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Head is Melted

  • 04-04-2011 9:04pm
    #1
    kend85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15 ✭


    Hey, long story short is me and my ex broke up 6 months ago and things have gone bitter between us and its eating me alive!!i want to stay friends but she says its too hard which i can understand but i just cant seem to let go completly,i might go 2 months without contact and then i might ring her or text her and i just get a rude,short or cold reply.my head is telling me just move on dont look back theres is plenty more girls out there but i just cant stop thinking about her from the minute i wake up every day!! im 26 we were together for a year and few months and had a great time. i was with a girl for 7 years before that and im over that and have quite a good friendship with her so i know that there is light at the end of the tunnel i just cant seem to get there and it is driving me insane!!! Ive been out with a few girls since and am actually having a good time being single but i just cant shake this anxious and lonley feeling!! i dont know is its the rejection that i cant handle or what!! like i know there will be other girls and its not like someone has died!! So i guess im just wondering has anyone been in this situation,where 6 months down the road you find yourself still cut up and cant stop thinking negaive things!! I just feel i have a car sitting on my chest 24/7!!! any advice would be greatly appretiated :)


Comments

  • #2
    HugoDrax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭HugoDrax


    kend85 wrote: »
    Hey, long story short is me and my ex broke up 6 months ago and things have gone bitter between us and its eating me alive!!i want to stay friends but she says its too hard which i can understand but i just cant seem to let go completly,i might go 2 months without contact and then i might ring her or text her and i just get a rude,short or cold reply.my head is telling me just move on dont look back theres is plenty more girls out there but i just cant stop thinking about her from the minute i wake up every day!! im 26 we were together for a year and few months and had a great time. i was with a girl for 7 years before that and im over that and have quite a good friendship with her so i know that there is light at the end of the tunnel i just cant seem to get there and it is driving me insane!!! Ive been out with a few girls since and am actually having a good time being single but i just cant shake this anxious and lonley feeling!! i dont know is its the rejection that i cant handle or what!! like i know there will be other girls and its not like someone has died!! So i guess im just wondering has anyone been in this situation,where 6 months down the road you find yourself still cut up and cant stop thinking negaive things!! I just feel i have a car sitting on my chest 24/7!!! any advice would be greatly appretiated :)

    She wants to move on too but you keep calling and texting which is probably why she is being rude. Imagine if you exes were contacting you when you were with a new girl and see how you would feel? You have to forget about her and move on. Focus on the future.


  • #3
    missgroovy21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 138 ✭✭missgroovy21


    HugoDrax wrote: »
    She wants to move on too but you keep calling and texting which is probably why she is being rude. Imagine if you exes were contacting you when you were with a new girl and see how you would feel? You have to forget about her and move on. Focus on the future.

    I agree time to move on!!!!


  • #4
    Fentdog84
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 936 ✭✭✭Fentdog84


    Know how you feel we've all been there but get this ''lets be friends'' idea out of you're head it dosent work like that, i think you should also cut out contact with the previous gf aswell.


  • #5
    Daegerty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,864 ✭✭✭Daegerty


    She probably has someone else and doesn't want to explain where the texts are coming from to him.


  • #6
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    HugoDrax wrote: »
    She wants to move on too but you keep calling and texting which is probably why she is being rude. Imagine if you exes were contacting you when you were with a new girl and see how you would feel? You have to forget about her and move on. Focus on the future.
    This. And this; Stop being self centered. All you're thinking about is how you feel. It's eff all to do with her. So leave her alone and move on. You won't be able to achieve the latter until you do the former.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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  • #7
    Mighty_Mouse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,882 ✭✭✭Mighty_Mouse


    It's over.
    A friendship is only possible when the break-up is one-sided.
    Put it in the "life experience" file & move on.
    Learn from it. Adversity & hardship is a fact of life.
    Learn how to get through it.
    Point yourself forward. Make a plan for the future.
    What do you want to do for the next 1yr, 2yrs, 5yrs?
    Set some goals. Work on yourself. Grow as a person.


  • #8
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Give the girl some space and stop trying to force a friendship with her.

    The more you push this the more she will push you away and the whole sorry cycle will begin again.

    Both of you have to come to terms with the end of the relationship and it will take time before the pain of the loss of that relationship eases.


  • #9
    up and at it
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭up and at it


    change your number and be disciplined enough not to call her,its over! been there myself and i know its tough!keep the head up and focus on yourself,cut her loose and save your sanity,look forwards not backwards and things will gradually improve


  • #10
    DOBBER112
    Closed Accounts Posts: 163 ✭✭DOBBER112


    Fentdog84 wrote: »
    Know how you feel we've all been there but get this ''lets be friends'' idea out of you're head it dosent work like that, i think you should also cut out contact with the previous gf aswell.


    I agree with that, its not that simple and can be a real can of worms. Example: If you get involved again you have to explain to the new flame that your "friend" is really your ex girlfriend, which in turn results in your new girlfriend hating the mention and sight of your friend as she is now considered as an immediate threat. Women are territorial too :D
    If you really want a fresh start its best to let things lay as they are and do what you can to keep busy and move on. Focusing on the keep busy part. Delete her number, email, facebook, msn, skype and whatever else will give you a look into her life and have you doing any snooping that will hold you back, sounds harsh but you have to do what you have to do to give yourself the best chance to allow yourself to move on. Do what makes you happy, get involved with a new hobby or group, you never know who you might meet. Chances are the next girl you meet will blow her out of the water with an amazingness torpedo :D the saying that patience is a virtue doesn't help but it is true. I wish you the best of luck ;)


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