Desperate for work

LegacyUser

I'm feeling very desperate today and my husband is in a very bad way.

You could say that in the post-Tiger years I've mostly been the breadwinner, but I got made redundant a good while back and I'm also going through medical treatment at the moment that stops me taking up something new (even I could find it).

My husband was in construction as a general operative. He's worked with electricity, plumbing, carpentry and is a very handy guy but has basically he doesn't have trade qualifications (he's 39) & had hardly any work in the past year. He is starting to go crazy, sitting at the playstation for hours and screaming and shouting when he doesn't score or whatever. He's making our lives miserable. Sharing a small space with him is hellish right now. For months I said nothing about him finding work but there have been rows of late, with him insisting that he can't find work. Since then, I've taken over the job of searching recruitment sites for him... only to find that there are hardly any jobs he's qualified for. I send out CV after CV and get nothing...
My husband is also chronically shy. I have suggested to him that he go into recruitment agencies in person and make himself remembered but he struggles with this and it leads to arguments. Any money we've ever saved is also disappearing fast...
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY TIPS OR IDEAS? How are other people getting work?
He's on the list for a few FAS training courses but nothing has come up as yet & funding has been drastically cut there.
I realise that I probably sound pretty co-dependent. There are problems in our marriage but I feel like if he got work then at least we would have the physical and mental space to work them out, so the help I'm asking for here is advice on how to get work for someone in his situation. I know this should be basic stuff - CVs etc. but that's not working.
Any tips greatly appreciated. We are desperate.

LegacyUser

Some places are looking for GO's.

http://www.irishjobs.ie/ShowResults.aspx?Recruiter=Both&Category=9&Location=102&Keywords=Any+Extra+Keywords%3F&x=38&y=7

Ok, admittedly, there's only one on that page but they certainly have more than that on and off.

I feel for you OP, being unemployed myself. However I'm going to give you some advice that will probably sound extremely harsh. He needs to get some sort of qualification. There are CV advice agencies everywhere, that'll help you make it look good, but they'll probably cost money.FAS have some advice, and if you look halfway down this page, they have a jobs club too.
http://www.fas.ie/en/Job+Seeker/Home/default.htm
But the thing is, he does need to set his mind to getting something.Anything that can help him out.

The only other things I can think of is maybe looking for warehouse jobs with Lidl, Aldi, Superquinn, Tesco or someone?

Ellie2008

Dear OP,

I think its a very difficult situation that you're in, if you are based in Dublin maybe your husband would be up for speaking to someone from this organisation:

http://www.mymind.org/

A friend recommended them to me, Ive never been but she's heard great things, she suffers from depression and would be quite "in the know" about what's available out there. Im not saying I think your husband necessarily suffers from chronic depression but Im sure he must be quite down in the dumps. That organisation has a careers service and the best thing, they're half price if you're unemployed.

Sorry cant offer any better advice, he will clearly need to re-skill so a FAS course would be his best option. You sound quite pro-active, I would maybe ring some night courses etc if I were you and ask them if they could help you out by giving him a discount etc. Dont be afraid to ask for help, Irish people in general I think would do what they can to help you out.

HugoDrax

Hi OP.
At the moment there are no jobs going. The country is in a deep recession and it's going to get worse before it gets better because of the banks and everything else you hear about in the news.
Relatives were in the same boat as yourself and they have left the country and found work abroad in Australia and Canada.
They were in the depths of depression like your hubbie but they are now on top of the world and enjoying life in another place.
I know you both are established in Ireland but for the forseeable future there is nothing going in this country and the only real job opportunities are overseas.
There are jobs going in the UK and on the continent (you can get by reasonably well because most Europeans can speak English) and it's not like the old days when Irish people were treated like dirty.
Irish people have a good rep abroad and your man would have no problem landing a job as soon as he stepped off the plane.
It might not be ideal but it would beat going slowly crazy in rainy old Ireland.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, I've calmed down a bit. All of your advice is good and very much appreciated.

I've a pain in my head from looking at recruitment sites. It seems like you need a qualification to change a bin liner right now.
He definitely needs to upskill somehow, though as mentioned the funding is drastically cut there. And we will get back onto FAS.

I agree that he has depression at the moment & have been trying to get him to talk to someone but he's not into the idea at all. But thanks for the link. I actually think he's in such a low self-esteem hole that he needs to gain some confidence (via work or activity?) before he will even address these issues.

Applying directly to Tesco, Lidl etc., sounds like a great idea.

We're all for immigration but right now my health issues mean we need to be here. Hopefully that will change within the next year or so, I am responding to treatment, fingers crossed.
This situation is really tearing us apart. I'm starting to resent him and he's also directing a lot of anger at me.

Any other ideas are also welcome!

kevin99

A friend's husband lost his job last year and has been applying for many jobs. He's early 50s.
She said one company told him he wasn't suitable for a contract position, but they would like to avail of his expertise when required and another told him he was too qualified and experienced for a job they advertised.
Another company told him he had too much experience.
I wondered if there is a touch of ageism going on and if he has any recourse to take a case against one or all of these companies to the courts?

jimmycrackcorm

OP, would he consider doing some sort of volunteering? There probably is no short term solution to the job situation so something alternative to make him feel he is doing something worthwhile would do wonders...

LegacyUser

kevin99 wrote: »

A friend's husband lost his job last year and has been applying for many jobs. He's early 50s.
She said one company told him he wasn't suitable for a contract position, but they would like to avail of his expertise when required and another told him he was too qualified and experienced for a job they advertised.
Another company told him he had too much experience.
I wondered if there is a touch of ageism going on and if he has any recourse to take a case against one or all of these companies to the courts?

We've been wondering this ourselves, and for someone in their 50s I've no doubt there is.

We've ommitted his date of birth from CV, and made a point of only starting the jobs on his CV from about 96 onwards to suggest he's in his mid or early 30s. He could probably pass for a few years younger than he is, and I've even suggested that he say he's 34!!! - talk about lying on a CV!!! ... and he's only 39 anyway - skilled & his in prime...

jimmycrackcom, volunteering is a GREAT idea too... & I can certainly bring the horse to water...
We're in this downward spiral where he says his confidence is too low to do anything but he has to do something to get his confidence back. I plan on showing him this thread tonight, so any other ideas also appreciated.

Thanks guys

Ellie2008

What about you OP? You havent said what's wrong with you, Im assuming its cancer though clearly apologies if Im wrong. If it is cancer, I hope you've been in touch with the Irish Cancer Society, they have all kinds of services, my personal experience is in North Wicklow where a family member of mine has been provided with all kinds of support for free - counselling, reflexology, massages.

Re the volunteering, could your husband do handyman type work, if so I think he'd be perfect for the Saint Vincent de Paul for people who needs things done around the house but cant afford to pay someone. Again the same family member is volunteering for the SVP in North Wicklow and I said in passing to him "Sure the SVP cant have much money" and he said they actually do people are still being very generous. My family member goes around giving out money I think he wouldnt know what to do with a hammer and nail, useless! I think from my limited experience you'd be amazed how helping other people boosts your confidence and it would give him something to talk about in an interview.

Best of luck to you both, you sound like you care for him a lot and I hope the stress is not affecting your illness too badly and glad to hear you're responding to treatment.

RileyCoyote

Hi OP, about fas - I was in there the other day and they were saying the evening courses are shorter courses, so they have much shorter waiting lists, and they have online courses that have no waiting lists - they're all up on their website, you can search them at home. You might find anything useful. And you can be on the waiting list for a long course while you're doing a short one.

If he's been out of work for more than 3 months, he'd qualify for a WPP scheme job - one of those jobs where you work for your dole. They're on the Fas website as well. It might lead to something better, it'd be something to put on the cv anyway.

Good luck on the hunt, and fair dues to you for being so supportive.

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

Ellie2008, no its not cancer thank god, though it is a complicated thing which I won't go into here to hang onto the anonymity. I'm doing ok & have access to counselling service for my own medical issues, but we badly need a lucky break - just so we're not on top of each other driving each other nuts!!!! And the money worries of course.

Harshiknow - I've got an application into aldi etc. just this afternoon - they actually pay 11.35 an hour which is not bad!!! Gonna hit the FAS site too.

WPP thanks for the FAS info as well, gonna see is there anything suitable with WPP scheme.

Am feeling much better to be doing something. Keep the ideas coming if there are any, will 'present' them later!!!