OCD.

AckwelFoley

I have a bi polar disorder. Thankfully i have its arse kicked over the past 3 - 4 years and im able to control it without the meds and associated treatment

The last time i had a serious bout of depression was 2007, and previously 2005. - before after and in between that, i had the usual ups and down, but was able to keep on top of it.

Ive found that prior to a major depressive state that i become "OCD", i begin to start having obsessive compulsive thoughts - it tends to be like phase one of a downward spiral, im in good form now -a little stressed etc, but i put it down to wedding preparations and preparing for the new life.

The obsessive thoughts are of course mindlessly irrational, and for someone that would consider themselves rather pragmatic, and semi intelligent it is somewhat baffling to me that i allow them to get the better of me -

Stupid things like - i must lock up the shop in a particular order - must turn off the lights in a particular order- i cannot put down the side shutter before i turn off the lights

Today, i had to empty a box, the phone was ringing, but i couldn't stop emptying the box to answer the phone - i had to completely empty the box before i answered the phone

I can only drink out of one cup in the house.

The 10 second count down (this is embarrassing) If i break one of my rules and there are dozens or i need eg - i answer the phone in the middle of emptying the box - i will give myself 10 seconds to finish emptying the box.

The consequences of breaking any of the rules is that "something bad" will happen :rolleyes: (yea, i know)

Again, i stress, I'm not mad, I'm very rational, and i know this is rather silly behaviour, but Ive noticed it on the increase again over the last few weeks, having been rid of it for years (almost)

I'm somewhat worried that this is as before the start of a downward spiral, yet more concerned that if let myself believe that - its essentially a self fulfilling prophecy.


Has anyone any experience of dealing with this? Is there some way i can snap my self out of this other than what i already do (stop being a crazy man and act normal!)

LegacyUser

I don't have OCD, but I have a slight case of obsessive thinking.Now it's not the way yours works, exactly.I have a habit of fixating on one item in my life, be it worrying or not, and thinking over and over and over it - literally in circles. I can stand outside myself, so to speak, look at myself and say "yeah, you're being crazy"....but it's hard to stop it.

It started about 4 years ago and lasted for 6 months, during which time I thought myself into a hole - to the extent that I was heading for major depression.I managed to rid myself of it. Before Christmas though, it came back and it frightened the crap out of me, that I'd never be able to get rid of it again.Which adds to the worry.

Like you, you start thinking you have something, which makes your thoughts worse, which convinces you further that you have it....blah, blah the usual spiral. But if you've beaten it before you can do it again. However periods of high stress can cause it to ...I call it re-surface, coz mentally I see it as a kind of Loch Ness monster raising it's head every so often out of the murky part of my brain. At the time it recurred for me, I was under huge stress, as I was (and am) unemployed and I was finding it very,very hard to deal with. It took a few weeks - well, 2-3 months I'd say, before I felt I was managing it again.

I did go to a counsellor for a few weeks which helped.But I found that one thing that helped me was to be nice to myself. Have long baths, take lots and lots of walks.And most importantly stop listening to myself.Which is hard to do, but it can be done. One day it was like this calm little voice started talking inside my head, addressing fears as they arose. And slowly but surely it's calmed. It still reappears every now and then, but I'm able to say "no that's not rational and I'm not going to pay attention to it". It's like holding a piece of paper in a gale force wind and letting it go....letting the thoughts go.

Ok.So I know that's not exactly what your problem is, but I understand what you mean about it feeding itself, and you're probably right.I will say it takes concentration to let your thoughts go. But it can be done.And it does feed itself. Don't be afraid to go to a doctor though if you feel it's getting out of hand. It's not an embarassment, sometimes we all need a helping hand. It's amazing that you've beaten it before and you can definitely do it again.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Hey Op.

I had this a child bad enough but manged to grow out of it. Over recent years it manged to come back into my life and like yourself i had a set routine in doing stuff etc.

Anyways I went to counselling about anxiety problems and he happened to ask me had i any OCD problems and we got into to it. My OCD was part of my anxiety and I was feeding it by doing all my things I done everyday the same way just so nothing BAD would happen.

He suggested lets say I used to turn on and off the lights 4 times for the next weeks to do it 3 times instead of 4 and the next week do it 2 times instead of 3 etc. So I slowely worked my myself away to stop doing it and it seems to have worked. I do find myself some times going back to my OCD ways with out realizing it and have to snap myself out of it and walk away from what I was ment to be doing to feed my OCD.

Anyway like yourself you know you can stop it and it will come and go but just remember nothing bad will happen if you dont do it and just try and work yourself off of doing it like I have. Best of Luck

LegacyUser

I also suffer from ocd never even told anyone about it except the girlfriend and that was quite recently! Mainly as you know yourself deep down it's crazy and makes no sense and afraid of sounding so like a lunatic.

I first being aware of it when I was around 12 or 13, I'm now 25. It's the same as you say with having crazy little rituals and with me it's numbers 3,5,6 or the good ones 4 isn't good I touch 3 things (light switch, wall, mirror etc.) 3 or 5 times as I'm leaving rooms as if by doing this things in my life will in some way work out better..... well in reality the feeling happens again a few minutes later!!

I'm reading this and it's rather embarassing and I have only touched the tip of the iceberg with what I said!! I do think to myself thank god people don't realise what goe's through my head all day, haha.

It's at it's worst when I have serious things going on and do be nervous or anxious as said but it's always there really. It's sort of like when you were a kid and you were walking on the pavement and couldn't touch the cracks...it's like living life like that!!

Anyway aside from all this I'm actually a normal person and most people would never know the little thoughts in my head to be honest with out going to see someone I'm not sure what can be done I've just personally decided to live with it. But I'm sure if it's thing you want to stop by seeing someone it is possible.

I suppose I just wanted to let you know your definetly not alone with it and I think it's more common than people would expect.

jenggg

So happy to see a thread like this as I'm having a hard time at the moment convincing myself of all kinds of stupid things. Big Stick's post has really encouraged me to look after myself in the hopes it will make me feel better. Thanks and good luck to everyone!

AckwelFoley

I talked to the fiance about it last night, and she was very understanding -and to be fair she has said many things to me that were encouraging. She said if i do break any of the rules and something bad happens, dont blame myself blame her!

LegacyUser

Hey, it's O.C.D the previous poster.

Glad to see you told someone about it, I myself only told my girlfriend two months ago. First person I ever have and as I said it's been at least 13 years of it daily. Although I'm sure my mother knew as she always made fun of me touching things or leaving things in strange places (an organised mess as I call it ! but we never talked about it)

Was completely shocked with the positive reaction from the girlfriend though. I suppose the fact that you know it's ridiculous deep down and to laugh about it and without someone looking at you strangely as you explain it was a relief to me!!

Overheal

Maybe she can punish you by motorboating you with her boobs if you break one of your rules. Then youll break them all the time :pac:

Have you ever engaged in any form of counseling for this condition? Or probably more appropriately a Psychiatrist or Psychologist?

Beruthiel

snyper wrote: »

Is there some way i can snap my self out of this other than what i already do (stop being a crazy man and act normal!)

I have no experience of ocd snyper, but is it not a good thing that you recognise the signs? I mean, at least you can cut it off at the pass.
Have you discussed it with a professional who might be able to give you tips?

Are ocd ireland any good?

going un-reg

You're not completely alone in how you think OP,

I used to (and still do from time to time) use a particular method when locking a front/bedroom door. To prevent me from thinking to myself when I've left "oh, DID I really lock the door?"...I'd get paranoid that I might not have ( I think everyone thinks like that at some stage) so what I'd do is wiggle the key in the lock 10 times, so then when I was out, I'd remember that I wiggled the keys indicating that I locked it, so then I was ok, safe in the knowledge that my flat was locked up.

Sometimes I'll read something, and convince myself that I didn't understand what was written, or that It didn't sink in, so I'd have to go read in again and again, it could be just one sentance. Thankfully it doesn't happen to me much anymore, but it does pop up from time to time.

What helped me is more about just implementing some personal goals. I've gained more confidence over the years, and having more confidence in yourself and your capabilities will counteract that paranoia and self-doubt that you must be experiencing. I know it's easier said than done, but it's not a permanent condition (I've researched it indepth), it's just about altering your mindset in a positive manner.

Counsellors are quite a good aid in relation to this. I hope things work out for you

pickarooney

Beruthiel wrote: »

I have no experience of ocd snyper, but is it not a good thing that you recognise the signs? I mean, at least you can cut it off at the pass.
Have you discussed it with a professional who might be able to give you tips?

Are ocd ireland any good?

Is it a bad sign that it bugs the hell out of me that their homepage is horribly mis-centred?

Snyper, I think you just need to go along with it. You know it's not rational and you know what's happening; trying to combat it with logic is probably not going to do any good. I think we all have minor tics that don't really make any sense but provide some sort of comfort, especially when there's a major change afoot.

If you think about it, why should answering the phone take priority over emptying the box? You're in the middle of performing a task when someone unwittingly wants to distract you from that. It's not the end of the world if you don't pick up straight away; if it's important there are a dozen ways for the person to let you know.

AckwelFoley

going un-reg wrote: »

You're not completely alone in how you think OP,

I used to (and still do from time to time) use a particular method when locking a front/bedroom door. To prevent me from thinking to myself when I've left "oh, DID I really lock the door?"...I'd get paranoid that I might not have ( I think everyone thinks like that at some stage) so what I'd do is wiggle the key in the lock 10 times, so then when I was out, I'd remember that I wiggled the keys indicating that I locked it, so then I was ok, safe in the knowledge that my flat was locked up.

I smiled the whole way through reading that because its exactly the same with myself!

I think the added anxiety for me stems to back 15 years when i worked in a video store. I did a very brainless thing - why i dont know, but i locked the shutter and started talking to a friend and went home. The next day when i went to open the shop i found i had no keys.. where were they? In the shutter lock! :eek: I never took them out!

Im not stupid but im extremely absent minde. Only yesterday i doubted myself that i locked the gates of the yard in the shop and i drove 12 miles to double check myself - of course the locks were snapped, but i remembered then when i was there i didnt set the yard alarm

My mind is always thinking of something and ive poor consentration. As for personal goals, ive acheived alot in my 34 years and i am reasonable comfortable despite the recession and ive planned some more goals for the next few years. Im sucessful in my life, ive no confidance issues there, but i do doubt myself on small things like that - because i know im absent minded and that in itself creates anxiety

If you think about it, why should answering the phone take priority over emptying the box? You're in the middle of performing a task when someone unwittingly wants to distract you from that. It's not the end of the world if you don't pick up straight away; if it's important there are a dozen ways for the person to let you know

I know what your saying, but rule number 1 in business is pick up the phone! Yea minor ticks are ok, but when you are doing these minor ticks 30 or 40 times a day they tend to take over things too much and i dont like doing irrational things, its a form of a paradox, irrational behaviour caused by anxeity creating anxeity by doing the irrational things!

purity

I too suffer from OCD mine is a severe form where I put my life in danger at times. When I'm at work I have to do stuff in an order or something bad will happen. I know it can be treated and it doesn't bother to the extent it's ruining my life but I'd like to go to work one day stop the bad thoughts and not have to do all these pointless jobs.

LegacyUser

I don't know how to help, but I will tell you my story. I was really OCD until I was 20. I still have a fear of buttons (don't laugh!) but kicked ALL my OCD habits literally overnight. I used to do crazy crazy things like not step on cracks, if I walked under a signpost or streelight I would have to slap myself immediately, if I saw a button I had to scratch myself immediately, I would go around people's houses making sure lids were screwed on, I had to touch things twice around the house, I couldn't watch TV programmes on certain days of the week, I don't even want to try remember the other rituals I had because they were such a drain on my life. I did have to pray every three minutes though, in fact I HAD to pray at :03, :06, :09. And every three hours I had to do a big prayer. I don't even think about religion anymore, I don't even engage in relgious debates.

I used to have these horrible thoughts that the world would actually end if I didn't do a ritual.

These rituals set me back majorly. I am gay and had serious trouble coming out because I never focused on myself for years. At all. I am a smart guy who could have been exceptional at exams (still did well though!), I came across way more awkward than I should have with people and I never even thought about sex or attraction or anything. The fact that I achieved so much whilst being ridiculously OCD is a miracle considering how much of your precious consciousness is wasted on it.

That feeling that something will happen or that the OCD things control your life, it just sort of overloaded me one summer and I just stopped. In fact I think what happened was I was walking through stephens green shopping centre, walked under a sign by accident and slapped myself on the leg. It all just hit me then how wrong this all was. I now don't have ANY beliefs in ghosts, religion, auras, or basically anything. You control your life, don't waste your time on anything else.

*Note: I know how different OCD is for everyone, my parents sent me to the doctor when i was in school but it didnt help I just pretended i was fine after. This is just my story and im putting it out there