Fukushima - How would the two Brians have dealt with the crisis?

jetsonx

If Ireland has a nuclear reactor that was melting down. How would Fat Brian Cowen and Lying Brian Lenihan have dealt with it?

FatherLen

they would have stolen all the money and bolted i suppose

4zn76tysfajdxp

jetsonx wrote: »

If Ireland has a nuclear reactor that was melting down. How would Fat Brian Cowen and Lying Brian Lenihan have dealt with it?

Chosen better nicknames for themselves.

See below:

http://rypple.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Homer-Simpson.jpg

Ardennes1944

they wouldnt

Sykk

Obligatory use Mary Harney to plug the hole post

petes

Ate it.

Fratton Fred

They would have denied it ever happening and told people who claimed it did as merchants of doom.

For Forks Sake

Fratton Fred wrote: »

They would have denied it ever happening and told people who claimed it did as merchants of doom.

I don't accept that going forward

smokedeels

They would have called in Mothra in a consultancy capacity, he ultimately would have made the problem worse and it would be later revealed through leaked documents that he was grossly overpaid.

Political commentators and opposition parties suggest in hindsight that Rodan would have been a better choice.

Ulysses Gaze

St Lenihan would have reacted like this:

'Our nuclear reactors are the safest in the world.'

As the reactor was spewing out radioactive ions he then would have said:

'The threat of radioactive leakage from the reactor has been dealt with. We have turned the corner'

Then when confronted on television about the reactor leaking radiation he would have stated;

'I don't accept that'

conorhal

jetsonx wrote: »

If Ireland has a nuclear reactor that was melting down. How would Fat Brian Cowen and Lying Brian Lenihan have dealt with it?

Well first of all they would have denied that there was a crisis, and assure the public that the reactor was not 'overheated'.
Then as the damn thing was quite clearly exploding in their faces they would have commissioned a report, set up an enquiry and finally tried to blame overheating on other problem reactors around the world before attempting so solve the problem by burying the reactor core in a protective cocoon of taxpayers money......

A tribunal would be the most obvious solution.

Ah nuts

What crisis, we reject that accusation that the animals are dying from radiation. It is international conditions that has caused this problems and I made my decision of not putting in any containment measures was based on best practice.


We do not need any help on from the international agencies with this problem.

Ps Vincent Brown just don't start.

hal9000

Sykk wrote: »

Obligatory use Mary Harney to plug the hole post

Im not sure we have the physics for that

Mister men

I don't accept that.

Lando Griffin

John Gormley would be the man in charge and responsible for press releases regarding this issue.
Firstly, he would explain that he would not allow nuclear plants to be built on flood plains the Green party were bringing in rules to govern this.
Secondly, with the first sign of radiation Mr Gormley would put a 24 point emergency plan in place which would be drawn up within a matter of weeks and implemented over the space of a week.

smokedeels

Sykk wrote: »

Obligatory use Mary Harney to plug the hole post

Mary please, There will be time for the frozen pudding wagon later. You still owe me ten more Iroquois Twists.

orourkeda

Biffo would have blasted it with piss.

Problem solved

Haelium

Regardless of leadership, how would Ireland deal with it? The Japanese cleared the roads, that's important in emergencies, have the roads cleared for ambulances etc. in Ireland I don't think that would happen.

If the same thing happened in Ireland, even if we had a fascist government giving out orders that make sense it would be the end for us.

Dyr

Bertie: "But me stadium's still okay though yeah?"

Run_to_da_hills

jetsonx wrote: »

If Ireland has a nuclear reactor that was melting down. How would Fat Brian Cowen and Lying Brian Lenihan have dealt with it?

Both of them would have taken their flutes out and would have tried to pi*ss on it to put it out.

mconigol

Cowen was born in a nuclear reactor wasn't he? I'd assume he'd be immune to the radiation?

ART6

Brian Cowen would insist that no-one told him the damned thing was melting down. Confronted with civil service reports of the previous year stating that melt-down was imminent he would argue that none of those reports said it actually was melting down.

Brian Lenihan would claim that the situation was well under control and that a corner had been turned without indicating what the corner was or where it lead. The radiation leaks, he would insist, had been contained and will be sold to the EU in return for substantial funds. However, it would transpire that the canned radiation had been handed to the EU in return for a bail-out loan to be repaid by the Irish taxpayer at eight percent interest per hour.

Gormley would insist that it was all the last FG/Labour government's fault as a result of their allowing the reactor to be built upon a lesser crested newt.

Turtyturd

Constantly pumped money into it in the hope it would have solved the problem.

Or market it as free chemotherapy for all.

maninasia

It wasn't us..it twas the Lehmans Bros that did it...

Eutow

Standing on a beach in the Canary Islands but with one of those green screens behind him with a picture of the Dail, he will say that the plant is not melting, it is the aurora borealis.

With huge flames now engulfing the plant, he will then claim it's just the northern lights.

After radiation readings are reported to be thousands and thousands above internationally safe standards, Cowen finally admits that yes, there has been a nuclear meltdown at the plant, but that it will be limited to a mere three mile island. With Galway - 100 miles away from the meltdown reporting radiation readings to be thousands and thousands above internationally safe standards, Cowen is forced to admit that the meltdown is worse than was thought, but he tries to ease the country's fears by reminding us of those iodine tablets sent to us ten years ago.