How to ask a girl to the Debs?

DaCoolPreacher

I'm a Leaving Cert student and my Debs is coming up this July. I'm beginning to get really worried about asking a girl because most of the girls I'm good friends with are already going with somebody else. I go to an all boys school and pretty much all the girls I know go to the all girls school next door. Unfortunately, our two schools share the one debs so asking a girl to my debs is asking her to her own debs really. The chances of me getting rejected are now really really high. What should I do?

It doesn't make your chances of being rejected higher, it makes them lower. I'd bet you anything that 50% of the girls in the other school are scared they wont have anyone to go with. They're already going to the debs, you just have to say "wanna go together?". Your job is made much easier by the fact that you don't actually have to ask a girl out, you just have to ask a girl that's already going if she wants to go with you. The thing is with a debs it's not like asking someone out on a date, you don't have to get someone to want to go out with you, you just need to get someone to want to go to the debs. It can be a mate date if you want, there's absolutely no pressure.

The key is to not care if the person says no. You have lots of choices, lots of options. The worst thing you can do is pin your hopes on one person. If someone says no it's really not a big deal, just say "ah alright so, thanks". Move on to the next girl. If it ends up that you don't have someone to go with, say if you were too nervous to ask a few girls or the other lads all got in there before you, just go, it's not a big deal to go by yourself. A good few people I know went to the debs with a mate of theirs and ended up getting with someone else when they got there. You could easily go by yourself but pick up a girl there (not someones gf obviously).

A19B1C12

Just ask whoever you want, I had no real 'romantic options' but asked a random girl in the school across the way for the craic,only talked to her once or twice before that but she seemed easygoing.

We're now good friends, it honestly doesnt matter just ask whomever you want and I'd say theres an 80% chance theyll say yes unless theyre stuck up or holding out for a specific person.

Staplor

Just get chatting ask if they're going with anyone, if no then ask them, just suck it up and do it, I was petrified for mine but just sucked it up and asked someone (you could always ask someone from the year below too).

DaCoolPreacher

ok thanks for the advice guys, the only thing is, I wouldnt be brave enough to ask a girl unless I knew somebody hadnt already asked them...

Overheal

DaCoolPreacher wrote: »

ok thanks for the advice guys, the only thing is, I wouldnt be brave enough to ask a girl unless I knew somebody hadnt already asked them...

Cobblesquat! Who has already asked her is about as important as what she had for lunch last week. If you like a girl, ask her. Imagine if one of the girls you know (and like) is just going with someone because they asked first? Maybe they were waiting for you to ask them and you just sat on it too long? You shouldn't be afraid to show an interest.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

krd

Get your mother to call them.

You'd be surprised - it usually works. If you don't understand how it might work - you do not understand Ireland or the culture of this strange Island.

Staplor

Permabear is right, you need a female spy, just like in Teen Movies, someone to figure out who hasn't got a date.

DaCoolPreacher

ok, I'm in a real sitauation now. Every girl im good friends with, already has a date and most of the girls are taken

It's because you waited so long!

At this stage, it might be worth a shot to just put up on Facebook (assuming you have one) "Left it too late to grab a debs date, any girls up for coming with me? It's gonna be a good night out!"

If EVERY girl you know already has a date, just tell them you don't have a date and could they spread it for you that you're looking to get one. They might sort it out for ya.

Seriously though, stuff like this you gotta just take the bull by the horns. Luck favours the brave.

I went to an all girls school, so I was one of 120 girls all looking for lads for the same night. Unlike your position there wasn't a lads school that would contain lots of potential dates. Because we went to an all girls school, other than the lads that lived near us we didn't even know many guys. I was down the pub, there were three lads at the table with me and two other girls, and I just said, "here lads, the debs is in a few months, any of you fancy going with me as a mate date?" They were all willing to, it wasn't a huge deal. You just have to ask.

karaokeman

DaCoolPreacher wrote: »

ok, I'm in a real sitauation now. Every girl im good friends with, already has a date and most of the girls are taken

Are you absolutely sure that every girl you know already has a date?

Usually there is a handful of people who don't have a date before the summer. They are mainly people like you, some girls didn't have the courage to ask a lad and are still waiting on someone to pop the question.

If everyone's taken, maybe you could ask one of your close friends if they have any female friends outside the girls school or friends of their dates who could hook up with you.

There will always be someone left.

legendal

I was nervous as hell before I asked my date for the evening along. I'd planned in advance how I'd say it - in my case it was 'you know how you were saying you hadn't much to do for the summer? How'd you like another debs to go to?'

And do you know what happened? She was chuffed. She said yes, we went, and we'd a great night. And do you know what's more? It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, because you'll all go your separate ways a few weeks later in college and you'll never have to see them again if you don't want to

I know it can be tough, but if you can bring yourself to actually doing it you'll feel proud of yourself for doing it afterwards. It'll be a little confidence boost, and that'll stand to you.

FoxT

Identify the girl that you would really, really, like to go out with, and ask her.
Even if you already have the impression that she has a partner for the night, ask her anyway. ( Many girls & boys will be bluffing about whether they have partners or not)

If she declines, then identify the next person, and repeat.

This is hard , but it guarantees that you will end up going out for the night with one of the girls you truly like.

Here's a few reasons why I think this is a good strategy:
- Maximises the chances that you achieve what you want.
- By having a clear goal beforehand you will be more confident
- You have a good chance of being successful!
- Fortune favours the brave.

Best of luck!

-FoxT

Placebo

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk4zquR44j1qzc9qxo1_500.jpg

Victoria.

You're not in an ideal situation but it's not the worst. Your debs is about 2 months away so the girl still wouldn't feel like you're asking her at the last minute so don't worry. Some people leave it to the week before :S Don't give up now and have to do that because definitely the girl will then feel like your last option.

Just whatever you do don't keep putting it off because it'll just creep up on you. Girls like to have a good luck around for a dress and have some time to organise everything. It can take ages to get a nice dress so you don't want to put the girl in a position to find a dress and get hair, make-up, tan appointments a week or 2 beforehand it isn't fair to her.

I was a bit like yourself last year although I was a girl asking a guy.
I wanted to bring this particular guy in my school so I asked him after putting it off for ages and it turned out he wasn't even going to our school's debs. Maybe if I had asked him earlier he would have gone so that was annoying. After thinking I'd be going with him then I started freaking out big time as I stupidly presumed it all would have been fine.

I asked around my best friends at school and I decided to bring along a guy that I know quite well, not as a date but as a friend and he was a friend of most people in our group. It worked really well I had a great night and so did he because he didn't have to follow me around all the time because he knew the others too.

I would definitely go with this option if you can as I worked out great for me. Just ask your friends if they could come up with anyone but do it tomorrow don't wait.

Choc Affair

Placebo wrote: »

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk4zquR44j1qzc9qxo1_500.jpg

thats so cute!!:D

DaCoolPreacher

So there is this girl who I am on a 'hello how are you' basis with. She goes to a completely different school and therefore hasnt been asked to my debs.

Tonight i asked her to come with me. I got a gutting response: 'Ill think about it.'