc, but was wondering if should bring one from just me aswell? even something small? what do people think?? thanks:)

i wouldn't bother.

if the couple were forking out for your costs then yes, but in this case i wouldn't. if you want someone to do something for you you at least pay for the materials - so either they understand that your €1000 of costs is their wedding present (fcuking outrageous in my view...), or they are astonishingly self-absorbed and don't deserve any presents because of their behaviour towards their guests.

i'd be feeling a bout of flu coming on...

D3PO

Im one who has always said you should give a gift UNTIL NOW

Shes making you pay for your own dress, shoes and hair thats outrageous. In that case I would say that is your present to her already.

missmoo

D3PO wrote: »

Shes making you pay for your own dress, shoes and hair thats outrageous. In that case I would say that is your present to her already.

we're just wearing black on the basis that everyone has a black dress, and shoes the same. don't mind paying for the hair as i'd be getting it done anyway if i wasn't a BM.

so that'll be a no to the gift then???

missmoo

OS119 wrote: »

i wouldn't bother.

if the couple were forking out for your costs then yes, but in this case i wouldn't. if you want someone to do something for you you at least pay for the materials - so either they understand that your €1000 of costs is their wedding present (fcuking outrageous in my view...), or they are astonishingly self-absorbed and don't deserve any presents because of their behaviour towards their guests.

i'd be feeling a bout of flu coming on...

oh god, they wouldn't expect anything, i was just wondering if it'd be nice too. and i really don't mind paying to go over for the wedding, wouldn't miss it for the world, and hopefully she'll be returning the favour the year after next!:P

Fattes

We are getting married abroad this year and have asked for no gifts but if people feel the need they can donate to charity on our behalf

Heineken Helen

missmoo wrote: »

oh god, they wouldn't expect anything, i was just wondering if it'd be nice too. and i really don't mind paying to go over for the wedding, wouldn't miss it for the world, and hopefully she'll be returning the favour the year after next!:P

If you can't afford it, seriously don't! Half of our wedding party didn't get us anything cos I knew their financial situation and TOLD them not to. Why don't you just tell her that you can't afford one... and that way she definitely won't be expecting one. And then if you're going to a resort, maybe get them a cheap souvenir from the place and that would be lovely to have years down the line.

Neyite

why lug gifts abroad only for them to lug them back home again? unless of course, they are not from Ireland? You dont have to give gifts on the day, its also perfectly acceptable to drom them into the mothers house or into the couple before or after the wedding day.

I would not get a gift for them based on what you have spent already on the wedding.

ana_conda

Hi

I'm very surprised the couple haven't expressed a no gifts rule because the wedding is abroad.

I was a BM for a friend here in Ireland and I paid for my dress, shoes, hair and makeup and that was my gift. It all came to well over 300 (and that's when pounds were pounds). I felt like I done more than enough. If your also flying abroad for this they couldn't possibly expect any more.

Sergio

I cant believe what im reading!!!!Your a bridesmaid for a family wedding,What relationship cousin or brother/sister and they are not paying for your dress!
Some people these days are either absolutely miserable b**tards when it comes to money or else just have no common sense!
I am getting married in less than 6 weeks time and me and my OH are paying for all bridesmaid dresses and the rental for 9 suits.

roseym

I don't think you need to give a gift. I'm considering asking my BMs to get their own shoes as their gift to us at our wedding abroad. They're just too difficult to all get together for shopping as they're so busy and live all over the country, and one of them is 6ft and has unusually large feet, it'd just be a stress I don't need (as I'm busy too!). I'm not fussed about them all being the same shoes, and twill save us a few quid in the run up to the big day. If they have a pair of shoes that suits in their wardrobe already then it's a win-win situation.

Two of my BMs (my sisters) are having their flights and accom paid for, and one is having her accom paid for for two nights. I feel bad about having two "classes" of BMs but can't stretch to anything more for the third one. We're getting their dresses as well, and am kindof shocked at them asking you to get your own. Sounds like you're getting a bit of a raw deal to be honest....

The Davestator

If you can afford it and you want to - get them a gift, but if you have to pay for your own outfit etc, i think you're ok!