It's too hard...

LegacyUser

My boyfriend & I broke up a month ago & I still haven't even begun to get over him.

I'm not eating properly, barely sleeping & am just crying non-stop through the night.

Everyone I've turned to for advice has said the same thing to me "Oh he's an idiot" which doesn't help me in the slightest. It just makes me feel worse.
I've spoken to him maybe 5 times in the past month (which was a huge change because we would speak all the time when we were together) but he's been really harsh towards me the times we spoke, for which he has since apologized but it gets worse, because, there are all these different woman flirting with him on social networking sites, it's upsetting me so much that I've had to block him to stop seeing it constantly.

I used to be this happy, bubbly woman & now I just feel empty & I don't want to do anything but lie in bed thinking that dying would be less painful than this.

I don't know what to do with myself.
I'm just completely & utterly heartbroken.

G86

I know everyone says it, but it does get better.

If he's being harsh with you then you're best to avoid speaking to him at all, at least for now. Maybe he's behaving that way because he doesn't want to give you any false hope that you'll get back together.

Try to focus on keeping yourself busy, and just remember that there's nothing wrong with having a good cry - you've had your heart broken, and it's not going to be easy to mend. But it will, eventually it will. Try to remember the reasons that you weren't happy, and to realise that you can be happier now without him in your life. You don't need another person to make you happy, you're a strong person and you can do it on your own

dublingal80

*hugs*
im sorry to hear what you are going through. Its so hard isnt it? Myself and my ex broke up after 4 years last summer and like you I couldnt eat or anything.. It was the shock mainly that had me feeling that way. At the time I was devastated and we said we would remain friends, and it was him that would be in touch. Yeah we talked a bit, I made sure it was just on FB Chat or MSN or something like that. Never a phonecall. It would have been too hard.. and as the weeks went on it did get easier... I made sure I kept myself busy and saw friends and just went out and started having fun again.

I know it sounds hard to do right now cos you miss him like crazy but firstly, im glad you blocked him from whatever sites... you dont need to see that right now. 2, if he calls you, dont answer. Why talk to him if he is making you feel miserable

Its time for you to take control. Start looking after number one. See if some friends are free to go out this weekend, even to the cinema or over to your hosue for pizza and food. Just anything that would be a bit of fun and i promise you, it will get better

IrishEyes19

It will get better, OP, but a month is such a short time, it will be a while before you are yourself again. Do you feel strong enough to delete him from the social networking sites, seeing other women flirt with him is only only rubbing salt into your wounds, OP, it wont help.

I know people telling you he's an idiot isnt helping, but what else can they say, certainly not that he's a great guy or confused. these are just friends trying to comfort you. Try, OP, to move on, delete, delete, delete. its the only way forward in my opinion.

suicide_circus

i'm in month 8 of not being over my ex so i'm the wrong person to advise....
just keep acting normal and hope the the feelings of hurt and loss go away.

Ickle Magoo

First things first, you need to LET yourself move on and get over him - by cutting contact. Then you need to throw yourself into your own life, call your friends up and get going out, go shopping, visit home and get a hug from your mum. Do whatever you need to do to feel better but keeping contact and following who is flirting is not going to help you.

No relationship is perfect, while he may not be an idiot and you friends saying that may not be helping, they have the right idea. You have to stop looking at the relationship and him unless to do so critically, telling yourself how wonderful it all was isn't going to help matters - remind yourself what you didn't like and what he did that annoyed you and revel in the fact you don't have to put up with that any more.

It does get easier, the best cure for a broken heart is time.

All the best. :cool:

Rufus the brave

These things take time. You'll just have to give it time sister!