How do couples get together?

LegacyUser

Mutual attraction just does not happen in my life. Or at least the guys I fancy, are never attracted to me enough to want more than a one-night thing. And the guys I attract are never the ones I am attracted to.

Some background...I'm 26, long brown hair and green eyes, considered quite attractive but by no means your typical 'hot girl'. I'm chatty, friendly, ambitious, smart, don't carry any real baggage as my relationship history is pretty fickle.

Case in point, last weekend I met a guy who I really, really liked...right down my street looks, personality, height, humour-wise etc...and no contact since. He was all over me during our date and we ended up spending the whole night kissing, cuddling, talking...yet he's ignored my follow-up text and has just disappeared off the radar.

Before that, I was casually seeing a guy who I never really managed to develop feelings for. I wasn't even that attracted to him but it was a one-night-stand that turned into an f buddy situation of sorts. Eventually I call it a day and of course his feelings intensify and he ends up expressing his undying love for me. It never really got off the ground, I determined there was just no chemistry there and yet this happens.

What is it about me? Part of me feels like maybe I am going for guys who are 'out of my league' looks wise...and it's these guys who only want to fool around but will never see me as girlfriend material. And the guys I attract...are less 'good looking' to be PC about it...so maybe they think I am more on their level? My head is just all over the place.

But then I can't help who I'm attracted to and this just happens over and over again, it's really chipping away at my self esteem. I'm generally quite an independent person, very ambitious and successful and self-reliant but the rejection from this last guy has made me feel so alone. I want a guy like him so badly in my life, but I don't want to get in the habit of settling for second best for the sake of having SOMEBODY. That's not who I am and I'd rather be alone.

Does anyone find themselves in the same position? I know no-one can tell me without knowing me/seeing me in action, but what the hell could the possible reasons for this be? I'm never clingy, I don't throw myself at men...in fact it was the guy who made the move last week...what do I need to change? Or is this just dating and do I just need to lighten up??

LegacyUser

My god OP i could have written this myself!!

I have been feeling exactly the same way of late....Like you I'd be fairly easygoing when it comes to relationships, not at all clingy etc etc, kinda just like to let things happen as they will.....I've found recently that I'm getting attention from all the wrong places - i.e if i fancy someone its not reciprocated yet the lads that i wouldn't have much interest in show lots of interest in me... Has got me thinking am i aiming too high - which i dont think i am as I'm not the superficial type who goes for the conventionally 'good looking' man, just certain personality traits attract me....but then like you say we cant help who we're attracted to so why settle?

I don't think there's any answer to your question - i dont think there's anything you can change, i mean your personal feelings are your personal feelings! I just keep telling myself it will happen when it happens. Like you there's no way i could ever settle for someone i was just 'meh' about. I just couldn't do it. I'm not the type that needs a man to validate my life, yes sometimes i think it would be nice to have a boyfriend but at the same time there's no way i could just be with someone just because he likes me & show interest just for the sake of not feeling alone! Have seen some of my friends settling & i think to myself it is just one thing i could never do....

At the end of the day everyone is different and has different preferences, there is someone out there who will love you for who you are - regardless of how 'good looking' they may be.

Hang in there OP, & I know you'll meet the right person eventually - hopefully sooner rather than later....for some of us we just have to meet a lot of wrong people first

magneticimpulse

Sorry I cant give advice, but im in the same boat as well. It would be interesting to know what to do.

I suppose the thing im trying to do now is not try too hard, not to even bother looking...heres hoping that works

HugoDrax

You are looking for the right guy so don't compromise just because relationships don't work out the way you want them to.

Inevitably you are going to meet guys who seem perfect but are not interested in anything more than sex and you are also going to meet guys who want something more when you don't.

You shouldn't allow yourself out of desperation to get into a situation where you continue seeing someone who is more serious about a relationship than you or allow yourself to be used by someone who only wants sex in the off change that it turns into romance.

When it doesn't feel right just move on because the time you waste with someone who isn't right for you is time you should be spending looking for Mr. Right who could be right around the corner.

Meeting the right person is all about persistence and spreading your net wide. If you get hurt or hurt other people along the way, that's just too bad. You cannot avoid that if you hope to get what you are looking for.

LegacyUser

Yeah you're right, thanks for the advice guys.

I think just the knock-back from this last guy really affected my confidence. It just seems to be this unending process of liking someone only to be met by indifference and attracting the attention of guys that I'm really not into. This literally goes back years...as far as I can remember. I'm sort of thinking 1. I'm not proactive about it and just wait for guys to come to me, instead of approaching the ones I am actually interested in and 2. my confidence is such that I automatically assume the ones I like won't like me, and I'm sure that self-defeating attitude isn't the most attractive thing in the world.

I think maybe I need to date more and take it less seriously. I've been single years and have gone long, long periods with virtually no love life while I've been busy with college, career and travel. In a way I've sort of buried my head in the sand and not made any effort because when I do I just seem to end up disappointed...fear of failure maybe. But as I'm getting older I'm realising I really want to find someone. And the constant frustration of the false starts with guys I like or mediocre 'flings' with guys I have no real feelings for, just makes me feel like it's not worth it.

Thinking back, I've definitely ended up in physical-only relationships with guys I want more from, purely because I like them and would rather be with them - even if it's sex-only - than not. I've grown out of this to an extent but it's always a tempting option when I really like someone and this becomes a possibility, although I am fully aware of how much it compromises me. It never feels good, but how do I make them want more of me?

I just sort of feel like...I'm not 'enough' for these guys to want as a girlfriend but they'll happily fool around and it's hard to not take that personally.

I know all it takes is to meet one guy who feels the same, but I just feel like I'm unlucky in love. In all other areas of my life I've been successful so it's sh1t to feel so out of control with this. It's obviously something I'm projecting...maybe I'm too laidback about dating, maybe I'm totally clueless, maybe I'm crap at flirting...but it's hard to find that insight when you are your own judge. It's hard to objectively evaluate your own behaviour.

Anyway. I'm probably completely over-thinking this whole dilemma, as per usual. It's comforting to at least see that I'm not alone with this. Thanks again for your insights.

daisy1984

Im definitly in the same boat as you, but i did casual meet the person I was mad about long time ago but wait til I tell you he ended up being really dry and boring!! So even if you think there they guy of your dreams you really can overrate them sometimes. I take life as it goes if I meet somebody I meet somebody if I dont I dont.

LegacyUser

frustratedandclueless wrote: »

2. my confidence is such that I automatically assume the ones I like won't like me, and I'm sure that self-defeating attitude isn't the most attractive thing in the world.

This could be a lot of your problem. I was like this for years. Had terribly low self esteem and assumed that everyone (not just available men) were more interested in my lovely friends than in me. So never put myself out there.

My friends moved abroad and I had to go it alone, and I've never had a problem attracting men since.

LegacyUser

My OH was a good friend - and then a best friend - for a good year before we eventually got together.

My head went from "he's just a friend" to " I REALLY DON'T like him that way" to "Hang on a sec, maybe I can't do without him".....

We're getting married this year after 8 years together.

It's completely random. But from experiences I know of, it's often the person you least suspect.

missgroovy21

I think plenty of girls have been in this situation!!!!

(1) your f buddy....he aint in love with you he lusts after you...cheap thrills dont last very long

(2) there is no such thing as "out of my league"

(3) never settle for 2nd best

(4) if u want to meet someone why not go out somewhere different take a another single girlfriend on a speed date night..it can work!!!

(5) you sound very pretty to me but if u dont feel it you wont give out the aura that you do feel pretty.....if u get me.....so work on your self esteem then try the dating thing again....

good luck

Micky 32

missgroovy21 wrote: »

(2) there is no such thing as "out of my league"

Eh? Unfortunately have to disagree on that one.;). But definately never settle. I tried that and eventually you feel trapped.

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

So strange reading your post because I actually could have written it myself! I find it so disheartening to constantly be in that situation of not finding anyone you fancy/click with/wanna date or finding someone, thinking you get on well thikning it might go somewhere then realising they don't see it that way or are only after the one thing ... I think that like you it is a confidence thing, but I understand that it can be hard to keep up confidence up and stay positive when ur constantly met with disappointment or that meh feeling.. I find I'm just always wondering what the hell am I doing wrong when I see other people finding partners so easily ... it does get to u after a while hey!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the continued feedback everyone. It's been helping me to really tease this out in my head.

I feel a bit better about myself now. I think the rejection from the guy I met a few weeks back just hit me like a tonne of bricks, I've never really experienced that sort of rejection before. Which maybe shows that I've lived something of a sheltered dating life!?

I've bandied about words like 'independent' and 'self reliant' and 'self sufficient' for so long to account for my permanently single status, but I think, if I'm perfectly honest, I've just been protecting myself from this sort of rejection. Putting yourself out there always runs the risk of being shot down, and maybe I'm too much of a control freak to be OK with putting my feelings in someone else's hands like that. It really sucks when it happens too...to meet someone and it's just BANG, attraction, interest, chemistry...and then to realise it was a one-sided thing. Not all that pleasant! But that's life and people go through this sort of thing every day, so maybe I need to just develop a thicker skin, or develop enough confidence in myself to accept that not everyone is going to think I'm the dog's boll1cks, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me!!

I guess I could make more of an effort. I'm very used to being single and I have a tendency to shut myself off the more and more dismaying experiences like this I go through. I also worry that maybe I'm TOO used to being single, and that's why I fall into fcuk buddy scenarios or short-term flings...I have a sex drive like anyone else and have done the no-strings thing quite a bit, it's 'safe' and there's no shortage of men looking for this sort of set up. Maybe as a result I don't really know how to instigate the emotional side of things...I sometimes feel like I don't 'know' the steps to take to get a proper, meaningful relationship started? I've never really had one, I've never been in love or come in any way close to it.

And the head fcuk continues. I'll be OK. I know on paper I have a lot to offer, I guess I just have to believe in my own worth a bit more. And Daisy I do think you have a point about somewhat putting these guys I really like on a pedastal...in actual fact I never get to know them enough to find out whether or not they are in fact boring plebs who I have nothing in common with! I guess when the physical attraction is so strong and then they become 'off limits' at least in the emotional sense, it's easy to think you're completely missing out! Thanks for that bit of perspective!x

Wompa1

I think women can be very naive. A lot of women go after guys with certain looks and certain traits which to any other fella would indicate that the guy is a douche. But women are attracted by the same thing that would be a flag to guys. Maybe just work on judging the guys better before getting too involved.

Wompa1

sunflower27 wrote: »

There's definite truth in that.

When I was in my 20s, looks were much more important. The guys I dated then were considered good-looking and as such got a lot of female attention... the majority cheated.

As I've gotten older, looks are not so important. Of course there has to be physical attraction, but a good person is much more attractive to me now.

I mean, what is a pretty face if the guy behind it is a cheating idiot. Oh, if I knew then what I know now :rolleyes::p

It's funny. I'm a guy and got nowhere with girls for most of my late teens and early 20's. I'm not horrible looking but I'm only 5ft 9 and probably not stunning in looks. I remember always telling a friend of mine who had even worse luck than me that unfortunately we'd be alone for a while, while girls got off with @ssholes that don't deserve them and treat them like crap. Then when we're in our mid to late 20's we'd have loads of women after us but they'll all be damaged goods. With insecurities and hang ups from other relationships. I should do psychology!

I am a friend

Wompa1 wrote: »

they'll all be damaged goods. With insecurities and hang ups from other relationships. I should do psychology!

Sounds like you still have those hangups and insecurities plus a nasty streak to boot. These girls may now be more experienced but doesn't mean they are damaged. IMHO it's better to have some relationship experience than none!!

neveah

Just chiming in to say that I find myself in the exact same position as the OP! Haha there are loads of us out there!

I'm so sick of the dating scene as well, I am finally ready to meet someone now (it took me a while to get over my last relationship) but it just isn't happening! It's so frustrating, the guys I'm not really that into contact me and pursue me and the guys that I am interested in - zip, nada, nothing!:(
And I have to add that the guys that I like aren't unbelievable studs either, I've done my time with the 'bad boy', I am definitely looking for a nice guy, someone I am attracted to and have things in common with but he is proving extremely elusive!

I guess there is a point to be made that when you are in your late 20's, early 30's, both for men and women, that there is 'baggage' from previous relationships (I don't like that term but I can't think of another way to describe it). For example the last two guys that I liked, both of them had previous long term relationships. One of them had been single for the last 2-3 years but I could tell that he had been heartbroken from the break up with his ex, the other had been single for approx 8 months and his ex had cheated on him. I just got the impression that they were all about 'protecting' themselves if you know what I mean. I have to admit that I am like this too, I definitely do not 'fall' as easily as I did when I was younger and once you've had your heart broken you tend to try and protect yourself from that happening again. But I suppose you have to take a risk and put yourself out there but it's not always that easy!

LegacyUser

frustratedandclueless wrote: »

I feel a bit better about myself now. I think the rejection from the guy I met a few weeks back just hit me like a tonne of bricks, I've never really experienced that sort of rejection before. Which maybe shows that I've lived something of a sheltered dating life!?

I've bandied about words like 'independent' and 'self reliant' and 'self sufficient' for so long to account for my permanently single status, but I think, if I'm perfectly honest, I've just been protecting myself from this sort of rejection. Putting yourself out there always runs the risk of being shot down, and maybe I'm too much of a control freak to be OK with putting my feelings in someone else's hands like that. It really sucks when it happens too...to meet someone and it's just BANG, attraction, interest, chemistry...and then to realise it was a one-sided thing. Not all that pleasant! But that's life and people go through this sort of thing every day, so maybe I need to just develop a thicker skin, or develop enough confidence in myself to accept that not everyone is going to think I'm the dog's boll1cks, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me!!

I guess I could make more of an effort. I'm very used to being single and I have a tendency to shut myself off the more and more dismaying experiences like this I go through. I also worry that maybe I'm TOO used to being single, and that's why I fall into fcuk buddy scenarios or short-term flings...I have a sex drive like anyone else and have done the no-strings thing quite a bit, it's 'safe' and there's no shortage of men looking for this sort of set up. Maybe as a result I don't really know how to instigate the emotional side of things...I sometimes feel like I don't 'know' the steps to take to get a proper, meaningful relationship started? I've never really had one, I've never been in love or come in any way close to it.

And the head fcuk continues. I'll be OK. I know on paper I have a lot to offer, I guess I just have to believe in my own worth a bit more. And Daisy I do think you have a point about somewhat putting these guys I really like on a pedastal...in actual fact I never get to know them enough to find out whether or not they are in fact boring plebs who I have nothing in common with! I guess when the physical attraction is so strong and then they become 'off limits' at least in the emotional sense, it's easy to think you're completely missing out! Thanks for that bit of perspective!x

I was in your position only a short time ago. ended up in the f buddy thing a couple of times and actually had sort of resigned myself to this being the best I could ever do so I may as well make the most of my life otherwise and not rely on meeting someone for my happiness.

But then I realised I didnt really want the fbuddy thing anymore. I have actually dated loads of men in the last three years (was in a ltr before that). I was knocked back, had fbuddies, had intense short lived things with men I knew were wrong for me. Had one short fling with a foreign man who returned home. Had men who messed me around something else... Are you getting my drift??? It takes a hell of a lot of frogs, and a hell of a lot of putting yourself out there and then you might meet someone lovely.

Actually met someone online at the end. Going to meet him I expected absolutely nothing, the week before I discovered a chap I was involved with had a girlfriend. Worst arsehole I was ever involved with. So I was pretty disheartened. Walked into this date and clicked with this man straight away. Am so so happy now and I hope we'll be together for a long time. He's a truly decent good man and we have loads of fun

btw hold back on the sex thing til you've had a chance to size them up, so to speak. Looking back maybe thats the advice I'd give myself.

Witchie

Hey OP, are we twins? I have been on that same track as you for years now and it really is demoralising. I thought I had met someone right for me and we started seeing each other four weeks ago only for it to end on Saturday when he admitted he was just in it for the sex.

I have been so upset all weekend and just cant think how I can go about finding someone. Most of my mates have been saying to me to spread the net wider and not to date guys within my area or involved in football (Im a LOI fan and usually seem to end up dating fans from other clubs coz they are in the social network I move in) but I really dont know how to go about that at the moment.

I dont go for conventionally goodlooking guys as quirky appeals to me more and if a guy makes me laugh then almost regardless of anything else, I am attracted to him.

So fed up but I suppose we just have to keep trying and eventually hopefully something will click.

Best of luck and if you find a guy, see if he has a brother or a friend for me! ;-)

I am a friend

It will eventually click but why not just take some time off thinking about men....

I had literally given up and I mean given up on men, kids, romance etc and in the most unexpected circumstances an ex of mine (from many many years ago) came back into my life at the most perfect time and all is going great. I didnt go looking for him and I genuinely was out and not thinking about meeting men and it happened... Its a cliché but its also the truth.

LegacyUser

frustratedandclueless wrote: »

I want a guy like him so badly in my life,

I'm never clingy

I'm afraid you are clingy. How can you possibly know that you want the guy so badly in your life? You only went on one date!

The problem is you have a set idea in your head and you projected what you wanted onto this guy. He's probably not what you think he's like at all! Furthermore, maybe he picked up the subtle signs that you're thinking long term already (and you can be sure you showed him signs without realising it-I know this because you say things like 'I want a guy like him so badly in my life'). Thinking long term in such a short time frame will scare anyone off. On the other hand, he could be a knobjockey and just can't be bothered texting back. Doesn't matter either way, as both options have the end result of you not being happy at not being with him.

It will be very hard for you to meet someone if you don't show the other person that you're willing to get to know them, warts and all. You also have to show the person that you're willing to wait until they reveal themselves to you. If you do these things, you'll show your possible boyfriend/girlfriend-to-be you understand that it takes time to build a relationship

LegacyUser

unregistered wrote: »

I'm afraid you are clingy. How can you possibly know that you want the guy so badly in your life? You only went on one date!

The problem is you have a set idea in your head and you projected what you wanted onto this guy. He's probably not what you think he's like at all! Furthermore, maybe he picked up the subtle signs that you're thinking long term already (and you can be sure you showed him signs without realising it-I know this because you say things like 'I want a guy like him so badly in my life'). Thinking long term in such a short time frame will scare anyone off. On the other hand, he could be a knobjockey and just can't be bothered texting back. Doesn't matter either way, as both options have the end result of you not being happy at not being with him.

Well when you isolate those two sentences and run them together, of course I sound like a needy mess. But honestly, I'm pretty sure I don't come across as some kind of Glenn Close type figure. I'd nearly prefer if that was my problem because that's easily fixable.

I approach first dates with caution in general and with the last one I was on, there was flirting and lots of good banter and laughter, but I can think of nothing I did that implied I wanted a relationship with him. I didn't make the first move, I didn't imply we'd see each other again, I didn't harp on about wanting a relationship or future plans and I didn't even mention the possibility of a second date...I just sort of assumed seeing as we spent the whole night together, talking and kissing and being affectionate, that it was on the cards. How naive of me!

I do agree with you on the projection thing though. I obviously read far too much into this guy, probably because I've not met anyone I've been even vaguely interested in, in a while. When I said 'I want a guy like him so badly in my life', I meant someone I click with, who I can chat to and laugh with, with ease, a nice guy with the same outlook as me and who I'm strongly physically attracted to. I meet so few of them but the ones that I do meet...don't seem to reciprocate these feelings. Granted I sound like a headcase for thinking like this after one date with a relative stranger, but I felt the connection was there at the time, obviously I misjudged.

Wompa - thanks for your post. I've never thought about it that way. I am beginning to think I somewhat prioritise looks and physical attraction when it comes to guys. I don't think I've ever had one of those situations where a good friend becomes something more...or even one where I get to know a guy and then the attraction develops. It's always been instant physical attraction that draws me in and I invariably end up disappointed. Maybe I'm going for the over-confident, really good looking guys who are used to having lots of offers on the table and will see nothing special in me.

I'm really beginning to question my judgement on this to be honest, which is scary because when it comes to friends I sort of pride myself on it. I'll only surround myself with people who are good for me and have no trouble steering clear of people who drag me down. It's instinctive. Except with men. I haven't a clue, apparently.

God. What a train wreck!!

LegacyUser

frustratedandclueless wrote: »

I am beginning to think I somewhat prioritise looks and physical attraction when it comes to guys. I don't think I've ever had one of those situations where a good friend becomes something more...or even one where I get to know a guy and then the attraction develops. It's always been instant physical attraction that draws me in and I invariably end up disappointed.

But physical attraction is really important. theres always a 'would' or 'wouldnt' reaction when you first meet someone and theres nothing wrong with that.

Chap I met online had a terrible profile photo up. It honestly didnt do him any justice at all imo. But I could tell from his profile that he was smart and had similar interests so I thought it might be worth meeting him anyway. Instant click when I met him.

So do try online, but dont rely on it alone. And try not to judge on physical looks alone initially. I can guarantee on any night out, there are men who dont stand out straight away as they're less loud or extroverted. And they're attractive too, just not as noticeable straight off. Its like with any new group of people, those you notice initially arent necessarily those you'll click with in the longer term.

In other words, maybe you should start looking in places you havent looked before. Do stuff you dont normally do. Maybe do some things on your own so you're forced to meet people. Get out of your comfort zone. No its not easy but its character building at the very least and you'll grow in confidence over time.

LegacyUser

frustratedandclueless wrote: »

Well when you isolate those two sentences and run them together, of course I sound like a needy mess. But honestly, I'm pretty sure I don't come across as some kind of Glenn Close type figure. I'd nearly prefer if that was my problem because that's easily fixable.

I approach first dates with caution in general and with the last one I was on, there was flirting and lots of good banter and laughter, but I can think of nothing I did that implied I wanted a relationship with him. I didn't make the first move, I didn't imply we'd see each other again, I didn't harp on about wanting a relationship or future plans and I didn't even mention the possibility of a second date...I just sort of assumed seeing as we spent the whole night together, talking and kissing and being affectionate, that it was on the cards. How naive of me!

I do agree with you on the projection thing though. I obviously read far too much into this guy, probably because I've not met anyone I've been even vaguely interested in, in a while. When I said 'I want a guy like him so badly in my life', I meant someone I click with, who I can chat to and laugh with, with ease, a nice guy with the same outlook as me and who I'm strongly physically attracted to. I meet so few of them but the ones that I do meet...don't seem to reciprocate these feelings. Granted I sound like a headcase for thinking like this after one date with a relative stranger, but I felt the connection was there at the time, obviously I misjudged.

In the past I would've had the same butterflies when I'd just met someone nice. Like you, I would have considered myself a good judge of character, and like you, I was! But some bad experiences then taught me to expect nothing, nada, zero when I met anyone new. I had to be strict with myself about this. The alternative was getting my hopes up and having them dashed.
If you expect nothing, you won't be upset when you get nothing. But you'll be over the moon if something positive does develop!

Steamer

Don't give yourself such a hard time OP.

It sounds totally normal to me what you are going through. Most of my friends experience the same thing with guys. The guys you want don't want you and the guys that you don't want are mad after you. Typical!!!

At least you are dating and on the scene. You are only 26. I'm 28 and never, ever find anyone that I'm interested in. Looks are not that important to me but attraction is. Mainly someone who has a great sense of humour and witty, that gets me every time. If a guy doesn't get my sense of humour it's a no straight away unless I fancy a bit of something something.

My main problem is that I have two very good looking friends who I go out with all the time so I'm never chatted up. So my love life is pretty non existent but to be honest it doesn't bother me that much. I am pretty happy in myself so I don't mind waiting for the right one

HugoDrax

Hi OP,

You shouldn't feel down on yourself.

I lost my virginity when I was 15 and since then I've never been without female company. My longest relationship was about three months and I ended it because I was bored and learned I didn't really love the girl. Through school, college, work and I'm currently unemployed I have met loads of women. I can never see myself settling down and I honestly believe I never will.

Other people who are with one person all their lives or have a series of long term relationships perplex me because it is so easy to meet people so when they end up in relationships they are putting themselves out circulation in my opinion.

So OP if you are single you have incredible freedom to meet so many people and have so many amazing experiences.

If you are not conventionally attractive and you have not very much experience with the opposite sex, I would actually envy you because you can observe people at a distance and enjoy the spectacle but not get entangled and do your own thing.

I can remember a teacher who was a spinster which didn't stop her living a great life.

As long as you have your health you have your wealth.

thecookingapple

when you least expect it.

LegacyUser

Steamer wrote: »

My main problem is that I have two very good looking friends who I go out with all the time so I'm never chatted up.

Eh... I don't want to be rude, but do I sense I bit too self-defeating sense of pride there!?!

Why do you have to be chatted up? Many lads put so much effort into not over-stepping boundaries and not coming across as sleazy or disrespectful. So you won't meet a lot of the best lads in those circumstances without taking some responsibility and initiative.

Steamer

hmm!!! wrote: »

Eh... I don't want to be rude, but do I sense I bit too self-defeating sense of pride there!?!

Wow! I had to read that twice!

hmm!!! wrote: »

Why do you have to be chatted up?

I didn't say that. What I meant was that my friends get approached more than me. I don't chat guys up as such... that's just me.