Help!!! I prefer my sex toys to my boyfriend!!

LegacyUser

Hey I'm having some trouble with my boyfriend and wondered if I could get some advice!!

Basically we've been together for three years and our sex life has been very good. We both used to have sex quite often (once a day usually sometimes more sometimes less) and Ive always enjoyed it. However I'm never able to um finish if you know what I mean. From normal sex I really like it but I'm not ever able to come from it but Ive always been ok with that. I know a lot of women are in the same position where its really really nice but theyll never orgasm from it so its fine. Now usually he will use um other parts of his body before we get to the sex which does give me an orgasm and thats great.

Thing is recently a girlfriend of mine convinced me to get a jessica rabbit from lovehoney so I did. When I first took it out I thought "this cant be that great" but when I used it I just went WOW. It was the best thing Id ever felt tbh which I know is completely normal but when I told my BF (I bought it without telling him cos I didnt think it was his business really) he seemed a little upset. He said all the right things and that but I know him well enough to tell him his signals that he was upset.

The problems started when I realised how great the toy was. I know this is going to sound bad so please dont judge me but its just better than my BF quite simply. Hes good enough in bed and does nothing wrong (I always get what Im looking for from oral with him if you know what I mean) but the toy just does it better. It feels much nicer in the buildup and it feels much nicer when um the moment arrives to! Im a very turned on person and now Ive discovered toys I cant get enough. Ive already ordered some more but now I dont really want sex so much.

Dont get me wrong I still like sex with my BF because the feeling of being close to him and seeing him enjoying himself is something the toy cant give me but I just dont need that so much. The thing I find myself wanting most is the feeling and the orgasm which the toy just does better. The emotional stuff I do want but not as much. So where before we were having sex once a day usually we now only have sex probably twice a week but I'm using my rabbit at least once a day (so more often than we were having sex before). Originally I told my boyfriend that my sex drive had just dropped and he seemed ok with that but now I think hes realised that actually I'm more horny than ever to be honest just not with him.

I dont know what to do. At the moment Ive stopped using the toy to make him happier. Hes never said anything is wrong and hes never got angry or shouted about the toy but I know him well enough to see that it really bothers him. I think the lack of sex is getting to him but I dont know what to do. Now Ive felt what a toy can do I dont think I can ever enjoy sex in that way again. I still love sex for the bonding and intimacy but as far as getting off goes I could never go to my BF for that when I know I have a toy upstairs that does it a million times better. And the problem is that its the getting off that I want more than anything. When I'm having sex with him all I'm thinking is I wish I had my toy because it would feel so much better.

We did try once to use the toy together but that made him feel uncomfortable. Basically he watched me use the toy and saw how much I enjoyed it and not him (he says he could tell how much better it was for me than anything he can do which made him sad) and then afterwards I was acting really bored and not getting into the sex at all. And the thing is hes right I was acting bored not deliberately but just because the sex wasnt as great as the toy so I naturally wasnt as into it anymore.

I dont know what to do. Is there a way to make me hate the toy so I like sex like I used to? Or could I get my BF something that would feel better than me so he would use that and then I wouldnt feel guilty because hed be doing the same thing. Its not a problem with our relationship because as I said I know my BFs good in bed just that my body prefers the toy and I think that would be the same with any man I was with!!

Thanks for reading and sorry for such a long post I'm just a bit strung out at the moment!!

shotcaller

Hi BT,

Unfortunately, I was going to suggest the two of you using the toy together but it seems like you've tried that. Fair play for that.

Another suggestion I have is, why not use the toy on yourself while pleasuring him. You could kinda make the whole event about him, while, if you use the toy on yourself, have your fun too.

Or possibly ask him what kinds of fantasy he's in to and if his answers don't freak you out (:) ) you could give them a try. It's my opinion that you (not you you, one) should be as giving in bed (or wherever! ) as one feels comfortable being and if the other person really wants it, the partner should at least give it one try before ruling it out. As long as it's in a loving and secure relationship, natch.

I have one more suggestion but it might be a bit more graphic than is allowed on here so you could pm me if you want. Or I could put it in a spoiler or something.

Angeles

Honestly op, i think by reading over your post you should already know what do to.

Look you have 2 choices.

1.Throw the toy in the bin, its meant to be an aid, not a substitute, your oh doesn't agree with it so bin it? its very likely he is already suffering because not only are his needs being ignored, he is also being compared to a vibrator..... god i actually can't even word how bad that it.

2.Throw out the BF, why keep him around when you have this amazing toy? Infact this in truth might be a good lesson for you later down the line when the toy stops working and you find yourself alone and unable to actually stimulate yourself, at all... did i mention alone?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Think it would be pretty selfish to continue using the toy instead of him. Why not have sex with him once a day and use the toy twice a week instead?

Hypothetically speaking, if he was using prostitutes instead of you how would you feel? (assuming they didn't carry diseases)

shotcaller

The OP is not limited to those two, rather unhelpful, options.

I don't want to be putting words in the OP's mouth but I doubt if she loves the toy as much as her OH. Sexual feelings are not love.

People come here for support and advice, not criticism and moral judgement.

Edit: I was replying to the post from Angeles, not Bottle of Smoke.

LegacyUser

The problems started when I realised how great the toy was. I know this is going to sound bad so please dont judge me but its just better than my BF quite simply.

And in other news water is wet ! This is perfectly normal. You and the toys are just having a honeymoon. As much as many men prefer porn to
I would suggest a few things.
Firstly a rampant rabbit is not a good couples toy. Some lads can get intimidated by the knob-bit. With the two of you, use something smaller like a clit stimulator that can be worn on the finger. It is a lot less obtrusive and noisy.
Secondly, you've got to have a bit of tact. Right now you are in the honeymoon phase with the toys but that won't last. Keep it on the low down how much you love it. I often think women are the same with toys as men are about porn. A bit of tact goes a long way.
And remember a vibrator can't kiss or give you that body contact so don't make the fella feel useless.
I ended up throwing my RR out as it was making me lazy. It's the same way as porn can make people go off real sex. Too much is not good. I can cum from penetration, him using his hands or playing with my nipples but when I got the vibrator I didn't bother making the effort as much during sex.

Sleepy

Maybe try looking at the vibrating rings they have on Lovehoney for couples to use together? I can, eh, personally recommmend them

LegacyUser

Dump the vibrator quick! You will become too used to it and will begin to associate it too much with reaching orgasm, meaning that without it you may psychologically come to depend on it..Having met a girl who always brought out the vibrator to reach orgasm it became intrusive and made me feel like "why am i here, just leave her to use it", so consider your current bf's feelings too...he's been replaced by a plastic battery powered toy!!

However...

You may want to just dump the boyfriend, no point in keeping on a man who does not sexually fufill you, ok he's a nice guy, sex is ok, blah blah, but he is obviously not lighting your fire...and i am sure there are plenty more men out there more sexually compatible with you...

Ickle Magoo

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Many thanks.
Ickle

prinz

boyfriend troubles wrote: »

I dont know what to do. Is there a way to make me hate the toy so I like sex like I used to?!!

You could just throw it out.

boyfriend troubles wrote: »

Or could I get my BF something that would feel better than me so he would use that and then I wouldnt feel guilty because hed be doing the same thing.

That's not going to make for a healthy sex-life. At all. You are relegating your OH, not just sexually (which you freely admit) but also emotionally (which you also acknowledge). You know him well enough to realise it really bothers him, but basically you are tossing up between 'wanting to hate it' (still don't see why you couldn't bin it)... and getting him how own toy/whatever on the side? What if that starts to bother you? What if that bothers him more?

If I was him I would be going, if not gone. Simple, how would you feel if he was masturbating to porn on a daily basis and made it clear that you just 'didn't do it' for him anymore..

Sleepy

Why not simply try to teach him how to make you feel the way the vibrator does>?

cafecolour

Sleepy wrote: »

Maybe try looking at the vibrating rings they have on Lovehoney for couples to use together? I can, eh, personally recommmend them

Yeah, as above - it's likely the phallus part that's putting him out, not the clitoral stimulation. Get him something to stimulate your clit while he's ****ing you.