Anyone else do this in a public toilet..

FesterBeatty

You know when you're in the 1 cubicle in a public jacks, theres a load of people outside either waiting on you to finish or using the urinals, and you need to drop a big hefty fudge dragon but you dont want anyone to hear...so you pick your moment carefully..wait until the tap outside stops running, because you know the perfect window of opportunity is just around the corner. And then, relief, the hand dryer goes off...nobody can hear you so you let fly with a big stonkin mud monkey! The perfect crime!

admiralofthefleet

you shouldnt wait for someone to use the dryer, just use a 'firemans blanket' of bum wad to cushion the dreadnought when it leaves your baloon knot

chin_grin

*waits for Flutter*

FesterBeatty

That still doesnt cover up the fart thats required to punch out the duke

effluent

I actualy wait until its quiet.

Voodoomelon

I have been known to use the splash suppressor, also known as a hand dryer.

KeithM89_old

Shitting on the floor doesnt make much noise. Just sayin...

RichieC

fill the jacks with boggy and try not to let farts out the sides of the poo.

ScumLord

FesterBeatty wrote: »

That still doesnt cover up the fart thats required to punch out the duke

The fart is the real problem as it echoes around the jacks. Use a wad of toilet paper as a silencer. It'll just sound like a creaky door.

FesterBeatty

If its a big splattery load of anal gravy though you're in trouble

Turtyturd

I thought cubicles were only there for people to piss on the seat.

leddpipe

chin_grin wrote: »

*waits for Flutter*

my thoughts exonkly lol :pac:

Redlion

Turtyturd wrote: »

I thought cubicles were only there for people to piss on the seat.

I hate when ya go into a cubicle and see piss all over a seat, and there's a queue outside. You're hardly gonna try clean it up, so when ya leave ya look like ya have aiming issues, and an inability to use tissue paper to clean it up. Although, this is a rinse and repeat feeling for everyone that uses it afterwards

FesterBeatty

with piss when you're in a public toilet and you need to drop a chocolate hotdog.

Do you:

1. Hover
2. Give it a good wipe with a hape of bogroll
3. Hauld on to er til ye get home.

admiralofthefleet

are you into scat?

RichieC

Honestly I'd walk home to have a sh*te before I use a public, I'm careful and regular enough that it literally hasn't happened me in 15 years.

Saila

paiging flutt to AH

starbelgrade

Blast it with more piss.

effluent

Put many layers of toilet paper on the seat and take it off, that way i dont touch piss

Revolution9

Blast it with $hit?

starbelgrade

effluent wrote: »

Put many layers of toilet paper on the seat and take it off, that way i dont touch piss

Toilet paper.

Kills all known germs.

Dead.

OPENROAD

Don't do public toilets for a poo

RichieC

OPENROAD wrote: »

Don't do public toilets for a poo

like meself, a Mozart of sh*teing.

Rabies

No need for two threads of the same nature.

Post in the " toilet functions and bowel movements " forum next time