dentlyR fibrosis

LegacyUser

Hi all,

ok - my head is fried. I recently started internet dating. I met a guy and we have been on 4 dates. I really like him but I am not sure how he feels. Sometimes I think he does - sometimes I do not.
He is still on line - and when ever I see him on my stomach does a flip.
Then again, I am on line too (but just out of habit more than anything).

Is this how it is on the internet? You meet someone but its hard to know the score as both could still be on line? My head is melted. I do not wanna text him as I do not want to appear like a freak.

Miss Fluff

You seriously need to relax. You've had four dates with the guy. It's very very early days. Take a step back and see where this leads. Unless you have had a discussion about exclusivity and have agreed not to date other people then you kind of need to accept that you're both free agents still.

flowerchild

Perhaps you are a freak and your challenge is to be more self-accepting.

Do what feels right. There is no right answer. But be courteous to the other person as well.

shellyboo

Why would you be a freak for texting him? If he text you, would you think he was a freak?

Calm down. Text him. Date him. See what happens. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, move on. Not every relationship can be THE relationship!

supremenovice

I know what you mean about figuring out if someone likes you from internet dating.
I was on a date recently and I liked her but its so hard to know is there
chemistry or were we just being friendly. Hard to gauge if shes interested in seeing me again. I have a habit of just breing friendly instead of being interested romantically. Ill probably text her and just casually drop in word of meeting up again and see what the response is.
OP - Id say best thing is to try be as cool as possible and dont
be too disheartened if it doesnt work out. Ive a feeling mine is going to go that way. Ill probably pack in the online dating if it does, been on it too long now and getting fed up.
Best of luck.

LegacyUser

really? how many dates have ye been on?

so people, how do i find out whether or not he is interested or not? i hate this waiting around for him to get in touch. Should I just ask him straight out or wait it out?

LegacyUser

Hi op,

I feel for you as I was in the same situation this time last year.. Met current boyfriend online and we were both online for six months after we met! Combination of things but as it emerged neither of us actually dated anyone else.. but just didn't want to be the first to go offline.. I think we hid our profiles after three months.

It used to really really bother me though when I'd see him online, particularly after an amazing date/weekend together.. It was actually very detrimental to trust in the relationship to be honest.. But I think it's just one of those things.. It bothered me for ages and I think eventually after about three months I steered the conversation around to hiding our profiles.. we both said we would .. And he did -- eventually! Then we deleted them after another few months..

While I know it's not nice.. but you know if he's mad into you he could be thinking the same about you. Or he could just be on out of habit like you are.. It's a tough one.. To be honest I'd say try another few dates and a bit more time but if it continues to bother you just say it to him .. ie 'are you seeing other people'? or even something like that you noticed him online.. how are the other dates going? (if you're sarcastically inclined).. Something jokey might work but if it's bothering you, bring it up..

To be honest though to reiterate I think it's an awful pain and something that is unique to internet dating.. (ie you could have met a guy in a bar and sure he could be out in bars having a look at other women since but you don't have to know!).. It's a definite downside.. but I guess the upside is you met someone nice.. And it's probably best not to get in to something too fast anyhow.. so if it'll work out it will as long as you don't make it a big issue..

Good luck!

supremenovice

wwwheadmelt wrote: »

really? how many dates have ye been on?

so people, how do i find out whether or not he is interested or not? i hate this waiting around for him to get in touch. Should I just ask him straight out or wait it out?

Ive met 5 or 6 girls over the last couple of years.
No disasters but nothing to write home about. There are some success stories of course but I dont think its for me.

The fact he still hasnt been in touch is a red flag. Either hes playing it incredibly cool, which you probably shouldnt put up with, or hes plainly not interested. I think youll just have to ask him out and lay it out, in a not too pushy manner of course, which would just scare him off.
Good Luck with it.

LegacyUser

thanks again for the replies.

@ tester - what you have said makes a lot of sense. I guess I just forgot to keep it real. Of course he could be doing the same as me.
He has asked me out again so I guess I can look on this as an opportunity to just see how it goes and ignore whether he is on line or not. I guess that is an internet dating hazard. And you are right - it is early days and should not rush into anything.

wish me luck,..

flikflak

The score is you are both out meeting new people which is the point of a dating website. There is no commitment from either party and you should see this period of dating as just having fun going out and spending time with someone you are enjoying getting to know.

4 dates is too early to be removing your profile I think. You are going out again you say so that should be an indicator that he is enjoying spending time with you.

If you are uncomfortable with having an active profile while dating this guy then just hide yours but that is your own decision and if he does not want to hide his then thats his decision.

Some people can go out and date a few people at once and keep their options open and others cant - its a personal decision.

Once things move into the bedroom then this should be the time to be hiding/removing profiles. If he does not hide/remove his profile once he is sleeping with you then I would be a bit suspicious.

LegacyUser

Oh - things have moved into the bedroom.. did so on the last date.

I do not think he is a serial dater but in case I am wrong, I would not be at all happy if I thought he was sleeping with others as well as me.
So, should i say something to him with regards to this? Preferably before the date as I do not want to spoil our night out. What ye think?

coco_lola

I would do it light heartedly, maybe just something easy going such as "so have you met anyone else as fantastic as me from the site" or something like that, keep it light, once the talks get serious early on, men tend to shut down or bolt.

I would agree though that the boundaries would need to be set, ie is he sleeping just with you or is he seeing others. That I would need to clarify and would most certainly not be comfortable with if he was sleeping with others.

Another option would be to just mention in convo that you are thinking of hiding/deactivating (not deleting) your profile cause you aren't really using it and you're dating one guy that has caught your attention.. see where it goes from there... keep it light!

I am a friend

wwwheadmelt wrote: »

Oh - things have moved into the bedroom.. did so on the last date.

I do not think he is a serial dater but in case I am wrong, I would not be at all happy if I thought he was sleeping with others as well as me.
So, should i say something to him with regards to this? Preferably before the date as I do not want to spoil our night out. What ye think?

OP, with all these things you should be chilled out til you have both decided you are an item. Sleeping with him so soon as just made you more anxious about where this is going and seems to have made him less interested... Read other posts - this is what very often happens..... See what happens with this guy and for the next time dont jump into bed with him, if you cant handle being a 'one night stand' or it going nowhere...

LegacyUser

is sex on the third too soon?

When you have had long term relationships and used to a sex life, it is kinda difficult to kiss without it going further - what to you think?