Why don't fat people eat grass?

gonedrinking

They will burn off more calories eating it than the nutritional value they get from it, so they can fulfill the urge to keep eating all day while being in a calorie deficit position and therefore lose weight!

smcgiff

Because they prefer to smoke it?

holystungun9

I need to get my confidence up a bit first before I go out and graze the field without giving a damn. Although maybe if I get one of those pantomime cow costumes...yeah, that's it! Thanks pal!:)

Because humans can't hydrolyse cellulose?

gonedrinking

they can't whaaa?

sbsquarepants

gonedrinking wrote: »

They will burn off more calories eating it than the nutritional value they get from it, so they can fulfill the urge to keep eating all day while being in a calorie deficit position and therefore lose weight!

It's a guaranteed weight loss plan, but unfortunately a common side effect of a grass heavy diet would be death.
Puts a lot of people off:D

stovelid

Dog-shit.

The danger of it being in the grass I mean, not just the thread.

MagicSean

Deleted User wrote: »

Because humans can't hydrolyse cellulose?

Dam. Beat me to it.

antodeco

Deleted User wrote: »

Because humans can't hydrolyse cellulose?

Plus you need a high enough acidic breakdown enzyme. Get your appendix working, and you're laughing!

Son Of A Vidic

Apt username, I assume you must be still drinking in order to start a thread like this.

CreepingDeath

Since cows eat grass, beef is a concentrated form of grass.

Hande hoche!

Perforated appendicitis is more common among the obese. That takes away a large percentage of potential dieters.

whydoibother?

If it burns more calories eating it than you get from it, how come horses don't starve?

gonedrinking

whydoibother? wrote: »

If it burns more calories eating it than you get from it, how come horses don't starve?

well yes, horses are buff and all they eat is a bit of grass each day, but they have a different metabolism to humans

SEPT 23 1989

Well it would save on CO2 emissions from lawnmowers if you let the tubbies into
your garden once a week during the summer

ScumLord

You can't really BBQ it and there's nothing left after you deep fry it.

ejmaztec

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Well it would save on CO2 emissions from lawnmowers if you let the tubbies into
your garden once a week during the summer

Probably cancelled out by the fat farting grass-eaters.

Sgt Hartman

antodeco wrote: »

Plus you need a high enough acidic breakdown enzyme. Get your appendix working, and you're laughing!

I had my appendix out when I was 4 so that's me screwed:(

Grass may be indigestible to humans but there may be a market for grass juice however:)

Wazdakka

Why don't fat people just put down the fork?

OutlawPete

Why don't cows eat eat each other? Don't think I could resist being a bovine cannibal, what with being surrounded by walking steaks all day.

steddyeddy

antodeco wrote: »

Plus you need a high enough acidic breakdown enzyme. Get your appendix working, and you're laughing!

Or alkaline in some cases

bnt

The cellulose thing is a problem - it's wood, basically. We can eat wheat, which is technically a "grass"; but we have to get rid of most of the cellulose, and break down the starch by cooking, before we can digest it. If you're wondering how cows and other ruminants can handle grass: they have four stomachs and spend a lot of time chewing the partly-digested cud.

Pace2008

Why don't underweight people drink crude oil? It's incredibly calorific.

mawk

I think op needs to stop all his crazy "get thin quick" schemes and go jog his chunky ass around the block a few times

smokedeels

cover it in chocolate?

gonedrinking

mawk wrote: »

I think op needs to stop all his crazy "get thin quick" schemes and go jog his chunky ass around the block a few times

I have a glandular problem!!!

policarp

Why are you limiting them to grass?
It would be grand if they could have lettuce, chives, scallions, rocket mixed with a bit of rye grass, washed down with a bucket of fresh spring water...

bluto63

Possibly the greatest thread title I've seen in a while

gonedrinking

policarp wrote: »

Why are you limiting them to grass?
It would be grand if they could have lettuce, chives, scallions, rocket mixed with a bit of rye grass, washed down with a bucket of fresh spring water...

I'm just trying to create a sustainable realistic diet for them, no fat person is going to bother their hole to get all those things.

Ash.J.Williams

stovelid wrote: »

Dog-shit.

The danger of it being in the grass I mean, not just the thread.

dogs **** on cabbage too

gonedrinking

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

dogs **** on cabbage too

exactly, and its good that there is traces of dogsh1t on our food as small amounts of it help our bodies to build up resistance to different germs and bacteria

PandyAndy

Because grass tastes horrible.

gonedrinking

PandyAndy wrote: »

Because grass tastes horrible.

put a bit of red sauce on it and its fcukin delish man

Handsome Bob

Wazdakka wrote: »

Why don't fat people just put down the fork?

Dunno, I ask myself the same question about internet warriors and their keyboard.