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Silly Weekend jokes

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  • 02-04-2011 12:44pm
    #1
    mahamageehad
    Registered Users Posts: 4,673 ✭✭✭


    An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
    "Yes."
    "Oui."
    "Sí."
    "Ja."

    _________________________________________________________

    I can't believe it. Me and my wife were sitting watching TV when the founder of Apple just walked into the house and took all our Mr Sheen!

    ****ing Jobs, coming over here and stealing our polish.

    __________________________________________________________


    I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job."

    "Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?"

    "Do you want a hand job?"

    She's a keeper.

    _________________________________________________________

    I was dating a vegetarian stripper but she broke up with me because she said I was always insinuating about her lifestyle.

    All I did was dress her salad.

    __________________________________________________________

    I sell balloons for 10c each or if you want them blown up it's 15c.
    I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation.


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