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My First Boyfriend

  • 07-04-2011 3:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    I'm 20 years old. Female.

    I have been in a relationship before but if wasn't really a proper relationship looking back on it. Like we never went out for meals, to the cinema, nights out, anything! It always consisted of a few drinks in the local and back to his. This went on for a year and he treated me terribly! The whole relationship was kept a secret from my parents as I was terrified about what they may think about their little girl been in a relationship.

    Anyways I've met an amazing guy. He's a bit older (26) and we get on so well. I can tell he's mad about me. The thing is I feel extremely prudish. I'm not fully confortable with my body (I'm by no means fat but he's extremely skinny so I feel fat), I can't look him in the eyes for long because I get uncomfortable (I haven't a lot of confidence), but my biggest fear is my mum.

    I told her I now have a boyfriend but I still feel extremely uncomfortable everytime I tell her I'm going out to him. I keep thinking of her thinking of us having sex and it makes me so uncomfortable. Is this normal? I'm very close to my mum and I really don't want her thinking I'm "slutty" or whatever as she herself is very prudish.

    I know this sounds very immature but I love my mum a lot and I really like this guy and I want everyone to be happy and comfortable but I myself can't relax :(

    Any advice/opinions would be greatly appreciated thanks :)


Comments

  • #2
    IrishEyes19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,861 ✭✭✭IrishEyes19


    Hiya OP,

    well firstly its natural to be nervous, but think of this also. Your Mam was 20 once as well, so she knows exactly what you are going through and the shyness and the nerves of telling family you're seeing someone.

    Try not to imagine what she may be thinking at the end of the day when your going over to see him. Her only thoughts will be that you are happy, minding yourself and happy and comfortable. Her worries are about your safety, and no mother is going to imagine her child getting intimate with someone. she may worry about the consequences but if she hasnt said anything odd to you, its clear she trusts you enough to make the right decisons.

    so try and be happy right now, you seem to like this guy from what you said and as long as he's good to you and you feel safe and confortable. enjoy it. put those worries and thoughts aside.


  • #3
    missgroovy21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 138 ✭✭missgroovy21


    (1) your 20 years old your not a child you can make your own decisions....if hes treating you with respect and you guys are having fun....take things slow as for the body image thing...did you ever think maybe hes feeling the same way??? that he thinks his body may "repulse" you??? does he compliment you do you compliment him....just 1 or 2 here and there not all day every day????

    like someone else said...your mam wa syoung once herself...shes not niave!!! as long as she respects you and you respect her and have boundaries then everything should be fine


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