So... What now?

strobe

Ok, some of you will know me, some won't. I post on here and in the A&A section a lot. I would have called myself an 'atheist' for a long time. I started using the word for myself after I read a book by Richard Dawkins, I didn't really know what it was called before then, to be someone that denied the existence of God. But I read the book and it seemed to make sense to me that that was what I was.

So that is the label I have put on myself for the past few years. I think agnostic probably would have been better suited, because I didn't really deny there was a God... I just didn't know if I could bring myself to believe in one.

But I have continued to post on here and I have continued to 'stay in touch' with Christianity. I initially told myself it was because I knew the answers, because I knew the religion I was raised in was wrong and I wanted other people to realise it too. But that's not the truth. The truth, I'm starting to think, is I was just drawn to Christians, to people that had a good understanding of Christianity, drawn to God through his people I guess. Because I just felt... I dunno, content(?) after having the chance to talk to people that believed, without them ridiculing the subject straight off without having any real understanding of what it was really about. At least what I used to believe it was really about at one time. Rather than any proper rational reasons for doubting God I think what I repelled against was a dislike I had for Christianity itself... that is to say, what Christianity to misrepresented to me as.

The truth is I really, I mean deep down, I really feel I never totally separated from my faith. It meant a lot to me at one time and I think it could again, maybe.

If I am honest it became easier and easier to live a life outside of Christianity the longer I did it. It was never really the 'in thing' to be religious, to be proud of being religious. It would have meant going against what was considered 'cool' or 'popular'. So even when I felt I could maybe come back towards it, there were always reasons not to. What my friends would think about it. What people in school would say. Even just the fact that I (I think mistakenly) felt I would be missing out...

But to be honest I just don't really care anymore. I am not happy living this lifestyle anymore and I just want to live how I know Christ intended me to, at least some way towards how Christ lived.

I'm not going to lie and say I had an epiphany. That I felt the touch of God. I just know that I want to again... if it's not too late for me.

So... What now? Where do I go from here? I was raised Catholic but because I drifted from that I am not sure that it is the path I was meant to walk for God. I have tried to involve myself in the church again but I just didn't feel it, ye know? But I have never known anything else. It was Catholic, then 'atheist' then here.

I don't want to lose the 'momentum' I have built up. I don't want to drift again. So... What now?

Donatello

You might like to link up with Youth 2000 if you are aged between 18-35. It's really the only major group for young Catholics in Ireland. Of course, there are other groups, including those I do not know about. It is good to have friends in the faith, and it can help in your faith life of prayer and study. For that, there are lots of good books, websites, and EWTN is excellent too.

I also recommend the Word on Fire website, with audio sermons and articles.

I'll remember you and your intentions in my Rosary tonight.

PDN

This forum could be a good place to share your insights about your reborn faith with other Christians - at least it will be once your 1-year forum ban expires. So see you one year from today, which would be the 1st of April 2012.

JimiTime

Sorry Strobe, but these threads appear every year around this date for some reason;)

Zombrex

Man I cannot believe I fell for that. What was that about atheists being smarter than theists....:(

Keylem

Wicknight wrote: »

Man I cannot believe I fell for that. What was that about atheists being smarter than theists....:(

'Cunning' would be the word! Heck even the Devil is known to be cunning!

Anyhoo Happy April Fools!

Donatello

Ah be careful strobe. You had me, but you know there was a man, Genesius of Rome, an actor, and he mocked Christians. One day, whilst messing around on stage, he imitated baptism, and he powerfully experienced the grace of God and was converted! He was killed not long afterwards for his belief. He is now a saint.

Turtwig

While this might be chalked up as a crafty ApFs, I think this post reveals more about strobe than s/he'd like to admit. Deep down in his internal subconscious he is in turmoil. He does not know it yet, but that post above was the first sign of his subconscious beginning to revolt.

AhSureTisGrand

Donatello wrote: »

Ah be careful strobe. You had me, but you know there was a man, Genesius of Rome, an actor, and he mocked Christians. One day, whilst messing around on stage, he imitated baptism, and he powerfully experienced the grace of God and was converted! He was killed not long afterwards for his belief. He is now a saint.

You're warning him against believing in God?

strobe

Malty_T wrote: »

While this might be chalked up as a crafty ApFs, I think this post reveals more about strobe than s/he'd like to admit. Deep down in his internal subconscious he is in turmoil. He does not know it yet, but that post above was the first sign of his subconscious beginning to revolt.

Well technically this was the first sign of my subconscious beginning to revolt.

strobe

Donatello wrote: »

Ah be careful strobe. You had me.

Apologies Donatello. I'm sure no rosary goes to waste.

strobe

AhSureTisGrand wrote: »

You're warning him against believing in God?

I think he was just warning me so that I won't be too shocked if I am suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit after 'tempting fate', so to speak.

lmaopml

Strobe, your op made me cry about 'the lost' that are finally 'found' *sheds tear* ...and the sincerity was, well...so sincere! You should phone Vincent Brown right now and be a star...

Still though, perhaps you have a LOT of interest in the 'Christianity' forum more than is healthy for an atheist, such 'understanding' must run fairly deep no? Hmmmmmmnnnn, I wonder....

Happy April fools!

strobe

lmaopml wrote: »

Strobe, your op made me cry about 'the lost' that are finally 'found' *sheds tear* ...and the sincerity was, well...so sincere! You should phone Vincent Brown right now and be a star...

Still though, perhaps you have a LOT of interest in the 'Christianity' forum more than is healthy for an atheist, such 'understanding' must run fairly deep no? Hmmmmmmnnnn, I wonder....

Happy April fools!