Friends with "Benifits"

tupac10

from reading a recent thread got me thinking , Whats peoples general opinion of them? Have you ever had one?

From my experience it is great for a brief period of time but before long feelings get involved and before you know it your in a relationship...

sandmanporto

man the best way. I have 1 of those. A shag everytime i go 2 cork

policarp

What kind of benefits would these be?

tupac10

policarp wrote: »

What kind of benefits would these be?

Of a Sexual nature.;)

tupac10

sandmanporto wrote: »

man the best way. I have 1 of those. A shag everytime i go 2 cork

I had that for awhile.. but then she started developing feelings and wanted something serious and it didn't end well..

chillywilly

policarp wrote: »

What kind of benefits would these be?

JSB

mawk

policarp wrote: »

What kind of benefits would these be?

Child support

Dangerous Man

I had one of those too. It's not worth the hassle.

Dj Stiggie

sandmanporto wrote: »

man the best way. I have 1 of those. A shag everytime i go 2 cork

Totally not worth it

OutlawPete

policarp wrote: »

What kind of benefits would these be?

They have to have a fringe apparently.

Just like Bananarammas back in the day ...

chillywilly

I'm friends with Bennie Fitz

FatherLen

i also had a friend with benifits and no commitment was ever made. just a bit of fun here and there. dirty fun...

Shenshen

I used to have some, and I kind of miss them.
Downside of being married, I guess.

Cupcake_Crisis

Had one, was good craic for a while, then it got messy, now we no longer speak.

stupidusername

interesting to read. i was under the impression they worked out fine for most people. i've only had one.. and i don't even know if you'd call it that. but yeah it's not for me. i mean i become too attached to people. but at least i realise that now, and so we're not continuing.

although i'm finding it hard to determine the differences between FBs and a relationship...

stovelid

I wonder how honest people are being about how well they work in real life? It's a good idea and I'm for it in theory but in practice I always found that it was a situation where one person usually ended up wanting more and the other just milked the sex until it all ended in tears.

giant_midget

It's great for a while but it gets messy after that. Never ends well in my opinion.

azezil

I miss mine, not because I'd any emotional attachment but just for the convenience. No contact except on Friday evening when I'd ask if he fancied a shag (he always did). Hang out for one night, have lots of fun sex then he'd be gone the next morning before noon.

fakearms123

azezil wrote: »

I miss mine, not because I'd any emotional attachment but just for the convenience. No contact except on Friday evening when I'd ask if he fancied a shag (he always did). Hang out for one night, have lots of fun sex then he'd be gone the next morning before noon.

I can't understand why he didn't want to bring you to meet his parents :rolleyes:

stovelid

fakearms123 wrote: »

I can't understand why he didn't want to bring you to meet his parents :rolleyes:

Does that dose of pious judgment itch much?

If you're going to put it in quotation marks could you at least spell it correctly?

Anyway nothing wrong with them

sbsquarepants

giant_midget wrote: »

It's great for a while but it gets messy after that. Never ends well in my opinion.

You could be just talking about sex in general:D

D'Agger

fakearms123 wrote: »

I can't understand why he didn't want to bring you to meet his parents :rolleyes:

What do you think Fúck buddies/Friends with benefits ask each other

fakearms123

stovelid wrote: »

Does that dose of pious judgment itch much?

Its jealousy

jimbobaloobob

Interesting here how the benefits seem to be outstripped and someone always gets serious

jimbobaloobob

PaulieC wrote: »

What do you think Fúck buddies/Friends with benefits ask each other

When did you start scratching?

azezil

fakearms123 wrote: »

I can't understand why he didn't want to bring you to meet his parents :rolleyes:

Perhaps because he didn't want me to have sex with them too... While I'm all for a good family romp myself some people are so narrow minded when it comes to that kind of thing

Dudess

stovelid wrote: »

I wonder how honest people are being about how well they work in real life?

+1. It sounds well blasé or whatever to say "Aw yeah, I have a fuck buddy and it's great, no downside" but the fact is: lots of people attach emotion to sex.

For me personally: anything like that long-term, not a chance. Short-term fling or one-night stand only.

homerun_homer

I had a friend with benefits that has moved to the UK but still asks me to come over. We started going out but I just hadn't interest or the right mind on me for a relationship. A few flirty texts from her later and it just developed into NSA fun. And no, the longer it goes on doesn't mean you will develop feelings. 2 people with the same motivation for no emotional ties can get along just fine.

themadchef

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

Interesting here how the benefits seem to be outstripped and someone always gets serious

It doesnt always have to end badly. So long as the rules of the game are adhered to. Checks and balance in place.

It's not a fúck buddy if you are all chatty and friendly texting and calling during the week. That's a friendship \ pending relationship in someones head. There should be no contact of a flirty \ sexual nature in between booty calls.

NEVER do an over night. Im not saying the sex is cold (Christ, far from it :pac:) but the over night stuff is for boyfriends, draw the line.

Booty call. "How ya fixed? Great, see ya then"
Post sex "See ya, dont let the door hit you in the arse on the way out". No body feeling anything but "Hell yeah".

So, be sure if youre calling the person youre screwing a "fúck buddy" that that is the dynamic of the relationship you have. Other wise one of you is on the road to pain.
I think the term "friends with Benefits" is misleading tbh. Fúck buddy may be a bit more crude but it is what it is.

ulinbac

azezil wrote: »

While I'm all for a good family romp myself some people are so narrow minded when it comes to that kind of thing

Thought this was about friends with benefits and not families:D

Don't they usually end up in a relationship? Thats what happened mine. Know someone in this predicament and its not going to end well, Friends with benefits need some sort of boundaries, emotionally anyway!

Fergality

An easy way to make sure no feelings become involved is to politely inform your friend that they were crap each time you've just done the deed (even though they're not, probably) That's something two friends can say without hurting each other, but at the same time you're just like "ah she's only a ****, I'm not really arsed with her".
Until the next time you've been out and couldn't score a bint and you've a bit of credit :cool:

Leslie91

I so missed out. Cannot believe these exist, never got a sniff. Now happily married.

UglyBolloxFace

tupac10 wrote: »

from reading a recent thread got me thinking , Whats peoples general opinion of them? Have you ever had one?

From my experience it is great for a brief period of time but before long feelings get involved and before you know it your in a relationship...

Never describe sex and then use the word "period" in the same description - it's a real boner-killer.

pow wow

Likewise with the nut sack and cheese thread earlier (why is there no spew smiley???).

F*ckbuddies are much better than friends with benefits....you don't need to pretend to be friends!

Kiera

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Never describe sex and then use the word "period" in the same description - it's a real boner-killer.

Towel!

:P

jimbobaloobob

Túaile.

stovelid

A lot what passes for friends with benefits is often one person who actually likes the other one playing it cool and hoping the sex will eventually translate into something deeper on the part of the other who is often just avoiding the eventual denouement and getting as much sex in as possible.

candy-gal1

The point is to already have the relationship part so its out of the way, and if it didnt work at least you know and you just keep that in your head tbh.

If the sex is good, why not?!
Its kind of a waste to not do that, and have fun doing so if its really good tbh.
just make sure to separate love feelings from sex, if their is any and dont take it seriously ever

veryangryman

Pros and Cons

Pros: You get laid. Alot
Cons: Its really not just "benefits". Alot of hidden extras

towers

Allow me to make the argument for friends with benefits (for when it works out at least;)) Having moved in with my former FWB last month - now partner - I feel it's a winning tactic for the following reasons:

1 Having been friends first you know each others imperfections inside out - there's no ugly surprises

2 You (largely) get to avoid dealing with the problem of their friends you dislike - because they're your mates

3 As you're being sly to begin with you avoid the pressure of outing yourself in the group

4 You like the same films, social scene, lifestyle etc etc (and/or rather there's no pretending/exaggerating being into something in the first throws of romance with what is essentially a stranger)

5 The self-destruct gene sometimes employed when beginning a relationship with someone (think cheating, rudeness, being a bitch/bastard, unreliability because you'll never see them again anyway) is switched off because a) they're you're friend b) you don't want to hurt them c) you'll be called out by you peer group. This is a massive one actually.

6 When you do "come out" to your mates you find out they all had an inkling anyway and its not a big deal.

7 Everything just flows much easier. And I mean EVERTHING.

Don't get me wrong I'm sure there are 7 really good reasons not to do it but fcuk it - sometimes you just got to leap and wait for the net to appear.

Earthhorse

Dudess wrote: »

For me personally: anything like that long-term, not a chance. Short-term fling or one-night stand only.

Fair enough. I accept your terms.

Max Power1

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Never describe sex and then use the word "period" in the same description - it's a real boner-killer.

pfft. Amateur!!!

If you take that attitude that means you cant have sex for 20-25% of the month!

giant_midget wrote: »

It's great for a while but it gets messy after that. Never ends well in my opinion.

+1

I know from past experiences that I cant seperate repeated sexual encounters from emotion and thus the whole FWB situation always ends up being complicated to work long term.

I had one a few years ago.
But, he being older then I, got a little possesive and wanted more.
Me on the other hand, wanted fun; and nothing more.

That did not end well.

UglyBolloxFace

Is 'Benefits' some sort of gym or something? And why do you want to be friends with it?

UglyBolloxFace

veryangryman wrote: »

Pros and Cons

Pros: You get laid. Alot
Cons: Its really not just "benefits". Alot of hidden extras

So you could say fuckbuddies is the Ryanair of sex.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

I had one a few years ago.
But, he being older then I, got a little possesive and wanted more.
Me on the other hand, wanted fun; and nothing more.
.

Your post made me start quoting "the raven" in my head :pac:

Max Power1

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Is 'Benefits' some sort of gym or something? And why do you want to be friends with it?

?

Joke fail tbh.

Should be blasted with piss!

UglyBolloxFace

Max Power1 wrote: »

?

Joke fail tbh.

Should be blasted with piss!

the sweet, sweet stench of piss.
:pac:

pels

For me it always ends up something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cdPWwBKplI

So worth it though.